The Longest Night
by AnonnyMousie
Summary: Beaten, blinded, and struck with amnesia, Raphael has no recollection of what happened to him or who he is except for his name. Losing himself inside his own little world, it isn't until a certain blue-eyed boy comes along to save him from himself that he begins to piece together the clues to his past. Human AU.
1. Darkness

Darkness

Pain exploded in Raph's head as he awoke. His eyes were on fire and head seemed to pulsate with every breath he took. The last thing he remembered was...was...

"Damn..."

He ran his hand through his brown hair and shook his head slightly. He tried opening his eyes but snapped them shut again with a sharp hiss.  
Breathing harshly and holding back stinging tears with forced palms digging into his eyes, he tried listening for familiar sounds. Raph heaved a ragged breath, pushing the pain to the side and sat up. His hands felt the cool, damp cement under him. The place definitely smelled awful. That was an understatement.

He worked his fingers through his tangled mat of hair and pulled out clumps of something or other, he wasn't too sure.

"Well, lookie here. A brat in our home?"

"Who's there!"

Raph jumped to his feet, his breath coming laboriously to him.

"Heeey, the brat's hurt."

The voice echoed, and Raph suddenly felt extremely vulnerable. He forced his eyes open and saw a red shadow of a tall man through squinted eyes. He forced them shut again and slapped his hands over them again, retreating against the cool wall behind him. God, why did it hurt?

"What's your name, brat?"

"Piss off."

"Well, Piss Off, how 'bout getting you help?"

"Shove off, get out of here!"

"You sure you wanna do that, Piss Off? Have you any idea where you are?"

Raph's jaw clenched tight. Of course he wanted to know, but this guy seemed like a slimeball. Perhaps minutes passed before the voice belted out a resigned chortle.

"Fine. Rot. I'll be back." Raph let out a snort and shrugged, too proud for his own good. "Whatever you say."

* * *

Clumsily, Raph's numb feet stumbled over forgotten rusted cans and chip bags. He was as blind as a bat without echolocation. Did a day in his life even exist where he could see at all? Maybe it was all hopeful thinking and he was always blind...

"Augh, damn it!"

A sudden step had caused him to stumble forwards out on the cold ground before him. Breathing heavily, he succumbed to his exhaustion and pressed his forehead to the damp cement, trying to even out his breathing. Everything hurt. To add insult to injury, he immensely regretted not accepting help from the man he had previously encountered. He wasn't even sure how long ago it was, but it felt like eons. Without light, time had no meaning.

His stomach gave an unpleasant lurch as the stench of someone's evacuated bowels began to overtake him. Vertigo had threatened to make him throw up, but he held it back and crawled onto flat ground once again. Draping his arm over his eyes, he clutched his stomach and tried swallowing back the vomit that was quickly rising in the back of his throat and the tears that threatened to spill over his eyes. He had to face the fact that potentially no one would be looking for him. His gut told him otherwise. It was easy to lose hope when you didn't even know where you were.

Blaming hunger and thirst, he pushed the thought as far back in his head as he could. There was no use thinking about something like that. Whether someone was looking for him or not, he still had to find out how to escape his prison.  
Feeling blood trickle from the scrapes on his hands and knees, he scraped together meager strength and continued on. Someone would be upset if he didn't choose that course of action. Unable to pinpoint whom, he dusted himself off and put one foot in front of the other. It really was the only way to forge ahead.

A steel bar flaked with rust ran beneath his fingers. Strangely enough, he was getting accustomed to his darkness. Yeah, it sucked at first, but if he made a game of it, it didn't seem so bad. It was kind of like one of those games you played as a kid where you blindfolded yourself and tried to navigate through your house. Except it was your house and no one could resist peeking under the blindfold to make sure you wouldn't stub your toes into any furniture or walls.  
There was no cheating here. The worst of it was that he felt comfortable enough being alone, it was the loss of a sense that had begun to brew the panic in his stomach. Swallowing it back like the first shot of an undesirable whiskey, he shivered once and tried to regain some sense of control over himself.

"This sucks." He said with a single forced chuckle.

* * *

Raph could feel his mouth grow thick with saliva. It was uncomfortable; and he felt weak with each passing moment. He definitely ventured away from where he initially woke up, desperately trying to find an exit, people, or just an escape from his own damned mind. Despair replaced fear. He was unable to see, or even open his eyes properly for that matter, since he found himself wherever he was. He was dizzy, always dizzy, whenever he would move. Dehydration had quickly taken hold of him, and he desperately wished that someone he knew would find him and wondered if they were even looking. Were they looking? The same idea had quickly festered in the darkest corner of his brain and latched onto it like a parasite.

Despair washed over him like a tidal wave. Who, exactly, would be looking for him?

"Hey, Piss Off found us!"

Raph recognized the voice. Wanting to return the insult, he opened his mouth and was caught by a violent bout of coughs; sparking up the pain in his head. As the coughs passed, he suddenly became aware that hands were holding him up and something wet beneath his lips.

"You stupid pissant, you should have taken my help when I offered it."

"Piss..." He coughed, "off."

"Yeah, yeah, you're tough. Take the damn water and come sit. You didn't drink any of this sewer shit, did you? That's actual sewer shit water."

Raph would have gagged, but he greedily drank the bottled water that was shoved in his mouth and promptly felt his energy beginning to return to him.

"Hey, Petey, get this kid to a bed and shove pills in his mouth."

"Yes boss, right away boss."

"So, Piss Off, you gonna tell me your name or am I gonna have to keep calling you that?"

Raph felt his shoulders slouch further and further down, the man grunting as he struggled to keep him up.

"Hey! Don't you dare-pass out..."

He sighed and dragged Raph off to a moth-eaten mattress in the lair with Pete. He scowled and looked over the kid, seeing blood caked in his hair on the back.

"What the hell did you get yourself into..." He sighed and turned to Pete, "get Gecko to bring by some bandages and peroxide."

"Yes boss, right away boss."

"And stop that."

"Yes boss, right away boss." He rolled his eye, the other one patched up, and pulled out a cigarette. Lighting it up expertly, he exhaled an irritated cloud of smoke.

"Fuckin' useless..."

* * *

AN: Hope you enjoyed chapter 1!


	2. Deja-Vu

Deja-Vu

"Why won't you!?"

"Face it, kid! No one's looking for you! No wanted posters, no news reports, no amber alerts; nothing! You're an unwanted child, get that through your thick skull!"

Gecko, a wide-faced, older teen, had gripped onto his skateboard sympathetically. Raphael had asked to go topside mere minutes after waking up, but Hob broke the news that he hadn't seen signs of people looking for him. He knew the feeling of being unwanted too well.

"Hey, come on, let's just-"

"Don't fucking baby him, Gecko!"

Hob spat, back-handing him to the ground. His golden-brown eyes were wild with fire. The end of his cigarette had crushed in between his anger-clenched jaw.

"He's not a fucking child! Not on the streets, you're not! You're nothing! You live and die by dumpster diving and panhandling! You're not even fucking human when you don't have a home! You're a fucking hobo! There's a reason why we're de-humanized, we're freaks of nature! We don't even belong in the world above us, why the fuck do you think we live in the sewers!?"

Hob had been drilling his lecture into Raph for what felt like hours. Bandage wrapped and shaking in absolute defiance, he couldn't help but feel like the old man had a point. He couldn't even move to get away from the spittle that flew on his cheek from time to time. So, he sat in his makeshift bed, near delirious with lies and sadness. If what he was saying was true, he'd know soon enough. The moment he was well enough to walk, he'd find out the truth.

"How about you just don't fucking yell at him then, huh?!"

Raph hated Gecko fighting for him. His voice cracked with every word; maybe he was crying, and he felt responsible. Defeated, more like it. There was just no strength left in him to fight back or against anything or anyone, never mind for himself.

"The guy's been wandering the sewers blindsided and hurt and you think you're helping!? What the fuck about treating people like him like family? This is wrong, Hob! You're wrong! I'm going to go report him to-"

A choked gasp and Gecko fell silent. Raph strained his ears to try and figure out what happened to him to no avail. It was deathly silent.

"Guys?"

Silence. Holding back the want to wave his hand in front of him, as a baby would, he called out again.

"Hob? I get it...I'll stay here."

There was a sudden, forced gasp followed by hacks, coughing, and then growls. "You asshole..." Gecko's hand pressed against Raph's chest. "Don't, he's-"

"He said he'll stay, so he'll stay. Good job, Piss Off. We scratch your back, you scratch ours."

A deep hatred for Hob boiled inside him. He had to play by his rules to live for now. Even if he walked away, he knew for a fact that he wouldn't last long. He did that once before, and it was a mistake. A second time could prove lethal; and he had every intention of finding out who he was.

From the corner of the room, red-cheeked and nearly hissing in anger, Gecko had stared at the pathetic sight of a man in front of him. Hob really was going to use this kid as a bribe against the folks topside for a bit of extra cash? The asshole had no sense of judgement for the pathetic child in front of him. Gecko tugged his bangs further over an eye and felt envious for Piss Off, or whatever his name was, for being blind. He still hadn't said. Hell, he woke up maybe an hour ago after being out cold for two days. Of course, he and Petey had gone up to scout for wanted posters and news, but everything turned up fruitless. Not only that, but he knew for a fact that even if an amber alert went out for a specific name, it was lost in the New York din. Everyone would forget Piss Off in a few days anyways. His name will be just another name and statistic and that would be that. And if he were blind? Well, he wouldn't have to stand the looks that the other people gave his kind. Homeless people were, as Hob said, de-humanized.

* * *

Raphael had gotten used to being called Piss Off. Between his panhandling and dumpster diving for food, he had grown thin. His clothes were sagging off him, and Old Hob had to tie his pants together at the belt loops so that they'd stay on him. His once muscular frame had thinned out from the constant hunger gnawing at his stomach. To add to everything, he had gotten used to the idea of being blind. His new world consisted of shadows and dancing lights and nothing more. Hob had provided him with a forgotten yard stick he had found to help him navigate the upper city of New York. He had found a pair of sunglasses on the pavement and decided to put them on to help him with his pitiful panhandling. Most profit went to the lair upkeep, or so Hob said, but he'd try and keep some pocket money for himself. From time to time, he'd stop by for a pizza or gyoza whenever he had what he thought was enough.

"Hey, kiddo! What's up!"

"Starving."

Raph had entered Antonio's pizzeria and slumped over a table, grabbing his stomach with a pained look. The hunger pangs were violent today.

"Do I have enough for a slice? I can't count bills..."

He shoved a few bills on the table and pulled his sunglasses up, peering as closely as he could at each bill. Antonio, the owner, approached the table and scrunched his nose at the smell from the boy.

"Did you bathe or what?"

"Nah, no water right now to wash with. We've drinking water, but that's about it."

He was open with Antonio. He honestly felt as if he was the only one whom he could talk to so freely. With a dour look, Antonio looked down at the monopoly money that someone had thought a dark joke to give Raph and frowned deeply. His eyes glanced down at the ever-thinning figure and he placed a hand on his shoulder, scooping up the monopoly money.

"Yeah, buddy, it's enough for a large pie." Raph perked up and grinned from ear to ear, "you serious!? That's fifteen bucks right there? You sure, right? You're not pulling my leg?"

"Nah, you up for a large? Think you can eat it all?"

"Yeah, I'm starving!"

Antonio smiled from ear to ear and retreated to the back of the kitchen to start on his pizza.

"You know, you should go to the hospital..."

"Why would I do that? I'm fine!"

"Except for the fact that you're blind, have amnesia, and maybe because you haven't been home in months."

"I can't go, are you crazy? They'd charge me more than fifteen bucks."

"Kid, you're not even really blind. Your eyes have blood in them, you can get that removed and you'll be able to see again, never mind that you'll get the help you need, you'll be able to actually find out who you are."

Raphael shrugged and leaned back over the table, discouraged.

"No one's looked for me since I've disappeared. I don't even know where I am half the time. Like I get through this half of the city well enough, but after that, I dunno, I get lost. Hob comes looking for me if I'm out too late. At least there's him."

"He actually looks for me..."

He thought glumly, letting sorrow overtake him. Antonio truly felt bad for the kid. He didn't look to be more than seventeen, if that, but he wasn't even sure himself about his age.

"Must be tough." Antonio murmured to himself, Raph perking up and looking at his general direction.

"What?"

"Oh...I mean, it must be tough not remembering where you're from."

Raph shrugged again, pulling out all the money he had and began counting it save for the bills.

"I mean, I'm not too bad off." Just then, his stomach gave an unfortunate loud growl, earning a blush from the teen. "Well...too bad off."

"Kid, I'm telling you that-"

"Toni! My man! One pizzarooni to go! Hey-phew! It reeks here!"

Raph felt a tinge of pain wrack his head and pulled up his hood and promptly shoved his glasses on his face. He hunched over and tried making himself unseen. All flight sensations overtook him, but he was damned if he was gonna let a perfectly good pizza he paid for go to waste.

"Mikey! What's up, little buddy!?"

"Not much. Went looking today for my cat. He's missing too."

"So we've two missing people," Mikey gave a slight nod at the mentioning of a cat being a person and let him continue, "and what, pizza? Seems like a good break. Lemme wrap up this order and I'll get working on yours." Mikey flopped inside a booth and pulled out his phone. Raph shifted his eyes towards him and winced. After all this time, it still hurt to move them.

"So what d'you think of this kitty, huh? Ain't he cute?!"

For some reason, Mikey had noticed the blind teen instantly and shoved the phone in his face. The comments about the stench suddenly disappeared, even though he knew that the boy could smell him, and he looked away. "Mikey, don't bother the patrons. He's blind anyways. Can't see."

"Ooooh, sorry dude. Hey, but if you find a lost cat, he answers to the name Klunk, really soft fur, and about this big."

Mikey took Raph's hands and made a measurement with them. His eyebrows suddenly furrowed together and he stopped completely. "Hey, you look kinda familiar...did we go to the same school or something?"

"He's got amnesia."

Mikey's mouth formed into an O shape as he nodded slowly. Wanting to take another good look at the boy, he leaned sideways in front of his face, trying to discern his sunken features until a loud banging noise made him jump.

"HEY PISS OFF."

Raph suddenly stood up tall and punched Mikey square in the jaw before collecting his money and scrambling off towards the door.

"There you are, you pissant! What the hell do you think you're doing? You spent money on this crap!"

Antonio sprinted over to Mikey and quickly shielded him. Hob grabbed Raph by the collar of his shirt and lift him up with a shake.

"The hell! That's everyone cut, you jackass!"

"Hey! Let go of the kid! He paid with monopoly money! Maybe if you didn't let him panhandle blindly, he wouldn't get duped with fakes!"

Mikey placed a hand over his cheek and stared, wide-eyed and awed at the commotion.

"Monopoly money? Bah, can't even get real cash anymore?"

Raph felt his face grow red and he swung at the air in front of him, barely scratching Hob's nose.

"Useless. Come on, runt, we're going home."

"Hey, don't you want your pizza!?" Antonio shouted after them. He honestly felt bad for Raph, and the least he could do was give him something to eat-anything. Without missing a beat, voice filled with hurt pride, Raph shot back, "I didn't pay for it!" And was dragged off by the tall man in a duster coat.

"You dumbass."

"Piss off, Hob."

"Wait, come back!"

Antonio shot past Mikey and went to try and stop him but Hob stood in front of Raph and held open his coat.

"Leave the kid alone." Antonio's eyes fell on dual guns and he backed away, hands up. "Whoa, hey, you shouldn't be carrying those around kids."

"That kid isn't a kid." Hob looked back at Raphael, poor Raphael, with his chin tucked into his chest and fists balled up beside him.

"He's all grown up after shitty people threw him out. He's our family now."

Butterflies fluttered in the blind boy's chest and he reached out to grab them, his hand falling on Hob's coat.

"Come on, Piss Off."

"Yeah."

The entire time, bright baby blues watched the scene unfold with grand curiosity.

"You okay, Mikester?"  
"Yeah, I'm good."

Antonio leaned down and helped Mikey off the ground, taking a look at his cheek with a frown.

"I shouldn't let that punk in next time..."

"Nah, it's fine! Actually, call me up if he does come by again! Or text. Whateves works."

Though his cheek burned from the punch, he couldn't help but grin. Deja-vu had a strong grip on him and he wasn't about to let it go.

* * *

AN: Chapter deux pour vous. Because I had it. 3


	3. Leatherhead

Leatherhead

Raphael had trusted Hob in that pizzeria. Worst of all, he believed in him. He believed that he was there to take him home and away from the people who had begun to put more pressure on him that he could stand.

"Don't go back there."

"Yeah."

Raph had been laying on his stomach on top of wooden pallets, his fingers picking at the splinters. To say he was depressed over the scenario was an understatement.

"It was for your own good."

"I know."

He flinched when a splinter stabbed him under his nail and found that to occupy his thoughts now.

"And that kid is off limits."

"I don't know who he is or how to find him. That'd be no problem."

Another prolonged silence before Hob placed a hand on Raph's shoulder, making the boy look up at the dark silhouette.

"Listen, about what I said..."

"Which part?"

"All of it. I meant it. You aren't a kid anymore. It's time to grow up. You've spent what, five months? Six? Begging for money and being topside during daylight hours. No one's come forwards to say that you belong somewhere. I mean it when I say that you're our family, Piss Off."

The name had stuck, and no matter how many times he tried to get Hob to use his real name, it never worked. But his words shone through him like a beacon of light and he settled in on his pallets.

"Thanks, Hob. Sorry I went to spend money."

"Bah, it was all fake money anyways. I'll send Petey with you next time. Blind leading the stupid oughta get you a bit more or something. At least bird-for-brains can tell the difference between real money and monopoly money."

His words stung his already dampened spirits. To make matters worse, it seemed like Hob genuinely cared about him and his well being enough to make sure that he wasn't being tricked.

"Take a few days off. I know you feel like ass after that. I don't care what you do, just try and keep hidden for a while."

"Yeah. I might go to Central Park for a while. Wash up a bit and stuff."

"Sure. Gecko should be coming by soon, he'll take you to the right exit."

Raph forced a smile. Now was when he missed his eyesight. He just wanted to be left alone until he could sort out his thoughts.

* * *

Raph had been led far enough by Gecko to be left alone and navigate his way to the park on his own. The sun was always bright enough here for him to make out general details. A person's smile, their eyebrows going up in joy, hair flying in the wind, sometimes he could figure out the breed of dogs that passed. He liked it there. What's more, he liked his little pond area where he could wash off the dirt and grime that had layered itself on his skin and clothes over the course of a couple of weeks. There were stares, he knew, but he couldn't see them anyways. What'd it matter?

"Need clothes this week?"

He hadn't even heard the man behind him, but he recognized it right away.

"Hey, Leatherhead."

The bald man's eyes crinkled into a sad smile. He, too, was homeless. But his benefit was that he was living in a shelter for the past couple of weeks where they provided him with food and clothes. He was trying to get back on his feet, but the army veteran's old life plagued him still.

"You should use my real name."

"I like this one better."

"My head was burned. Not my fault it feels like leather."

"I know, but it's kinda cool."

Leatherhead's mouth pulled into a tight line as he approached Raph and leaned down in front of his eyes, staring at them.

"Like being blind-but-not-really-blind is kinda cool?"

"Hey, man, not cool."

"Neither is getting your scalp burned."

Letting out a defeated sigh, Raphael sat in a heap on the ground, shrugging.

"Sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about. Just be more sensitive."

"Yeah, I'm not too great at that."

Another forced smile and Raph sat down, feeling a bit dizzy from the lack of food.

"God any soap to share?"

"Yeah, here."

Leatherhead reached into his pocket and pulled out a new box of soap and opened it; making sure to place it properly in Raph's hand so he knew it was there. Closing his hand around it gratefully, Raph placed his other hand on top of Leatherhead's.

"Thanks. I mean it."

"Yeah, keep that bar. I've been washing every other day at the shelter. It feels great. Makes you feel like a person."

"Yeah well, I don't exactly have that opportunity."

"Well-"

"And don't tell me to go where you are. I don't trust them. Hob said-"

"What Hob says and what is true are two different things. Don't believe everything he says."

"But he's right! No one's come to look for me!"

Raphael suddenly felt very small with that one sentence. His heart thrummed as he spilled his feelings.

"No one's looking for me just like no one's looking for you! It doesn't matter what Hob says after that. Whether it's true or not, it doesn't matter. It just...it just doesn't matter."

His thinned out hands clenched onto the soap, feeling angry and sad all at once. He was tired of everyone telling him what to do or where to go. He just wanted to be left alone.  
Leatherhead, however, instantly picked up on this and heaved a sigh.

"Listen, kid, you want my opinion? Depression isn't good for a kid your age. I've seen guys in my platoon do bad stuff in that state. You know I'm always here on my free time, but for now, I've gotta go to an interview."

Weary-eyed, Raph looked up at the outline of the well-toned man and nodded.

"I'll be back here tonight to visit you if you want. Can I count on you to be here?"

"Yeah, sure. Whatever."

"I mean it. I want to see you here tonight. I'm going to bring some supplies for you."

Raph nodded, his mouth glued together. Holding back tears, he rubbed his nose with the back of his hand and swallowed the lump in his throat. He was miserable.

"Think about turning yourself in. Someone's gotta be looking for you. I don't believe in this bullshit that no one is. Do you honestly think that no one's looking for a kid your age? Even the worst of foster care families will turn in a missing person's report in fear of losing their license."

The veteran hauled Raphael onto his feet from under his arms with one mighty heave. Leatherhead grew intensely angry with each passing moment at the kid in his hand.

"I'm sick of people lying to you. I'm homeless because I choose to be. You didn't. I'm going to find out the truth, and I want to see you here tonight. If you're not here, I'm going to the police."

The idea struck fear in his heart. Hob warned him against the cops. They'd throw him in the jail for a few days if they got hold of him just because they'd have nowhere else for him. Or worse, they'd keep him in jail because they'd think he was a robber of some sort, like all teenagers his age.

"No, don't."

"Then show up."

With his words being final, Leatherhead took his leave. Raphael sunk to his knees the moment he heard no more rustling grass and allowed anger and fear to reign over him. In that moment, he deeply hated Leatherhead for wanting to help him. He wanted to run back to Hob and stay there, safe and sound underground; but the soap in his hands and the sound of a gentle pond rippling in the wind was too tempting to ignore.

* * *

Raph awoke with a violent urge to puke. His stomach churned and flip-flopped until he finally turned to his side and dry-heaved until water forced out of his mouth. His stomach twisted maliciously, begging him to feed it something. Tears of pain squeezed out of his eyes as he wandered over to a trash can. His hands delved inside with violent tremors as he searched for something-anything-to feed the monster inside his belly. To his dismay, the city had to have cleaned out the trashcans recently because they were completely empty. Kicking the bin out of sheer frustration, he stumbled backwards and clung onto his sides with pathetic cries of pain. There was nothing to eat. Nothing to eat. Nothing to eat!  
His mind angrily ran over the same thoughts over and over and over, a balled fist pounding the ground at every time he thought of food. The pizza he turned down?

_WHACK_.

A granola bar maybe?

_THUMP_.

His foot made contact with the metal trash bin with a dinging noise as his tantrum continued. His stomach convulsed again and strings of saliva stuck from the side of his mouth to the grass. There was nothing left to throw up. His crying turned into poignant sobbing, his face buried in the crook of his elbow. A few minutes had passed by in this position, and the pain wasn't subsiding. He had to act on it. Aware of the grass in between his fingers and dirt under his fingernails, a different kind of crying took over him. It wasn't out of pain this time. It wasn't a tantrum crying. It was one of disgust with himself. He lowered his mouth to the grass and opened wide, his breathing hitching in his throat every other second. It had to be done. There was nothing else he could do. He had no money, the bins were empty, and Leatherhead hadn't come by. He had to wait for someone to pick him up, the people he depended on, and they were nowhere around him. Shaking his head, he wretched away, absolutely disgusted with himself and what he was about to do, but the agonizing tear in his stomach made him reposition his mouth over the grass. It was absolutely humiliating. Hob was right. He wasn't really human anymore.  
With the final act of despair, his teeth took hold of a large patch of grass and earth and he chewed at it with all the wretchedness a person could muster.  
It was grainy. He gagged and sputtered and coughed, but he was too weak to go anywhere. The outburst had taken up his last ounce of strength. He let out a woeful sob as he lowered his head to the grass again, wanting to throw up, and grabbed another patch of the New York soil. He didn't bother to chew this time. Whatever was inside would be consumed whole, and he didn't want to think about it. Hob's words flew about his head the entire time; he wasn't human. He wasn't a kid. He was nothing. Nothing.  
Another mouthful was consumed before he scrunched up in a ball, hiding his face in between his arms as he sobbed in disbelief at what he had just done.

"Hey!"

He'd sunk to the lowest of the lows of his lifetime, he was sure.

"Oh my god, what did you do!?"

It was Leatherhead. Two large hands tried to move him to see his face, Raph still chewing on bits of grass stuck in between his teeth. He tried to force himself away from the bright light being shone in his face, but it was no use. Leatherhead was definitely stronger than he was.

"What is this? Oh god, you ate that garbage!? Speak to me!"

"Go away! Just go away!"

Raph fought against the hands holding onto his wrists, trying to wipe his chin from the topsoil and saliva that mingled together.

"Look at me, Raphael."

"NO!"

"LOOK AT ME!"

The voice commanded him. In all his acts of stupidity, to listen to him was the worst. He looked directly at Leatherhead, face pulled back in a pained expression that didn't suit any human being, and stopped fighting. His hands and mouth were covered in soil and blood and grass. From what, Leatherhead could only imagine were from the hidden pebbles in the ground that he had hit or bitten into. His eyes, god his eyes, were wide and bloodied and tear-filled.

"Oh my god..."

Leatherhead repeated, pulling Raph close to him in a hug. The teenager would have fought against it if he could, but he couldn't.

"I wanna go home." Raph cried, Leatherhead's heart tearing in two. He had heard the crying from across the park and the banging of the trash bin and had rushed over as fast as he could just in time to see Raphael scooping up the very earth beneath him and topple over in disbelief.

"I wanna go home...!"

Leatherhead pulled the canteen from his belt and pressed it to Raph's mouth, washing out the dirt and blood and grass before allowing him to swallow the clean water. Scooping him up in his arms and holding him close, he began to make his way out of the park in a jog. Flashes of Afghanistan flashed across his eyes as he carried a little boy out of gunfire and towards a shelter. Except this wasn't Afghanistan. This was freaking New York. There was absolutely no reason for a teenage boy to be in such a state of desperation that he'd resort to eating grass.

"We're going, Raphael, we're going."

Leatherhead had tried to calm the hysterical boy. He thought he'd escaped the need to save children in such a fashion, but even the streets of New York seemed to be a battleground for the homeless.

* * *

AN: I am a monster :(


	4. Nightwatcher

Nightwatcher

Shock had definitely overwhelmed Raphael. He had woke up in the familiar, persisting darkness, and hadn't bothered to move. Sure enough, the grass and soil had done its job in calming the torment in his stomach, but now he had own monster to face. He had sunken below the human norms and did anything to calm his stomach. It was such a tremendous decision at the moment's decision; but now? He realized that it was one of the most fucked up decisions of his life. No one sane did what he did.

"I know you're awake."

The gruff voice of Leatherhead roused him from his spiral of self-loathing thoughts.

"I'm...I'm sorry I didn't come sooner. You did something no one should be ever forced to do."

So what, he thought. So what did it matter if he ate a couple of mouthfuls of dirt? There was nothing he could have done to stop it.  
Leatherhead looked at him with pity and cleared his throat from the lump that had grown there.

"We're at my place."

Raphael didn't stir. He didn't care. He wanted to...he wanted to...

"Don't give up on me, kid...one shitty thing happening isn't the worst thing in life. It fucking sucks, but goddamn, don't beat yourself up over it."

Leatherhead felt tears prick behind his eyes. He couldn't lose him to such a stupid, idiotic, self-depreciating act. It was senseless.  
Still, there he lay. Hand up close to his face as he lay on his side in a fetal position. An opened sleeping bag had been draped over him to keep him warm on top of the barrel fire that he had started up earlier.

"Come on, kid, don't do this to me...I made something for you to eat. Look! Hot dogs! You can have one, right? I even have some mustard and ketchup."

He tried to coax Raphael out of his near catatonic state. Leatherhead couldn't take it anymore. He reached over to Raph and pulled him against his chest, pressing the hot dog to his mouth and jamming it inside.

"You're going to fucking eat real food and get the hell out of this funk! You're a kid! You can't give up on life after eating goddamn dirt! You know who else eats dirt? Five year olds! And they love it! So man the fuck up, eat your hot dog, and stop being a goddamn wimp, you hear me?"

Raph blinked a few times and bit down on the hot dog, savoring the warmth of another person beside him. Thick globules of tears rolled down his face as he took the hot dog from Leatherhead's hand and stuffed as much of it as he could in his mouth with trembling hands. It smelled so good. It tasted even better. God, what the hell was he thinking? It wasn't the end. It couldn't be the end for him. If things got better and hot dogs were the best thing to happen to him in his miserable, short life, then something better had to be in store for him.  
Leatherhead never let him go. He squeezed onto him with one arm and prepared another hot dog with his other one, cooking it on the end of a bicycle spoke over the fire.

"That's it. Eat up. Don't you fucking dare do that again or I'll feed you that dirt myself. Understand?"

Raph's wiped at the snot and tears that ran down his face, holding his other hand covered with mustard up so none would leak on the ground.

"I said, do you understand?"

Nodding, he swallowed the large clump of food in his mouth and greedily waited for more.

"Good."

Leatherhead's chin trembled and nose grew red as he looked down at the child he saved. It was definitely more than he could say for some of the people back where he was deployed. This one precious life in front of him struck a chord in him and he wasn't going to let him waste away. There was no way that was going to happen.

"If no one comes to claim you, kid, and I get back on my feet, I'm taking you in, you got that?"

That alone was enough to send Raphael bawling again. He hated himself for it. He despised himself for allowing himself to cry so freely.

"But you gotta stop acting like a five year old. And you're not going back to that place you were at. You're staying here. I've food here, water, beds...you don't have to do no panhandling stuff. I get it from the shelter. Just don't give up, alright? My buddy comes by here as well once in a while. We'll keep you safe."

The second hot dog, split at both ends and sizzling with fat, was handed to Raph in a cold bun.

"Whaddaya say?" Over the rolling hiccups and the now strongly gurgling stomach, he nodded.

"Yeah."

"That's what I like to hear."

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet. You've still gotta get better. I know for a fact it doesn't happen overnight, don't try and fool me. I was deployed for ten years. I'm not stupid."

Raph let out a wry smile. He hated himself, it was true, but if what Leatherhead said was also true, then at least there was some light at the end of his very dark tunnel.

"Thanks for the hot dogs."

"I'd let you go to get some cola I managed to buy at the beginning of the week, but I think we can get them later on."

Raph rubbed his eyes and nodded. Hob would never do this for him. Hob was the one who let him starve in the first place, to the extent of eating...  
He shuddered at the thought of what he'd previously done and staved the thought off with another hot dog.

* * *

With the fire dead and morning gently filtering through the high up windows, Raph felt the warm embrace of Leatherhead's arms still around him. He was a mess. They were both a giant, tangled, heaping mess and he relished every moment of it.

"I have to show up at the shelter today. Make sure that my space is still reserved even after missing a night. They're strict."

The man shifted behind Raph and stretched, yawning loudly and examining the area.

"Do you need a tour or can you find your way around?"

"I'm good."

"Alright. I'll be back this afternoon only. Gonna go to the veteran affairs bureau and see if they can set me up with a job somewhere. Maybe a home, too. Hell, I'll take anything they can give me."

"Isn't that begging?"

Leatherhead's eyes flashed down to Raph, a finger pointing lighting fast in his direction.

"No. I served this country and Afghanistan for ten years. They should be paying me more than what they did."

"And what happened with that money, huh? Get lost?"

"You're real cheeky for a brat who just ate dirt."

Low blow. Really low blow. But he was touching nerves that shouldn't be even trod around.

"I spent it. That's all that matters."

Being set back in his place, Raph stood up, belly still full from the night before, and tried finding the nearest wall. Somewhere amidst his suffrage of the night before, he had lost his sunglasses. The sun was a welcome sight, but also one he wished would dim out. It had begun to spike a mighty migraine and he couldn't help but groan.

"What's wrong?"

"Light hurts."

He mumbled, backing up until his hand touched a wall. He clasped the other one tightly over his eyes and sighed.

"Just need sunglasses."

"Oh, so it's not just something that adds to your blind allure."

"Funny. No, they don't."

"Well I'll pick you up a pair then. For now, stay put, I'll make you a sandwich when I get home, and we'll talk about looking for your family when I come back."

Raph froze up at the thought but knew that he was in no condition to refuse.

"And if I see Hob, I'm going to pound him."

"Don't do anything! You know he's packing ammo!"

"I don't care," he hissed out, "I'm going to give him a pummeling that he deserves for not taking better care of you."

"Leatherhead, don't...please. Just come back right away. He's crazy."

A part of him wanted hob to pay for reducing him to what he was, but another part of him knew that he owed the madman his life. He still cared for him to an extent.

"We'll see. Now take it easy. I'll be back as fast as I can."

Nodding, Raph heard his footsteps fade until a metal door swung open...closed...he was alone.  
Sinking back against the wall, he felt his stomach gurgle in remembrance of what happened the previous night. The pain and agony.  
It was going to change. He'd known Leatherhead for about two months now and he'd been nothing but kind to him. Except the first time, when he ran into him having an episode of PTSD and was hiding from fireworks near his sewer entrance. Sighing in defeat, he retreated back towards the nearby sleeping bag and crawled inside, savoring the warmth.

* * *

Not even two hours had passed before he heard the door swinging open again. Mind hazy and head throbbing, he jerked upwards and stumbled back down as the sleeping bag limited his movement. Trying to get out of his confinement, he heard a bubbly voice calling out for his friend. Deciding that the voice was friendly enough, he rubbed the crust our of the corners of his eyes and yawned.

"Leatherheaaaad!"

"He ain't here." He mumbled back, "come back tonight."

"Dude! Where'd he go? I've gotta tell him the great news!"

The voice was familiar. Too familiar. Where'd it come from?

Argh, he was letting the light in...

"Dude, you're new! How's it-whoa, you're the guy who decked me from the pizza shop!"

The light was the bright teenager removing the sleeping bag from Raph's face. Groaning in protest, his hand reached out and took hold of it, trying to bring the darkness back to him.

"How d'you know LH? He's like the coolest!"

"Wait, you call him that too?"

"Yeah! He said some guy called him that name and I loved it! It's so genius! Oh my gosh, do you even realize how ingenious that was!?"

"Now I know. Leave me alone."

The words left his mouth before he even had a chance to stop it. In all honesty, he wanted to get to know more about this guy.

"No way! Klunk always come around here, I'm still looking for that rascal. He came by home for some wet food I set out for him and took off again before I could catch him."

Was he pouting? It was hard to tell, but he could almost hear it.

"I mean, Klunk can find his way home alright, I'm just worried..."

Raph stuck his head out of the covers to give him a firm glare.

"I'm going back to sleep."

"No way, dude, come on, help me look for him. I can't lose Klunk, too. Listen, help me out here and I'll...I'll bring by some pizza! How 'bout it?"

Raphael let out a groan and covered himself up again, the boy prying the covers off.

"Come oooon...stop being lazy."

With a final yank, he managed to pull Raph out of the sleeping bag, sprawled out and irritated.

"Great! Thanks! I owe you!"

Grumbling with a yawn, he scratched mustard off the corner of his mouth and winced as a few grains of soil remained in his mouth.

"Man, you reek."

"Thanks."

Rolling his eyes, Raph shoved his hands in his pockets and hunched forwards, trying to hide his entire body from the boy in front of him.

"Name's Mikey! Lemme guess, youuuuu're..."

"R-"

"Reek! Cause peeeee-yew you stink."

"Are you serious?"

"I could call you...mmm...you're super stinky...thin...blind...uh...your hair is really everywhere...hmm..."

Mikey toured around him and tapped his chin, "you're gloomy, too...what do they call you on the streets? What's your street name?"

"Are you seriously serious?" Raph's voice cracked.

"You think it's funny?"

"Dude. You named Leatherhead."

"Yeah, well..."

"And I know a Two-Toes and Pigeon Pete."

"Oh great, you know Petey..."

He groaned, dragging his hand down his face and frowned.

"Don't tell me you're on talking terms with that bird-brain..."

"Heck yeah I am! I give him bread!"

Raph's eyebrows furrowed. That's where he was getting his bread?

"You do that for him?"

He felt for Pete. He really did. He didn't deserve anything that came his way, but he loved Hob to death and it seemed that Hob really took care of him too. Or so it was just a child in his head, there was no way he could fend for himself. Maybe Hob saw that?

"My street name is Piss Off..."

Mikey exploded in laughter. The kind of laughter that was usually reserved for friends who had just told them one of the most embarrassing things to have happened to them.

"Wait, you're not kidding?"

"Piss off..."

That sent Mikey hollering louder than he should have. Heaving a heavy sigh, shoulders and rolling eyes included, Raph rolled his hand as if to say 'get it all out' and waited. Finally, too painfully long after, Mikey stopped and wiped the tears at his eyes, still giddy.

"Okay, okay, name change time. You're now Nightwatcher! Because you can't see, obviously, so you watch the darkness!"

"That hurts, lame brain."

Mikey froze up at the name, biting his lower lip. Raph sensed the tension in the air immediately and furrowed his eyebrows once more.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. No problem. My brother used to call me that. Weird. That's all. Hey, help me find Klunk and we can go grab some pizza!"

"I ain't going outside without sunglasses, but yeah, whatever. I'll help you look if you stop bothering me."

Mikey lit up instantly, face cracked in two in a smile, and nodded. Remembering that he couldn't see, he vocalized his happiness with a 'yeah!' followed by a fist pump and began to veer Raph towards the door.

"Okay, first of all, we're in a warehouse! Second, we're TOTALLY safe because we're in the cargo yard of said warehouse! Pretty cool, am I right?"  
Raph couldn't help but grin from ear to ear, keeping his eyes shut now as he felt his way out the door with one hand, the other resting on top of Mikey's.

"Yeah. Pretty cool."

* * *

AN : Thanks for the reviews!


	5. Cargo Yard

Cargo yard

"So, Nightwatcher, what's your secret to getting around?"

"Echolocation."

Raph replied nonchalantly. He had picked up a steel rod from the ground earlier and used it as his sight stick.

"Whoa, that's so cool..."

Ting.

Thunk.

Clunk.

The cargo yard was filled with crates and he had no idea how he would help this guy look for a cat in it.

"Yuh huh."

Mikey had buzzed ahead of him, peering around every corner before Raph could reach it. The previous night clung onto Raph's back still, but he tried to shrug it off with every time the squirt passed beside him excitedly.

"So I need to tell LH the good news that I finally earned my real chucks with my ninjustu training!"

"Chucks?"

"Nuuuunchucks, dude! Man, you're dense."

"Wanna run that by me again?"

"Glaaadly. You're-"

Raph's ears twitched and he quickly rushed over to Mikey and clamped his hand over his mouth. His eyes flickered from side to side, open wide as he tried to find the source of the very faint slithering noise.

"What's the deal?"

Mikey managed to pry free but Raph pulled him back in close against him, covering his mouth again.

"Someone's here."

The movement stopped abruptly, confirming that it had to be a person who overheard him. Backing away against a red crate, he slowed his breathing and held his bar out in front of him and Mikey.

"Come out!"

Silence. Mikey had followed Raph's every move, deducing that it had to be Raph's finely tuned hearing that allowed him to pick up on the movement before he could. Slowing his own breathing, he scanned the area bit by bit until he saw a piece of brown fabric sticking out from behind a blue crate about a hundred feet away.

"We should go, Nightwatcher..."

Mikey's desperation was palpable.

"I know."

"Like now. Follow me."

Mikey took hold of Raph's bar and took off on a sprint in the opposite direction of the fabric he had seen, leading Raph behind him. They turned down a narrow space between rows of crates and eventually turned into a dead end. Breathing heavily, Mikey turned to Raph, face pallid and shoulders heaving with each breath, and then further behind him to see a tall man in a brown duster coat.

"Hey, Piss Off!"

Raph froze, jaw clenched tight and heart stopping in his chest. But it wast time to be afraid. Not when he had the guy he was strictly off limits seeing standing right beside him.

"Where the hell have you been? Is this the same kid from the pizza place?"

"Get out of here."

"There's nowhere to go."

Raph saw a glint on Hob's hip and instantly knew that he had brought his guns. Squinting his eyes upwards, the gleam of a crate hit his eye. The shadowed outline told him it wasn't too high up.

"I'll hoist you up."

"Piss Off, what are you doing, hm?"

"Dude, no way! You know this guy? He's on wanted posters all over the city!"

Sensing the imminent danger, Raph turned to Mikey and pushed him backwards into a crate forecefully. Letting out an 'oomph', Mikey was about to protest until he saw Hob reaching inside his jacket.

"Oh, that's no good."

"I told you not to see this guy again."

"Climb up!"

Raph laced his hands together and knelt down, his heart beating faster and faster as he heard the crunching getting closer to him. Mikey's sneaker fit inside his hand and without a second's hesitation, Raph found all the strength of ten wild beasts to hoist his friend upwards. A curt yell later followed by grunting and Mikey had grasped onto the edge and begun hauling himself up. Raph pressed his back into the crate under him, reaching for his bar that he had dropped in vain hope that he could somehow protect himself. The gun firing was louder than Raph could have ever imagined. The bullet piercing the crate beside his head was louder yet.

"You wouldn't kill me, Hob!"

"Don't need to. Just gotta be enough to bring you back."

No, he couldn't go back. Absolutely not. No way in hell. He'd rather have Hob kill him on the spot than have to be dragged back down into that hellhole sewer system and rot there. What was next for him? Not dirt, but rats, maybe? Sewage waste? Drinking the actual water there?  
He was hyperventilating. It hadn't occurred to him until another bullet grazed his arm and pierced the crate behind him. Letting out an agonized yell, his steel bar fell from his hand as he grasped onto his wound and tried to stem the pain that had exploded from it.

"Dude, come on, take my hand!"

Mikey's voice cracked from above him. The act of camaraderie was enough to make Raphael smile, although fearfully.

"What are you waiting for, move it!"

Raph reached up with his bloodied hand, face pulled back in a grimaced. Fingertips brushing against each other, he tried his damnest to try and reach his friend. Hope was fleeting. He just wasn't tall enough.

"The bar! The bar!"

Mikey yelled as he thrust a pointing finger to the steel rod.

Raph quickly began looking around the ground for the bar he had dropped. Falling on all fours, he felt around the ground for what seemed forever before he found it. Another gunshot went off and Mikey let out a cry. Something inside Raph stirred. Not in a good way. His gut churned and before he even knew what he was doing, he was running headfirst into Hob, bar held high in his hand. As his shadow approached faster than he anticipated, he had no time to second guess what he was about to do. Bringing the bar down with all his might, he heard a dull crack followed by a string of curses. Another gunshot went off, ringing inside Raphael's head. He had no idea where it had shot off, but he managed to whack Hob a second time with his bar before the wind was knocked out of him. He was confused at first until Hob's foot stomped him a few times. The entire ordeal had begun to disorient him and the pain didn't help. He had tried his best to push himself off the ground, but Hob's foot had buried itself in his ribs and pushed him down once again.

"HEY! STUPID! LOOK HERE!"

"Mikey, no..."

Raph groaned and coughed as he looked towards the voice. Mikey wasn't standing on the crate anymore. Sometime during the beat-down, he had clambered back down. Forgetting about the mess of a teen beneath his feet, Hob began to make his way over to Mikey.

"You little brat."

Stones and other pieces of debris were hurled towards the man, creating enough of a nuisance to garner Hob's attention.

"Oh crud..."

"YOU!"

An all too familiar voice boomed and echoed through the narrow passageway.

"You stay AWAY FROM MY BOYS!"

Raph groaned and managed to sit himself on the ground. Leatherhead and all his military experience had barreled down the passage and tackled Hob to the ground from behind. Hands enclosed in a fist, he struck him behind the neck once and watched as he instantly fell limp and twitching. Turning to Mikey, he picked him up under one arm and made his way to Raph and scooped him up under his other arm and began a mad dash out of there.

"Heya."

Mikey waved to Raph with a weak smile.

"Are you hurt? Is he hurt? I can't see."

"He's a dimwit. He might have sprained his ankle."

"Ankle? You sprained your ankle?"

"Augh you're like Leo! Stop worrying! You're the one he beat up!"

Mikey, the annoying little brother type, was just that. The annoying little brother.

"Well, it sounds like Leo's got a reason to worry."

Raph's sides were on fire and he couldn't even feel the wound on his arm. He blamed it on adrenaline. He was more worried about sending Mikey home to his family and they not letting him out again. For some reason, he wanted to see the twerp again.

"Will you two shut up? Bonding time over, Mikey, I'm bringing you home. Raph, you're coming with me to bring him home. Then we're coming back here together. Got it? If you can't stay out of trouble, then you're following me everywhere!"

Leatherhead wasn't the least bit winded. In all honesty, Raph was surprised that he could even keep up with the running and carrying two teenagers at the same time. He definitely fell back on his training, but he could tell that he was worried, too, for their well being.

"Sorry..."

"Don't be sorry, that guy's no good. He's been hitting up the drugs for a couple of weeks now."

That would explain a lot, Raph thought. He felt his body sag and Leatherhead clench him tighter in his arm.

"We're here. You! Stay put. And you! You're a goddamn mess. Go shower."

"There's no shower, dummy."

Raph argued back, feeling rather small and useless. Leatherhead heaved a ragged sigh and set them both down but never letting go of either their arm or shoulder.

"Yes, there's one out back. One of these warehouses must have been a butcher shop. There's a shower attached at the back to wash off all the blood. Now seeing as half this cargo yard still functions, that should too. Go wash up. Change in these clothes; and we're going to wrap you up and bring Michelangelo home."

"Aw, no fun..."

"I'm not a fun guy."

Leatherhead gave Mikey a stern glare and plopped down on a nearby chair, letting the man take a look at his foot.

"Leatherhead."

Raph called, feeling suddenly very useless next to the tall man. Clenching his jaw, he stood still and crossed his arms.

"I'm blind, remember? I don't know where it is."

Letting out an aggravated sigh, he stood up and escorted Raph to a chair and sat him down, both hands on his shoulders.

"Don't move for now while I check his Michelangelo's foot."

"Michelangelo?"

"Right here, dude. That's me."  
Raph dug the heels of his palms in both eyes, pushing aside the pain that began to wrack his head.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine. I need those sunglasses."

He shot back, angry at himself. The blindness and migraines was getting increasingly frustrating.

"Your arm is bleeding really bad..."

Mikey's voice was now tiny. That, too, infuriated him. He didn't want him to worry or sound like a child. In fact, he seemed to be almost too young to be involved with people like him, Leatherhead, and Hob. Slapping his hand around his arm, he clenched the wound shut and furrowed his brows.

"There."

"I'm not dumb..."

"Unfortunately."

"Will you two shut up?"

The exchange had begun to grate on the veteran's nerves. Raph could hear him heft something onto the ground beside him and then the rummaging of various items.

"What is that?"

"My old field kit. Includes a sewing kit, bandages, water, hard rations, and a bullet shell."

"A bullet shell?"

Mikey asked innocently, his blue eyes growing wide.

"Yeah. Every man on the field knows to save the last bullet for yourself. Mine was for...not me."

He concluded, the two teens knowing better than to ask further questions.

"Shirt up."

His demand was curt and unwavering. Raph listened to the instructions and heard a choked gasp from Mikey in the corner.

"That looks awful..."

Raph hadn't seen himself in a long time and shrugged off the comment. What he didn't know couldn't hurt. Except his ribs. And arm. Those hurt.

"Bah, a quick suture and you'll be fine."

Leatherhead had begun his work. First he washed the wound, then disinfected it, then the needle, and then the sutures went in. Mikey winced at every single one, but all Raph could feel was a slight tugging.

"Your ribs are bruised I think. Hurt to breathe?"

"A little."

"Give it a couple of weeks."

The air went stale without conversation. Leatherhead and Raph didn't mind, but Mikey's tongue burned with questions. He wanted to know more about why Leatherhead had shown up when he did. Why did he end up on the streets after being a soldier for so long. Why was Nightwatcher on the streets in the first place? And why the heck was he so darn stubborn?

"Done. Michelangelo, stay here while I bring him to the showers. We'll escort you home later on."

"Nah, man, I'm good. I can go home-ow ow ow okay, yeah, I'm good!"

"Dummy."

Raph scoffed, tossing him a small smile.

"What exactly did you do back there to Hob?"

Raph asked, Mikey turning to the burned man with a questioning look as well. A wry smirk crossed his face.

"I tried to not kill him."

"That is so cool."

Mikey nearly swooned, but Raph felt unease. Leatherhead was a great person, but for someone who was blind and living with him, those words weighed the heaviest in his mind.

* * *

AN: Iz ur the best


	6. Hamatos

Hamatos

Surf music played in the background as Leatherhead approached the front door of a flat, blue and yellow house. A radio sat happily on the hickory-tainted porch rails. A man had been gardening in the late afternoon sun and happily swaying his hips to the music as he dug a garden hoe into the soil, tilling it backwards with a mighty heave and began humming along. Cringing at the man's voice, Raph zipped up his hoodie as much as he could and shoved his sunglasses further along his nose; trying as much as he could to slink out of view. Shifting Mikey's weight on his back, Leatherhead stopped and turned his head to Mikey.

"This the place?"

"Yep. Hey dad!"

The figure spun around and let out an audible groan as he pinched the bridge of his nose with two fingers.

"Michelangelo..."

"Your son here was in a toss-up with our fellow...uh...kind. My name is Jesse Harley, affectionately known as Leatherhead by your son."

"I do that."

"He does that."

He confirmed with a wry smile, "a lot, actually...I thank you for bringing my foolish son home. My name is Yoshi Hamato."

A twinge of pain shot through Raph's brow and he rubbed it, frowning.

"No problem. He's got a twisted ankle, though. Needs some icing."

Yoshi shot Mikey a wide-eyed glare, Mikey shrinking behind Leatherhead's shoulder.

"And a stern talking to."

"Yeah, well, take him and keep an eye on him."

"It's not like I don't try, believe me..."

Yoshi sighed, taking hold of his son as Leatherhead gently set him down.

"I do."

His reply scrawled a smile across his weathered face as he hugged Mikey close to him now.

"He was supposed to be at a friend's house this afternoon."

"I was! I was with LH!"

Sighing once more, he began escorting Mikey to the porch and turned off the music.

"Would you like to stay for some lemonade and perhaps cake? We had celebrated Michelangelo's birthday only yesterday and we have some leftovers."

Leatherhead looked down at Raph and saw him shaking his head no. Of course he didn't want, it'd mean he'd have to stay and actually talk to people.

"Sure. But it can't be for long. We have a curfew at the shelter."

Out of irritation, Raph drew the folds of the hoodie close together and let out a groan. Leatherhead was definitely lying, but it wasn't the kind that he wanted to hear. He wanted to go back to the warehouse, crawl under the blankets, and sleep forever away. It was already too much to have to be escorted to an unknown house in the now pitch darkness, he had to socialize?

"The young one not wanting to stay?"

"He's being rude, that's all."

"I have a migraine."

His voice muffled through the cowl, Leatherhead rolling his eyes.

"Kid's blind, light gives him migraines."

"Oh, I have just the thing for that. Some strong tea from Japan."

"Gross..."

"Be nice, kid, he's helping you."

Leatherhead gave him a light nudge, his glasses coming loose momentarily before he caught them and pushed them back up.

"Yeah, thanks..."

He mumbled, rolling his eyes behind the glasses.

"Can I show Nightwatcher my room?!"

"Mikey, I don't think-"

In his enthusiasm, Mikey hopped over to Raph and took him by his hand and began leading him inside.

"Stop moving like that, I can't follow you. Here-no-stop! Grr, Mikey, sto-"

Raph's words were cut short as he stumbled over the porch step and fell forwards on all fours with a loud thud.

"What're you doing, man? That's-oh...right."

"Blind. Yeah. Genius."

"Ain't me. That's Donnie. Wanna meet the others?"

"No."

Yoshi's eyes squared at Raph.

"Where did you find this child?"

"Oh the streets. Got his head knocked around a bit, so he can't remember who he is or where he belongs."

"Unfortunate."

Thin. Worn out. Ragged. Rough around the edges. He was just a child. With an aching heart, he watched the bickering between Raph and Mikey for a few moments and heaved a light forlorn sigh through his nose.

"Can you spare him a meal?"

Leatherhead's question caught him off guard. Turning to look at him, he saw Leatherhead twisting his hands together as he looked at Raph with a pained expression.

"I've been helping as much as I can but...it doesn't beat a hot meal. I know that much for a fact. Can he stay for a meal and I'll pick him up later?"

Yoshi's face was unmoving, but inside, a storm of worry was brewing for him and he couldn't help but mimic Leatherhead's expression after a few moments.

"Of course."

"Thank you. He's uh...going through a rough patch. I spent all day looking for services to help him out. I lost shelter privileges to secure a place for him at a youth center at least during daytime hours."

Quickly waving a dismissing hand at Yoshi's expression towards him, he continued, "but I've been hired back in the military as a recruiting officer. I'll have a home in a couple of weeks, but I like where I am. Him? Not so much."

They both turned to pair, Leatherhead shoving a hand in his pocket absent-mindedly. Mikey had tried to help pick Raph up and ended up leading him into the door frame, naturally earning him a string of curses.

"I'd like to invite the both of you to stay for dinner."

Raph was fine with his friends. He was with a caring family, was going to get hot food inside his belly, and this was a safer part of town, as he recalled. Smirking slightly, he shook his head and shrugged.

"You know...I said I would, but I actually can't, myself. I've gotta go tonight and settle a few deals first. More dangerous to leave them hanging. You'd be doing me a favor to keep the kid safe."

Yoshi nodded, though he disapproved.

"I'll care for him for a few hours. When will you be back?"

"In a couple of hours? Nine or ten tonight."

Glossing over the facts, Leatherhead watched as Raph had let Mikey lean against him as they went on inside with a disapproving sigh. He felt for the kid, but at the same time, he wished he weren't so stubborn.

"I'll be back."

"Aren't you going to say goodbye?"

"He'll try and follow me away. He doesn't do well in large crowds."

Leatherhead watched Raph until he disappeared out of sight and then gave a stern nod to Yoshi.

"If there's anything I can do for you, let me know."

"Duly noted."

Yoshi nodded back, his mouth twitching a bit in disapproval. There wasn't anything more he could do now than follow through on his word. Gathering up his gardening tools, he made his way to the patio and shut off the radio and took that in his other hand before entering the house. Of course, there was a huge hullabaloo over the new kid. He kept an ever watching eye over Raphael as he deposited Mikey on the couch, feeling it with his hand to judge the height.

"You weigh a ton."

"His diet consists of pizza and ice cream."

Yoshi noted Donatello speaking from the kitchen chair not too far away. Leonardo approached his father and gave Raph a sideways glance over his shoulder.

"Is it uh...wise? To bring a stranger into the house, father?"

"Do not turn away the needy."

"But the needy is in our house. What if he's dangerous?"

Yoshi looked down upon his eldest son and placed the radio on the ground, freeing up his hand to place on his shoulder.

"I have a hunch."

"Dad, no..."

"That this-"

"Stop it." Leo balled up his fists, "there's no correlation. No way. No how. He doesn't even look anything like him. He doesn't even sound the same. He's blind. He's scraggly and-"

"Leonardo..."

"Dad," Leo pulled his shoulder away from Yoshi and gestured both hands up horizontally, trying to prove his point. "Raph _died _that day. I keep telling you. You won't listen. A pipe bomb literally exploded above his head. Half the alleyway was gone. _He_ was gone."

"But look..." Leo turned towards the stranger in the living room and saw him feel around for a nearby chair before Mikey pulled him onto the couch beside him. "Yeah? What am I looking at?"

"Michelangelo hasn't been the same since your brother's death. Have you seen him so alive before?"

Leo focused on the scenario once again. Mikey had his arm draped around the stranger's neck as he excitedly spoke about the way he and 'Nightwatcher' escaped a crazed hobo and how they both got hurt trying to save each others' butts. Unease tightened his stomach as he turned back to his father.

"Getting in trouble is good?"

"He would only get in trouble with-"

"I know, I know, but he's dead. As dead as..."

Yoshi puffed out his chest, challenging his son to continue. He knew that his statement wounded his son; this stranger was no replacement for his brother, but he had no right to use his wife as an allusion.

"I do not believe your brother is dead. Do you?"

"Yes. I saw it."

"But do you feel it?"

Leo bunched his shoulders and slackened them, hanging his head a bit. He didn't. But he couldn't have such false hope. His body was blown to bits from the pipe bomb...

"Give this boy a chance. He remembers nothing. Perhaps we can somehow job his memory..."

"Dad, no. I'll be nice, but he's no replacement for my brother. For your son."

Leo was firm. Walking back towards his other brothers and the stranger, he felt the tightness release from his chest and suddenly bubble into an unexplainable happiness. What if his father was right and this was Raph?

"Hey, guy, what's your name?"

"Uh..."

"Nightwatcher!"

Mikey piped up, Raph giving a quick nod.

"Can't remember."

He finished, Donatello bringing his chair closer to examine the pair. He briefly made eye contact with Leo's stern eyes and backed off. He knew that look. Screwing up his face a bit, he shook his head and shrugged. Upsetting Leo when he felt threatened was definitely not a good idea.

"So, what do you remember, huh?"

Leo asked, leaning his back against the patio door in front of the couch and staring at the mess of a teen in front of him. Raph could feel his underlying scorn.

"I remember how to not be rude."

"Wanna say that to my face?"

"Sure, come over here."

Raph went to stand but was quickly yanked back from the wrist by Mikey. Letting out a yelp of pain, he growled and felt his neck growing hot.

"Let him go, Mikey, maybe he's asking for it."

"Dude, he got _shot_. Stop being so freaked, he's cool. He saved my butt."

Leo clenched his jaw and let out a stream of air from his nose.

"I guess I owe you a thank you then."

"No problem. Someone's gotta watch out for him."

Everyone in the room froze for a moment as the stranger gently pushed Mikey to the side with a smirk. Donnie was the first one to shoot up, knocking his chair over in the process. Everyone turned towards him, his eyes wide and mouth gummed shut, and watched him pick up his chair before letting out a single forced chuckle and disappear upstairs.

"Dude," Mikey began, his eyes turning to Raph, "I've never seen Don so freaked."

"What happened?"

The other two remained quiet and only exchanged quiet looks.

"Hey, bird brains, what happened?"

"Nothing. Nothing happened."

Leo found his voice and followed after Donnie, leaving the other two alone.

"Dude." Mikey placed a hand on his shoulder, "go shower. They realized how bad you stink."

"Knock it off."

"Come on, bro, this way to the shower. You smell like sewer water."

"Hey..."

"I'll get you some old clothes of ours stashed away! And burn those. I think it's growing green stuff on it..."

Raph pat out his pant legs and frowned. Maybe he did smell? He had been living in a sewer until recently, after all.

* * *

"There. Fresh as daisies! Oh, here!"

Raph's hair dribbled water into his new, red t-shirt. From the corner of the room, he heard a loud noise going off and then Mikey shouting, "over here!" Feeling his way about the large bathroom, a sudden burst of hot air shot through his hair. He ran his fingers through his freshly washed hair and felt it literally squeak with cleanliness. Mikey had gone circles around him with a comb to properly dry out every section of hair, his tongue sticking out as he hummed beneath the noise. Pushing his head downwards so he could properly reach, Raph slumped his shoulders and kept his eyes closed, guiltily enjoying the touch. The steam from the showered had helped with his migraine, and for the first time, he actually felt relaxed. A few moments of the intense heat drying his mane and the blow dryer turned off.

"Feels great, doesn't it?"

"Actually, yeah. It does."

He murmured, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands. It was no time to get sleepy, but he couldn't help it.

"Oh, hang on. I'm no good with scissors, we can steal these from Donnie."

Opening the mirror, he pulled out a hair elastic and then stood on the toilet for the extra height while being careful of his foot. Pulling Raph close, he combed his hair back and tied it into a high ponytail, letting Raph tighten it the rest of the way.

"Thanks."

"Anytime, bro."

Mikey, standing at the perfect angle for Raph to get a blurred vision of, was smiling from ear to ear.

"I think...that shower made my eyesight somewhat better."

He waved his hands in front of his eyes as he tilted his head up towards the light. Squinting at it while turning his head this way and that, he could make out a clearer shape of fingers.

"Well I'll be damned."

"Your scars are pretty awesome."

Mikey traced his forefinger against a series of scars along the back of his neck and arms. He stopped at Leatherhead's handiwork on his new bullet wound and he frowned.

"LH is gonna pick you up soon, isn't he?"

"What?"

"Oh..."

"Where is he?"

"He uh...he left."

Eyes wide and heart stopping, Raph pushed past Mikey and out the door, his scrawny arms taking hold of the upstairs banister.

"LEATHERHEAD!"

Mikey frowned, obviously disappointed. He buried his chin into his shoulder as he rubbed his arm.

"LEAAATHERHEAAAD!"

His face screwed up in a sudden panic and he shot back to turn to Mikey.

"I trusted you!"

"He's coming back. Dad said he'd watch you for a while. Just until he comes back."

"Are you fucking nuts? He's going after Hob! Leatherhead's the kind of guy who will get himself into trouble for another person!"

Raph yelled, banging a fist against the banister. Stumbling backwards, he tried finding a wall to take hold of and find his way to the stairs. Mikey watched, not wanting him to find his way at all, and waited until Yoshi came running up the stairs and took hold of him.

"Be calm."

"He's going after Hob! He can't go after him!"

Yoshi took hold of Raph's shoulders, holding him back from trying to take off. His mind was in a state of chaos and panic and Yoshi felt sadness for him.

"He will be fine when he returns."

"No he won't! Let go of me! Let go of me!"

He tried pushing Yoshi away, his breathing quickening with every flail.

"Mikey, please! Please, you know Hob is dangerous!"

Mikey's face fell and he flew over to Raph and wedged himself between him and his father and instinctively wrapped his arms around Raph.

"I know, bro, but LH is trained soldier. He'll be smart about it."

Yoshi backed away, trying to keep his emotions in check. Raph froze at the touch, both hands resting on Mikey's arms as he stopped trying to push him away. No matter what, his chest kept heaving up and down in panic.

"He's come back from war. One guy messed up in the head won't take him out."

His words brought tears to his eyes. He wanted to believe him, but at the same time, he knew Hob. He lived with him.

"We'll go eat supper and then I'll wait with you for him. That sound okay?"

Raph's chin quivered briefly before he pulled Mikey close and nestled in his shoulder.

"Hob's gonna kill him..." He mumbled quietly into his shirt, "and it'll be my fault."

"Hell no. LH is tough. He'll be back. I promise."

He wasn't as reassured as he hoped to be, but nodded nonetheless and pulled away sullenly. Yoshi's gentle hands rested on his shoulders once more and squeezed them tight. From a darkened room, door opened just a crack to peer through, Donnie and Leo watched the entire scenario unfold with grim faces and they exchanged questioning looks.

"But for now, boys," Yoshi's eyed laid upon the two hidden boys and then back to the ones in front of him, "it's time to eat."

Raph wasn't hungry. He wanted to run and find his friend but Mikey promised him it'd be alright. It wasn't reassuring, but he had to trust in that only. Yoshi began leading Raphael down the stairs, letting him test the footfalls before committing to them.

"What do you think?"

Leo asked, Donnie seemingly shriveling up closer to the door and shaking his head.

"I don't know."

A frown tugged at his lips, "I don't remember his voice anymore. Just his yell. I can't tell."

It was Leo's turn to pull his brother into a tight hug. Donnie was sensitive. He spent hours after school crossing the yellow tape to dig through debris in search for remnants of his brother. Leo had to always bring him back home when the street lights came on and talk sense into him. He had stopped after a couple of months of searching. Amongst the debris and rock and soot and shrapnel, he didn't find so much as a scrap of cloth belonging to his brother. Mikey had been in full-blown denial.

"I don't like Mikey calling him bro."

Donnie spoke softly, pulling away and turning to see Mikey staring at the pair from the hallway. Leo looked up at his baby brother and frowned.

"Me neither...but let him."

Donnie sighed. It was Mikey's way of coping, he guessed. Whether he knew it or not, he had been calling him bro, and it seemed to bring out the baby brother they once knew.

* * *

A violent hunger pang drummed against Raph's stomach as the delicious aroma rose to his nose.

"I hope you're hungry."

Raph could hear the smile in Yoshi's voice.

"Starving..."

He admitted, Yoshi's frown deepening. Mikey lead him to the table and stopped short of it. The table had accommodated four people only; him, Leo, Donnie, and his father. It was only recently that they had put away the other two chairs at Yoshi's behest.

"Uh, hang on. Lemme get the guest chair."

Yoshi watched as he left Raph's outstretched hand hanging in the air as he took the extra chair out from the guest room and tucked it neatly under the table. Retaking the hand, and suddenly feeling silly for leaving it outstretched for so long, Mikey led him to the new chair and allowed him to sit, quickly sitting beside him. Leonardo and Donatello soon took their seat and looked over at Mikey a sense of discouragement.

"He shouldn't sit there."

Leo confronted immediately.

"That's not his spot."

"Leonardo."

Yoshi warned, picking up a pair of serving chopsticks and began distributing the food.

"That is our guest's spot now."

Leo puffed out his cheeks but said nothing.

"Itadakimasu."

Yoshi had finished serving the food, now sitting and beginning to eat. The phrase was echoed by the other three and stuttered out by Raph. Next, his hands began to search for the plate and utensils. A short-lived chortle escaped Leo as Raph's hand plunged straight into a bowl of rice. Disgruntled, he pulled it out and wiped his hand over the bowl and earned another snicker. Apparently, the bowl wasn't a bowl anymore and he had moved over too much to the right and ended up wiping the rice into his cup of tea.

"Leonardo..."

"What?"

Blushing, Raph wished that he had his hoodie back to hide inside, regardless of the smell.

"We do not laugh at our guests."

"Here, look, this is your bowl of rice."

Mikey had jumped to Raph's rescue in a heartbeat. He took Raph's hands in his own and began moving them to each item on the table.

"A bowl of miso soup here. Your plate is here with fried fish here, there's steamed buns here stuffed with..."

"Pork." Yoshi nodded, Mikey nodding back with a huge grin. "And some yakisoba noodles! Oh, chopsticks...uh, hang on."

Within moments, he had gotten up, grabbed a fork, and placed it in his hand.

"And there's tea here."

"Ginseng." Yoshi spoke out once more, beaming with pride for his son.

"Right. We all drink tea here. Okay, that's about it."

"Thanks, Mikey."

"Anytime, bro."

Donnie felt his gut churn. He wasn't happy, but at least Mikey was. He was glad to see him improve so drastically, but now he felt himself wither in his seat. Yoshi picked up on it right away and sighed. When he had lost his wife, grief had overwhelmed him for a very long time. At the loss of his second oldest son, it felt like an old wound torn anew but this time, he knew how to treat it. This time, he had to be strong for his sons, whose turn it was now to grieve deeply.

* * *

The rest of the meal was eaten in silence except for when Mikey had subtly guided Raph's fork to the food on his plate or hand to his tea. Yoshi had excused the boys from clearing the table and allowed them to go off on their own. Immediately, they all went back to the living room and turned on the TV.

"Krognar the barbarian is UH-mazing, Nightwatcher, you should totally listen in."

It was Donnie who led Raph now. Mikey nearly leapt from chair to couch and knelt over the headrest, his chin resting on both knuckles.

"It's so totally cool."

The far-away voice bothered him and Raph uneasily jerked his hand away from Donnie.

"Just trying to help."

"Yeah, uh...sorry."

Sighing and rolling his eyes, he took him by his elbow and guided him down the step and onto the couch before finding his place in the nearby lazy boy. Leo took a seat next to Raph and crossed his arms before leaning over the armrest of the couch.

"I don't like you too much."

"What the hell'd I do to you? You've been a sourpuss all night."

"Yeah, Leo. You're better than this."

Mikey chimed in, crossing his arms in mimicry of his older brother. "Nothing. Watch the show."

"Oh, I see. You still think he resem-"

"Mikey, I'm gonna pound you."

"His name isn't taboo!"

Mikey shot back, his cheeks growing hot with rage. "Yes it is!" Leo jumped up, "and you shouldn't be treating him like a replacement!"

"Well this is awkward."

Raph stood up and squinted his eyes around the area.

"I'll wait for Leatherhead outside."

"Wait, no, don't go!"

Mikey grabbed onto his wrist, growing frantic. Hesitantly, Raph took it back and shook his head. Donnie, quiet as ever, looked over at a nearby umbrella and went over to pick it up. Placing it in Raphael's hands, he peered into his eyes.

"Don't take it the wrong way. You gotta leave us alone."

"How am I supposed to take that any other way? I'm going to borrow your porch to wait for Leatherhead." He looked at Leo's general direction and furrowed his eyebrows.

"And out of your way." He added.

"Good."

"Fine."

Knowing why Donnie had placed the umbrella in his hands, he began using it to navigate his way to the front door. The October air had grown slightly colder than usual at night, and now he really began to wish that he had his hoodie once more. His umbrella hit a step and he took a seat, leaning his head against the post and closing his eyes. The warm food had settled nicely in his stomach. It was a far cry from the grass he ate. The only thing he wished was that he realized sooner how much they actually didn't like him.  
A large cover draped around his shoulders and then a warm body settled next to him.

"It's cold tonight."

"Mikey."

"That's m'name." He replied with a smile. Without the aid of light, the world around him was completely black. He couldn't tell where his shoulder was or his hand. "Thanks for

that back there."

"No problemo, friendo. Leo's on edge. So's Don."

"Eh, they'll get over it eventually."

"Why do you say that for?"

Raph shrugged and pulled the cover closer to him.

"Unfortunately, I don't feel like losing a good friend over their egos."

Mikey's eyes widened as his face split into a large grin. Wrapping his arms around Raph once more, he rested his cheek on his shoulder.

"Thanks, bro."

"Been saying that all day."

"You mind?"

"Nope."

Raph smiled back, his heart burning in his chest. He was happy. He was so very happy in that moment, that he wished it wouldn't go away. He finally felt as if he belonged.

* * *

AN: R&amp;R and enjoy!


	7. Cake Wars

Cake Wars

Raph awoke to a warm bed beneath him. Not a makeshift bed, but a real bed. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and felt a mass beside him. It was still dark and so his eyes had nothing to focus on. Creeping out of the bed, he felt two hands grasp onto him briefly and he pushed them away. In the darkness, his hands touched upon every corner and smooth surface until wood textured under his fingers. Where there was wood, there was a handle, and with a slight turn of it, he opened the door with a quiet swing and crept out. Breathing as lightly as possible, he listened for the sounds of other people and signs of where he was. Potentially back in the house, but what of Leatherhead then? Reaching out blindly as he walked forwards, toeing his way in front of him before committing to the step, his bony hand fell upon the familiar banister once more and he held steady. At least he was somewhat oriented now. With the banister in front of him, that meant that behind him was the long hallway, and nearby should be the stairwell, right?  
Turning around, he began his toe-hand search as he advanced. Right foot swept for anything beneath his feet and hands arced out for anything in front of him. He never had gotten used to the complete darkness of nighttime. Mainly because he slept through it until it was bright enough to see his shadows, or unless Gecko led him, but rarely alone. In all honesty, it scared him. His hand fell upon another wooden door, and he turned that handle too. Sticking his head inside, he heard light breathing followed by sleepy snores and shuffling. Someone's room. He gently closed the door and continued on his way. Not even a foot apart was another door, and he could only guess that, too, was another room.  
Opening it slowly, he waited until he heard breathing before proceeding. After a few moments of nothing, he stuck his foot inside and slowly crept towards the center of the room. Feeling the air to the side, his hand came in contact with something plastic and heavy. Reflexively, he backed up to stumble over something metallic and heavy behind his ankles. He caught himself on a cold edge nearby, his shoulder slamming into the wall and causing a clamor of more metal to hit the floor.

"What are you doing here?"

The voice froze him to the spot. In trying to recuperate, he stood up abruptly; his head slamming against the corner of a wall mount. Letting out an aggravated growl, a migraine suddenly spiking to dangerous levels out of the blue, he stopped moving until he felt someone tugging his arm. Raph dug his toes into the carpeted floor with every stumbled step until the two hands began checking his head for any wounds.

"Who is this?"

"Leonardo."

Came the curt reply. A frown tugged at Raph's lips as he tried pushing him away.

"What's the deal? Where am I?"

"In my dead brother's room. Get out. Sensei said you could stay the night, but not in here."

Accepting the answer, he stuck up a hand and felt Leo's face, feeling his eyebrows had been knit together in anger and jaw tensed up.

"Where's Leatherhead?"

"Dad's taking care of him."

"What do you mean?"

"Your friend got in a knife fight. He's fine, before you fly off the handle. He's in the guest room downstairs. His stomach is cut open."

Raph began to shake. He knew something bad would happen to him.

"If you promise to not freak, I'll bring you to his room."

Without missing a beat, Raph's head bobbed up and down. Letting out a sigh through his nose, Leo took Raph's hand and placed it on his shoulder and began leading him out.

"You came into my room."

"Sorry."

"Don't be. Don's been watching you all night too. Mikey's too trusting."

Raph pursed his lips and felt another hand on his shoulder. "It's Donatello."

"So all night, huh?"

"Hey, man, you'd do the same if a stranger were in your house. We're just watching out for Mikey."

Don finished. It didn't surprise him, honestly. There'd been nights where he had watched over Gecko and Pete for the sake of Hob not doing anything to them. Of course, that was before when he was fifty pounds heavier and not so damn tired all the time.

"Stairs."

Leo spoke, snapping Raph out of his thoughts and taking them on one at a time. Within moments, Raph could hear heavy breathing with a wheeze of exhaustion.

"He doesn't look too good..."

Donnie whispered, Raph letting go to examine his friend. He felt around for his face, twisted in pain, and he then tapped his finger down along his torso until he felt bandages.

"It's full of blood...I'll try and change it."

"Wait, no, don't. If it's stopping the blood from seeping out, you gotta keep putting more on."

Raph whispered back, "I had to do this once. I wanted to change it but it yanked off the scabs and stuff."

A choke escaped his throat as he was suddenly yanked towards Leatherhead and a hand around his neck.

"What the heck- let go of him!"

Donnie's hands instantly flew over to the man's closed fist around his guest's throat. Panic driven, he dug his heel into something soft and pulled back on both his wrist and fingers. The instant response was nearly lethal as Leatherhead let out a wail and released Raph, sending the two tumbling backwards. Groaning, Raph's migraine now in full bloom, Leatherhead stared at Donatello dead on before seemingly falling asleep again.

"He's...sleeping?"

Leo inched closer, prodding his shoulder with a childlike curiosity that was bound to get him in trouble. Donnie wrapped his hands under Raph's arms and helped him up carefully, resting his hand on his back.

"Let sleeping dogs lie, Leo. You too. You've done enough. You know he's here, now it's time for-"

"CAKE!"

Mikey's voice carried to the living room, his face coming into view as the fridge illuminated his carefree features. The three of them tensed up, expecting Leatherhead to wake up at any moment. The painfully loud noise of Michelangelo tearing open the tupperware and getting out four plates made them cringe all in unison.

"Will you be quiet!?"

Donnie snapped, Leatherhead snoring deeply now with a few groaning noises mixed in. Donnie's hands were warm to the touch, and Raph could feel himself growing sleepy once more now that he knew that Leatherhead was close. Not necessarily unharmed, but alive. If the family was taking care of him, then it didn't merit urgent care.

"Guys, you want a slice?"

Mikey asked, already serving heaps of cake on each plate before waiting for a response. Donnie let his head fall back and let out an irritated groan lasting all of three seconds before he pushed Raph in the direction of the kitchen. Once more, Raph's toe-arm sweep guided him out of harm's way until he felt a set of hands seat him on a chair.

"Here." It was Leo's voice? "Uh..."

"It's Leo."

Yeah, Leo, he confirmed. His command, however, was used to indicate a fork being pressed into his hand and closed around it.

"I guess we should all be Nightwatcher and eat in the dark, huh?"

"Mikey, that's really-"

"I think that'd be kinda cool."

Raph piped up, cutting Donnie off. He could feel his eyes upon him and so he shrugged.

"Just an experiment, you know? Mikey told me about his training and stuff. If you guys did any sort of ninjustu training, then you're like ninjas, right?"

The room fell silent, and honestly, Raph couldn't recall where he stumbled across that sort of information. It was Leo who had grown a keen interest in what he had to say now.

"Go on..."

"Well..." Raph smirked, "ninjas are masters of the shadow and night? So how about trying to just eat in the dark?"

"Is that a challenge, Nightwatcher?" Leo couldn't help himself. If it was a challenge, he had to beat it. He couldn't be outdone by this Nightwatcher stranger in his kitchen eating his cake. Well, technically Mikey's cake, but still. The ethics of the situation was that he couldn't be beaten by a stranger in his kitchen.

"You bet it is."

Something was riling up inside Leo. He couldn't place his finger on it, but it wasn't something new, per se. It was old...something blue...

"We're gonna get in trouble with sensei..."

"Relaaax, bro. Technically, we're ninjas. And what good are ninjas if we can't do some sneaking around?"

His cheeks hurt. Raph hadn't realized it, but he had been grinning like an idiot the entire time. He was having fun. He had his moment's panic, sure, but everything was okay. Now, he wanted to actually almost bond with these people? It was weird, honestly.

"Okay, okay, cake eating contest in the dark. Onetwothree GO!"

A scuffle of chair and scraping forks on plates and plates on table, in the darkness, Raph could only imagine the scene before him. The idea of it all was ridiculous. In the midst of it all, Mikey began laughing. The laughing turned to coughing and sputtering and soon it grew contagious. Donnie joined in closely followed by Leo and Raph, causing Mikey to laugh even harder for the sake of the situation.

"AUGH it's in my NOSE!"

Donnie suddenly cried out loud, Raph's forehead pressing into the table as he held his sides from all the laughter.

"Nightwatcher just-"

Mikey had called out, pointing an accusing finger at Raph. Tears jumped to Mikey's eyes as he smacked the table with his hand in uncontrollable laughter.

"Shh sh sh..."

Leo giggled, trying to contain himself and the others but it was definitely not going to happen. Just as the laughter had reached it's peak, the lights flickered on and everyone went dead quiet except for Raph. It took Mikey slapping a cake-covered hand over Raph's mouth to silence him until he realized that it had stopped.

"What is the meaning of this?"

With the lights on, the teenagers' faces turned red with trying to hold back laughter. Donnie's face was smeared with icing; Raph's forehead and hair smushed with cake; Leo's cheeks and chin covered; and Mikey's overall coverage of the dessert had made an impression on Yoshi.  
An impression.  
Holding back laughter of his own, Yoshi coughed a few times in attempt to clear his throat and pointed towards the nearby bathroom.

"Wash and bed."

"Let the kids laugh, I'm already up."

Leatherhead's gravelly voice came from the living room followed by him sticking an arm up in the air to demonstrate that he really was awake. Raph became hyper aware of the situation but couldn't help but giggle.  
Leatherhead, on the other hand, felt a smile tugging at one corner of his mouth. From eating dirt to eating cake, the kid he had blossomed into someone he barely knew overnight.

"Now."

Leo was the first to comply closely followed by Donnie and then Mikey, who took Raph by the arm and waist and pushed him forwards, giggling still.  
Wiping tears from their eyes, they each grabbed face cloths (except for Mikey, who grabbed an extra one for Raph) before filing inside the bathroom to clean themselves up.  
Yoshi, on the other hand, had begun snickering behind his hand the moment the boys were out of sight.

"Hey, Hamato."

Leatherhead called out, groaning as he tried to sit up as best as he could. Yoshi made his way over to him and stopped him from moving further.

"Are you in pain?"

"It's manageable. Was the kid doin' alright with the others?"

Yoshi's mouth curled up in thought first, then morphed into a smile.

"No, but perhaps because they just need some warming up."

"Right..."

He laid back down with a hiss and felt his wound. In the light, he could see it seeping lightly with bright red blood.

"I'll fetch-"

"Nah, change it in the morning. These kids are gonna kill me. Us."

"Not quite, but yes, they are a handful sometimes. As boys are."

"As boys are..."

Leatherhead repeated softly, his head swimming momentarily with the sounds of Raph laughing in the bathroom before he drifted off to sleep. Yoshi covered him up once more and returned to the slap-happy teenagers.

"_Yame_."

They all stiffened at once, the laughter stopping. Even Raph strangely knew that it meant he had to stop. After examining each of their faces from afar, studying Raph's a bit more closely, he crossed his arms.

"Due to the fact that we are housing guests tonight, you are excused from cleaning your mess."They were about to cheer until he cleared his throat rather quickly and added, "until morning."

"_Hai_, sensei!"

The three chorused, Raph nodding along. Satisfied, Yoshi allowed them each to make their way back to their rooms. Mikey tugged on Raph's arm until he entered his room with him and shut the door. Before he could ask, Mikey spoke up.

"I've got the futon here, you can sleep in my bed. 'Kay? Night, Nightwatcher! Don't watch the night for too long!"

Raph grinned and plopped backwards into the bed, not wanting to fight over it.

"It's always a long night for me, buddy."

Mikey answered back with an exaggerated yawn and tucked himself into his futon on the ground. Raph slipped under the sheets and felt his entire body sag with fatigue. He had barely realized that his headache had pounded the entire time until everything grew tranquil.

"Hey, Mikey?" Raph called out to him before he realized it, hearing the final sounds of everyone returning to bed. Another massive yawn was his reply.

"Yeah?"

"I had fun tonight."

Mikey positively beamed at the comment.

"Me too, bro."

* * *

AN: Reviews and favs after resubbing this in the right place. Thank u Iz uwu


	8. A Brother in Need

A Brother in Need

A hand smacked Raph in the face instantly waking him up. About to protest, a heavy mass had rolled onto him and sighed. Mikey, obviously, was the culprit. Torn between wanting to push him off and guiltily enjoying the closeness, he chose to yank the covers over the both of them and close his eyes.  
He had fun. Genuinely. They had hated him at first, and it was something he knew he could definitely get used to, but that was short lived. Instead, they accepted him and suddenly he was seven billion times less lonely.

"Am I squishing you?"

Mikey's voice snapped Raph out of his daydream and he found himself grinning instantly.

"You're heavy."

"That's okay. Didn't want you running off again..."

Mike's voice was muffled and forced. He was definitely half asleep still. Dumbfounded, Raph breathed out, "I'm not going anywhere..." and draped his arm around the small child protectively. Mikey let an airy laugh and drifted off once more. For some reason, this one phrase struck a delicate chord within him and he felt responsible. There was no rhyme or reason that he could think of, but it was as if he had somehow let him down-_disappointed_ him.

"Sorry."

He murmured back slowly, the words thick on his tongue before he fell back asleep.

* * *

Before the morning rays shone through Donnie's blinds, he had been awake bent over copies of evidence files. His paranoia had woken him up and he needed to calm his mind with solutions. Theories upon theories that were neatly filed away in his cabinet now lay spread out on his bed. There had to be something left of him, and he couldn't itch the scratch in his brain. There was something that he wasn't seeing-a missing component to the puzzle. There was no way Raphael Hamato survived the explosion yet he didn't want to believe it. He _saw_ it, for Pete's sake, there was no denying that he was nothing but ash and air that now circulated throughout New York city.  
Drumming his fingers on his desk, he reread the police report for what seemed to be the twelfth time that morning but still it arose no further questions from him. In all honesty, by all standards, it was a cold case. Unless they were to unearth new evidence, or encounter more witnesses that wanted to report, there was nothing left for him to look at.  
But that _infuriated_ him. There was something.

"I'm just...not good enough to find out what, yet, Raph..."

His eyes flickered over to a reversed picture frame and he let out an aggravated sigh. Rubbing his face with both hands, he leaned back in his chair and replayed the six month old scenario in his mind. Details had grown blurry. Edges of buildings faded and distorted in his mind and that, too, began to spike up a temper in him. Splitting his fingers so his eyes were now staring at the ceiling, he exhaled loudly and tried relaxing.

"It's right in front of my face but I just...can't grasp it..."

Rocking his chair on the just the back legs, he looked back at his paperwork and decided to put it aside for the moment. For now, a hot mug of coffee was what he needed to wake up. This stranger somehow unraveled him and his quest once more to find out where his brother was, or at the very least, his body. Everyone has their place on the earth. And Nightwatchers' was...  
Squinting his eyes and rubbing his chin, his new found hunch began to spike his obsession to find out once more. Where exactly _did_ Nightwatcher come from...? Launching himself back onto the four feet of his chair, his hand spun the picture frame around. On it was a photo of him and his brothers in their training gear. It was the day that he received his weapon of choice, a bo staff, to further his studies in. Beside him was Raph, strong and square, with his large hand resting on Donnie's shoulder. On his waist were twin sais of his own, and not too far off was Leo with his twin katanas. Obviously they were beaming with pride, being older brothers. Mikey was there too, positively ecstatic for him. A thin smile spread across his face at the memory. He was lucky that Raph was around to congratulate him on his achievement. Mikey had received his nunchucks with almost apathy without Raph in the picture. He wanted to wait until there had been some closure, but their sensei, their father, decided that it might help him begin the long trek of going on with life. Whether he was right or not, it was yet undecided. Though there was no happy picture of Mikey receiving his nunchucks like the other three had.

Donnie's brown eyes focused on Raph in the photo. Short hair, though it seemed darker than he remembered it to be. Green effervescent eyes. He had to be about a hundred and forty pounds at the very least, and it was all muscle. Raph wasn't built lean, he was built like a tank and had a hell of an appetite to fuel him.  
Replacing the photo back on the table, he crossed his arms and pursed his lips, unhappy with himself. He had forgotten a lot of the finer details, and the photo proved it.

"And Nightwatcher's features don't match."

He groaned out, letting his head drop backwards again with a sigh. Still, for some reason, something inside him seemed satiated. He couldn't put his finger on it, but he had no choice but to dismiss it. The facts were that they were not the same person. There was proof right in front of his eyes, and he had to believe in that alone. Anything else was just fanciful hoping. That and Raph wasn't blind. But Nightwatcher seemed to be situationally so?  
Another groan and he knew that he had to quit thinking. His brain began to hurt and everything began frustrating him.

Raph had remained by Leatherhead's side as to not get in the way, and sat on the floor with a bamboo sword in hand so he could navigate through the house if needed. He would have sat on the other couch or the lazy boy, but he was mentally preparing himself to go back 'home' soon.  
"You sure you're okay?" Raph asked Leatherhead a fourth time, chewing the inside of his cheek. Raising an eyebrow, Leatherhead looked down at Raph with an almost sorry look and nodded.

"'Fraid so."

"Alright. Yeah. That's good."

Raph scratched the back of his head and shut his eyes. It had cleared up some with the hot shower the day before, and he could now make out colors. It was almost overwhelming.

"Yeah. Superficial gash. Hob's found himself another friend to add to his posse."

Raph froze up and felt vulnerable. He hadn't left the house yet and he still found himself in a vulnerable position.

"You got that look on your face. Perk up, we're not getting tangled with them again."

"Hob found us in the cargo yard, Leatherhead. He knows where we live."

"And you know where he lives."

Raph shook his head.

"No I don't. In the sewers, sure. But due to certain circumstances," he pointed to his eyes, "I can't tell where."

"But can't you blind people like feel your way through life and stuff?"

Raph smirked halfheartedly.

"Yeah, I can't do that too well in a maze."

Leatherhead chuckled and leaned back in the couch, scratching at the new bandages.

"You lost your place in the shelter because of this, didn't you?"

"Yup."

His answer was too nonchalant for Raph's liking.

"But it'd be pretty irresponsible if I left you in that cargo yard on your own." The teen's lips pursed together as he tried hiding a grin. The older man saw through it instantly and chuckled, stretching out and then standing up.

"Alright, you ready to go soon?"

"Uh...yeah."

"No, huh?"

"I said 'yeah,' didn't I?"

Sighing, Leatherhead scratched at the melted skin on his head and grumbled a bit. Raph began picking at a splinter on the sword remorsefully.

"You don't wanna leave, do you? We don't belong here, kid. This isn't our home."

"I know..."

"So...let's leave this nice family alone, alright? Slip out while they're gone."

"No way, I can't do that to Mikey!"

Raph shot up in protest, staring directly at Leatherhead now with righteous indignation.

"He'll get upset."

"Kid, you won't have to say goodbye for now. That's all I'm saying. You can if you want to, I'll wait."

"Okay. Good. Yeah..."

Relaxing back in his position, he continued trying to break off the piece of wood once again.  
Coming back from training was an awful experience for the trio. Mikey had bruises all along his arms from the the training dummies hitting him back. Donnie and Leo had sparred with their weapons, so naturally were unscathed.

"It'd be better if I trained with Donnie..."

Mikey complained, "I wouldn't break his staff and we could hit each other. Leo would need to fight...Nightwatcher! Hey! You haven't left! Leatherhead, how's it goin'?"

Mikey bounded towards the two and wrapped his arms lovingly around Leatherhead first before sitting next to Raph.

"I'm glad! I was worried that you'd leave without telling us! You're too mysterious, Nightwatcher."

Raph threw the dirtiest glare he could muster at Leatherhead and grinned. Leatherhead let out something between a sigh and a groan and shrugged off the teen sass.

"Sorry, Mikester, but we are going."

"What!? Why? No, you have to stay!"

Raph felt his heart tug but forced a smile and wrapped his arm around Mikey.

"Well, Michelangelo, this is your home. Not mine. Me an' Leatherhead are gonna go back to the cargo yard. That's home for us."

"But...Leo, say something...!"

Leo and Donnie exchanged brief looks, trying to decide what to do next.

"Mikey..."

"No! Don't 'Mikey' me! Leo, he can't go!"

"This isn't his home," Donnie spoke up, his voice calm and unwavering. "It isn't their home."

He corrected himself, fatigue creeping into his voice.  
Mikey looked over desperately to Raph and Leatherhead and tried finding his voice.

"It is their home!"

"Michelangelo, I haven't had a home in nearly eleven years. I used to live with my mother. She passed. There is no home for me."

"And I kinda don't remember mine, so it might as well not be there."

"Right. So me an' the kid live together and we call it a home."

Leatherhead finished, Mikey getting weepy eyed on them.

"Way to go, Leatherhead..."

"What? It's true."

Leatherhead responded to Leo, earning a collective groan. Raph stood up and held out his hand, Mikey looking at it almost disdainfully before taking hold of it and standing up beside him.

"You know where to find us. If anything, you've been too nice to us."

"Yeah. Way too nice."

Leatherhead chimed in, earning another glare from Raph.

"So...we'll look for Klunk for you as repayment."

"But...okay..."

"There ya go. Come by whenever."

Mikey instantly teared up and wrapped his arms around Raph in a bear hug.

"Don't get into trouble..."

"Aw, when have I ever?"

Ruffling his hair with a free hand, Mikey hugged him tighter before letting go.

"This is your home too. Right guys?"

"He's right."

"Totally."

Leo and Donnie added, Mikey content enough to step away.

"Dude, I'll come see you every day."

"That'd be awesome."

"And I'll bring my bros."

"That'd be even more awesome."

Raph could swear he could see Mikey's smile through his shroud of darkness and grinned in return.

"There. Now we said goodbye, Leatherhead. We can go home now."

A painful chord struck within him as he felt the younger boy's presence step down to pick up his sword and Leatherhead wrapping a hand around his upper arm, Raph waved and felt his heart sink further.

"Thank you for having us."

"You are most welcome here any time. Our home is yours."

Raph startled at Yoshi's voice. He hadn't heard him walk in or make any sound for that matter. He felt his collar grow hot under what he could tell was the older man's gaze and cleared his throat, looking away.

"Nightwatcher."

"Yeah?"

Yoshi had immediately called his attention, making him slightly uneasy. Shoving his hands deep into his pockets and bunching his shoulders together, an eternity passed before Yoshi spoke up again.

"Take a jacket. The weather is getting colder. Please, at least take this."

A few moments later and a heavy coat fell upon his shoulders, catching him off guard. His fingers trailed along the smooth sleeves and felt every crinkle.

"Leather?"

"It will keep out the wind." Yoshi leaned down and gently helped him thread his arms through the thermal coated sleeves; then pulled a long, red, pleated cowl over his head. Stepping back, Raph tested the coat by bending his arms and patting down the front. Zipping it up carefully and then tugging it down properly, Raph felt a bulge grow in his throat.

"You sure? This is awesome."

"Yes," Yoshi affirmed, "we have extra clothing we have not used in a while. It is better for you to care for it than it waste away in a closet."

"Wow, thank you. I don't know what to say."

"Say you'll come by again for supper soon. Even Leatherhead."

"We'll see."

His reply was curt but effective.

"Take care of yourself. Both of you. And please, if you ever need help, call us."

Yoshi held out a pair of beaten up phones, the kind you give kids in case of an emergency with five buttons on it.

"They are pre-programmed with each others' numbers," Yoshi looked at both Leatherhead and Raph, "and the boys' and mine. It is yours to keep."

"Thanks, Hamato. Let's go, kid."

Raph nodded and waved to the general population before going off with Leatherhead, yanking the jacket tight around him and shoving his hand in his pocket with the phone, giving it a small clench of happiness.

* * *

A week had passed and Raphael had been sitting in front of a bucket of water alone; Leatherhead having gone to work for the third day in a row. His hands and face dripped with water and grime and he felt discouraged. He felt everything in that house; the touches, the food, the glares, the smiles, and he just missed one thing-sight. And it damn infuriated him that he couldn't see what the family looked like. Everyone kept telling him that it was temporary, but he wasn't so sure. And he _knew_ that he couldn't have been blind his entire life either. He knew what colors were. He knew who the freaking president was by face. So why now? Why couldn't he see what was more important?  
Dipping his hand inside, he scooped out handful after handful of water and rubbed it ferociously into his eyes. Gnashing his teeth, the beast of frustration growling deep within his chest. All he had managed to do was irritate his eyes and rub a headache into existence. Letting out a yell, he kicked over the bucket with his heel and listened as it clanged way away from him. Hunched over, he buried his head in his hands and let out a ragged sigh. It wasn't working and he wanted desperately now to see. Feeling sorry for himself would have to wait, however, when footsteps approached the warehouse. Standing up too quickly, he knocked over his sword and scrambled to try and find it again. As the footsteps neared, he could tell instantly that it didn't belong to Leatherhead and it was two people. Or a really sloppy walker.

"Whoa, it really is Piss Off!"

Raph instantly groaned and took a step back, tripping over his sword. Falling hard on his behind, laughter quickly ensued and he felt his face grow hot.

"What do you want, Petey!?"

Raph yelled, rubbing his sore spot as he picked up his sword. He sounded different. His words were slurred and loud. He never, ever, _ever_ spoke for himself either.

"Shut up, bird brains. Piss Off, you're staying with the enemy?"

"What? Mondo? How the hell did you guys find me?"

"Hob came by here. Said he found you here with that kid you weren't supposed to see and melty-head."

Petey _giggled_ at Mondo's description of Leatherhead and unease grew in the pit of Raph's stomach. This was not right.

"Why are you here?"

"Why aren't you at home? Why are you here with _them_?"

Mondo snipped back, Petey repeating "with them! With them!" thrice over. Raph, sword in hand, became very aware that he now weld a weapon against the very people who nursed him back to health. They seemed like different people. Gecko was someone who would fight for him, tooth and nail, and yet he was trying to coerce him back into that sewer hell hole?

"I like the sun a bit more than the smell of shit."He retorted, "and these people are better than Hob any day."

"Piss Off, come oooon! We have candy!"

"Candy?"

Raph's stance was defensive as he looked over to Gecko for answers. His knuckles turned white as they gripped harder onto the handle of the sword. He could hear one of them scuffle closer, knocking chairs and other knick knacks about as the approached.

"Don't get close! Stay there!"

"Piiiiss Off, look! It's candy! It feels sooo goood."

Raph heard the feet getting close and he swung out, striking a soft body. Gecko let out a screech and fell to the floor, writhing in pain.

"I'm going to tell you one more time, get out of here." He felt sorry for him, but at the same time, he couldn't let his place be compromised. He told Mikey he was allowed to drop by.

"Hoooob! Booooss!"

Petey had begun crying. Sobbing, rather. Whatever he...they...were on, it was doing everything but making them leave. The rest and relaxation he had received over at the Hamatos hadn't made him a hundred percent, but he was definitely able to take on Gecko and Petey now. He used to rely on Gecko to guide him, but it wasn't the case now. Now, he was a sobbing mess on the ground, literally writing in pain, screaming and wailing, and Petey just flailed around calling for backup.

"Look, guys, I feel bad...just leave, alright?"

"HOOOB!"

"Pete..."

"BOOOOOSS!"

He needed to be shut up. Racing forwards and stumbling everywhere, Raph seized Pete in one arm and covered his mouth with the other.

"Petey, get out of here. I don't want to see you here again, got-OUCH!"

Petey's rotten yellow and black teeth sank deeply into the webbing of Raph's hand, losing a tooth in the process. Letting out a panicked yell, lost somewhere in the strange world of colors and shadows, Raph cradled his hand close and kicked Pete away. He was deranged. Now he had two wailing figures rolling around on the ground in pain. Eyes wide, unable to believe what was transpiring in front of him, he quickly fell to his hands and knees, trying to find the bamboo sword he had dropped to make his way out of there and quick. They were whacked out. How could they get out on their own?  
Unable to find it, Raph had begun to crawl away from the foray. His movements were shaky, as was he, and desperate. He couldn't deal with these kinds of people. What if Hob was close? Why else would Pigeon Pete call out for him?  
Standing up tall and trying to stave off the want to run, he settled for speed wakling away from the two messy masses on the ground. Feeling something finally beneath his fingers, he trailed along it until a sharp pain brought about a warmth from his palm. Yanking it backwards, he felt warm liquid pooling out of it quickly and deducted it to be blood.

"BOSS!"

Growling, now beyond irritated, he was about to yell at Pete until he felt a weight in his pocket silence him.

"That's right..."

Wiping his hand clean on his pants, he reached in and felt the circular keys.

"I can call Leatherhead..."

Frowning, he was about to decide against it until he felt Pete's screeching close in on him. Preparing himself to counter the lunatic's antics, he held his hands out once more and felt Pete's entire body throw against him.

"Pete!"

"GOT HIM BOSS, I GOT HIM! BOSS!"

The two had tumbled around on the ground. Raph tried grappling Pete off him, which should have been more than easy, but he was crazy strong for some reason.

"Get OFF ME!"

He shouted, Pete's hand smacking against Raph's temple and angering his headache further.

"WAREHOUSE CARGO YARD, WAREHOUSE CARGO YARD!"

He kept repeating the same words over and over again in a sing-song and it bore a hole in Raph's brain. Then, a tiny voice, to his utmost horror, shouted "shut up!" and he knew that Hob had been warned somehow through a communication device. Through cell phone or some dingbat put-together radio, he didn't care. Hob knew that Raph was back and it meant picking up his life at the cargo yard and moving. Desperate, now, Raph tried forcing Pete off him with what little strength his muscles had left in them. Yelling in frustration at the vain attempt, he tried punching and kicking until a mass settled on his shoes. Well, the mass was sobbing and it further annoyed Raph that it had belonged to Gecko.

"Aw, come ON!"

"Piss Off is pissed off...he's pissed off!"

Between Gecko further breaking down in tears and Pete sitting on his chest yelling the same phrase over and over again, he felt whatever patience he had within him break. Raph yelled and thrashed around, trying to get the extra weight off him. Curse after sailor curse was flung their way until he was expended of energy. His breathing came laboriously and he tried his best to keep calm as a plan slowly hatched somewhere through the mist of his migraine.

"Listen, guys, just lemme go, alright? I'm gonna go with you if you get off me, alright?"

They had silenced, and now it further fueled Raph's anger.

"Come on, Petey, wanna get up off your ol' pal?"

"Boss said to sit on you if you tried to leave."

"Well, bird brain, why don't you try being your own boss for once, huh? Look, see? Look at my hand, it's bleeding. Can I go wash that? You know how bad cuts are out here,right Petey?"

"Nooooo...!" Gecko's voice wailed as he leaned further onto Raphael, totally unnecessary as far as Raph was concerned, and took hold of his hand. "He's gonna diiiie, Pete, _diiiiie_."

"Jeez, what did you guys even take?"

"_Candy_."

The corners of Gecko's lips turned up in a smile as gravity took over and now was laying completely on top of Raph. Growling, he turned his attention back to Pete. Footsteps resonated through the cargo yard and served only to quicken Raph's heartbeat.

"Come on, Pete, he's right. I'm gonna die if you don't let me wash the cut. Look, you bit my hand too!"

He struggled to have Gecko relinquish his sleeping spot on his arm and leered at him.

"Well, it's there. I think you even lost a tooth and it _really_ hurts, Petey."

"I'm not moving!"

He squawked back, earning more struggles and shoves from Raph. They were growing desperate with each passing moment and he could now hear the loose gravel crunching under someone's shoe. Mouth gaping in terror, he managed to free up an entire leg and his other arm from Gecko's weight and promptly kicked him off. The wide-faced boy howled in pain and curled up into a fetal position. Where he had struck, he didn't know, but now that he had leverage, he pushed off the ground with his feet and stuck a fist square in Pete's mouth. Beneath his fingers, he could feel teeth break off and it actually made him cringe a bit. As Pete stumbled backwards, Raph finished the job and kicked his stomach before turning around and taking off in a sprint, begging whatever God there was to make him actually make it out of the warehouse. As he ran, he kicked up pebbles and rock so he could hear if it hit anything in front of him to ensure he wouldn't run straight into a crate. Unfortunately, the moment he heard a yell, he turned his head back and ran headfirst into one anyways. It clamored with the might of what seemed to be ten thousand thunder gods, Raph groaning as he tried to recollect himself. Shaking his head clear of the fuzz, hand on head and eyes shut tight, the walking footsteps had turned into running and he knew that he should do the same. Rushing forwards and slamming a few more times into crates, he quickly felt his energy diminish and he became disoriented to his surroundings.

"Would you STOP?"

His body jerked forwards and everything came to a halt.

"It's me!"

Me...me...

"Uh, Leonardo?"

"Yeah, that's-"

Another loud wail emanated from the warehouse and Leo turned to look back at the place. Raph's breathing was ragged and sweat poured from his face, but he was glad to have someone on his side now. Bending over his knees, he wiped at his chin and tried evening his breathing again.

"Is that a tooth in your hand?"

"Long story...we should get out of here."

"PIIIIISSS OOOOOFF!"

"And that's Hob. Let's go."

Raph reached out to Leo and grabbed whatever he could and began to lightly jog away. Understanding the urgency, Leo took hold of Raph's hand and they took off towards the residential streets of New York.

* * *

AN: Thanks for the reviews and watches! This chapter feel a little everywhere. Sorry about that.


	9. Family Insurance

Family Insurance

"Ouch, hey! Gentle!"

Leo had brought them to an underpass where he pressed his training towel against his sliced open hand. Overhead, a train passed and rumbled the earth beneath their feet, sending pebbles cascade over both sides of the asphalt.

"Who the hell where they?"

"Old roomies-ow!"

"This is disgusting, you have two teeth in there."

Leo face pulled back in sheer disgust as he pushed against the wound to pop out the teeth, Raph held back a growl of protest.

"Oh ew...they're black...you should get that checked out...and this...oh man, these are disgusting..."

"Thanks for the save. I don't know my way around here yet."

"Oh, is that why you ran headfirst into crates?"

"Funny."

"It was."

"Know what else is funny?"

"Your face?"

"You need stitches."

Raph's groan turned into a grunt as Leo tied the towel tightly around his hand.

"Leatherhead can do those."

"Don't you think it's time to see a doctor?"

"Oh gee, you gonna pay for me? How the hell did you find me anyways?"

Leo sighed and pulled out his water bottle; unscrewing the top and giving it to Raph to drink from.

"Pretty easy when you pocket dial me and some guy is yelling at the top of his lungs. FYI, we live close by. I was looking for Klunk."

"Mikey's cat? That's why he popped by that one time..."

If they didn't live far, that meant that when Mikey dropped by the first time, it wasn't as big a hassle as he had thought.

It wasn't far.

They weren't far.

A spike of excitement grew in his stomach and he wanted to cheer. He thought they had lived in the downtown core or nearer to there. Not out near the border of the industrial and residential area.

"It's the only way we were able to have a dojo built."

"That's kinda cool. How has Mikey been anyways? He was devastated that I had to leave."

"Wouldn't you be if your friend was going to get beaten up and need stitches?"

"Uh..."

"Yeah. He's devastated."

Leo stated as he pursed his lips and looked around. Raph frowned and leaned back against the cement wall.

"Well...he could have visited. I don't know how to get there."

"Yeah, well, today's the day you can come see him again."

"Not like this, hell no."

"You need to clean your wounds before they get infected and proper stitches."

He stressed, Raph rolling his eyes and shrugged.

"Unless you're willing to pay..."

"I will. We will. I'm going to ask dad-"

"Leo, no-"

"Shut up. It's only urgent care stitches, you don't need to go to the hospital or anything. You need what, five? Six stitches? We have pretty good insurance and-oh, hi dad. I found the infamous Nightwatcher in trouble. You think we can bring him to urgent care for stitches?"

"What's going on? You're on the phone? When'd you get on the phone?"

"He's angry. Think you can pick us up?"

"Leo, no, stop! I-"

"He wants to talk to you."

Raph froze, hand mid-air as he wanted to try and swipe the phone away from Leo a little too late. Pulling his hand back, he shook his head and mouthed 'no' to Leo. Sighing, Leo rolled his eyes once more and with the push of a button, enabled speaker phone.

"Dad, you're on speaker."

"Does that mean he can hear me?"

"Yyyup."

Leo was too proud of himself for his own good and promptly placed his hand on his hip in display to do so.

"Nightwatcher?"

"Uh, yeah. That's me."

"AKA Piss Off..."

"Piss off..."

Raph grumbled, Yoshi clearing his throat.

"What happened?"

"Uh...there were a few guys I used to live with for a long while. They want me back, but I think they're doped up on something. I tried getting away and uh...it got sloppy."

He felt himself flush at the explanation.

"And I'm fine." He added quickly, holding his hand close to him and throwing Leo a disdainful look.

"Your towel is almost full of blood and-"

"Blood? What's going on?"

"He's hurt and won't let us help him. I gave him a small towel and his hand it's bleeding a lot, it's almost soaked through."

"Keep his arm elevated above his heart. I will come pick you up. Where are you?"

"We're close to home near the cargo yard at the underpass. Uh, the one where we can see the huge billboard advertising the toothpaste."

"Alright, I will be there in twenty minutes. Are you unharmed?"

"I'm fine, dad. Just picked this guy up and bailed out of there."

"Good. I'm getting in my car now, don't move. I'll come pick you up. Are you hidden?"

"Not really. People can see us only from across the fence."

"Alright, do you need me to stay on the phone until I get there?"

"No, no, it's okay. We'll be fine. Thanks, dad. I'll text you every five minutes."

"Thank you. I'm hanging up now."

"'Alright. Bye, dad." Leo hung up the phone, Raph frowning even more deeply as he hung up the phone. He was envious. Jutting out his lower lip, he pulled his knees close to his chest and stared at him angrily.

"What?"

"You didn't have to do that."

"Yes, I did. Now keep your hand up, broody monster."

Raph waved him off angrily but he wasn't going to take any of it. Taking hold of Raph's hand in his, he squeezed it tight ad held it upright, earning an 'argh' from Raph.

Envy.

That was the right word to use for him. He felt envious that someone could care for him. It wasn't fair that no one would ever do that for him.

"Hey, why don't you call Leatherhead and let him know what's going on?"

Leo suggested, wrapping his other hand around the mess in his opposite hand and giving it a tight squeeze. Wincing briefly, he reached for his phone and flipped it open.

"It's not such a big deal..."

"Well, if that's what you think, we can just bring you back to the warehouse with the screaming lunatics and you can have tea together, sounds good?"

"Peachy."

He grumbled back, Leo unimpressed his his sudden onset of apathy. Struggling with one hand to find the right dial. The letters illuminated the screen but there was absolutely no way to tell who was whom except by trial and error. Leo watched as he brought the screen closer to his nose and then further away, trying to at least discern the length of characters.

"Third one. My number is the second, Don is first. Here look, click down," Leo let go of the towel with one hand and helped him press down twice to land on the third number, "and press the center button."

Helping him with that too, the phone began ringing and fear and guilt grew in the pit of Raph's stomach as Leo went ahead and put that on speaker too.

"How the hell do you...work...hello?"

"Leaaaatherhead, hey."

"Oh cripes, what'd you do?"

"Weeellll...we can't go home. Pete and Gecko are there and Hob might be too? Sooo we gotta move."

"Aw fer chrissake, kid, you really had to live with those shit heads? Where're you going to go now?"

"I'm with Leo. I'll look for a place to live later."

"Don't. I already know a good place. I'll pick you up after work. I gotta go for now."

"Alright. Talk to you later."

"Yeah, yeah. Don't be stupid next time and pick who you hang out with."

"I'm with you, aren't I?

" With that, Leatherhead grumbled and hung up the phone. Pocketing it, he could feel Leo's smirk boring a hole through him.

"What?"

"He cares."

"Yeah right. It's survivalist instinct to depend on one another. It isn't caring."

"Survival instinct to care for a blind guy? I don't believe that for one minute."

Leo squeezed his hands around Raph's and earned a yelp. "

Would you stop that? It hurts!"

"Quit whining, you big baby. Sensei is on his way."

"Sensei...? Your dad?"

"Yeah, he's our sensei too. In the art of bushido, you know?"

"Sounds cool. So you could've kicked their butts back there?"

Leo grinned lopsidedly and shook his head.

"No way. They're totally not there. It'd be unfair."

"But you could?"

"Well, duh. I don't train to be a wimp."

Raph smirked, shrugging, "could have fooled me."

"How 'bout some lessons with us then? I'm sure we could find a way."

A loud snort escaped Raph as he tossed his head back in laughter.

"Sure, lemme pay you in favors."

"It'd be no big deal. I can train you for a while until you catch up. With sensei, you can even choose weapon specialization. He grew up in Japan under a strict ninja regime, and so he knows...hey, you okay?"

"Migraine starting."

Raph had furrowed his eyebrows and closed his eyes as a jackhammer began its work in the crevices of his brain. Looking over at the shade nearby and then the overpass, he decided to heft Raph to his feet and bring him into the shade to at least not have the hot sun beat down on his head.

"Happen often?"

"Often enough."

He whispered, pushing onto his forehead with his palm. Leo's mouth pursed into a tight line at the sight of him.

"Any idea why?"

"Usually my eyes. Sometimes I think my memory is trying to jog, but nothing comes out of it."

"So, maybe when I mentioned something about training...?"

Raph shook his head gently, laughing a bit.

"Doubtful. I'd have been able to move those goons then."

"No kidding. Oh, I think I see dad's car."

He watched as a beige station wagon slowed off the side of the road before continuing on. Shrugging, Leo went back to hang out into view of the road in case he were to come by.

"So what, you don't remember anything?"

"Nope. Woke up in the sewers and that's the gist of it."

"Not even where you went to school?"

Leo crossed his arms and craned his neck to see if the car would double back while eyeing Raph every so often. Raph, digging his palm harder into his forehead, shrugged. The migraine was threatening to render him useless.

"Oh, it's coming back. Wait here."

Raph's eyes snapped open as he watched the shadowy figure of Leo running uphill to catch up to the station wagon slowly going in reverse. His heart throbbed with anxiety. This was like a rescue mission and he was the damsel. He didn't like it. To make matters worse, the migraine was making it impossible for him to think clearly. All he wanted to do was curl up and fall asleep right where he was.

"Alright, let's go!"

Leo called out as he jogged downhill to meet up with him once more. Helping him stand, they made it both uphill once more where an agitated Yoshi stood.

"Mr Hamato."

"Nightwatcher. Getting into trouble?"

"Yeah, sorry. Trouble found me."

Raph laughed sheepishly, a pang of guilt washing over him. Yoshi took one look at the blood-soaked towel and frowned deeply.

"Found you, indeed...Leonardo, have you kept pressure on that?"

"Yeah, up until now."

Giving him an assuring smile, they all piled in the car. More ridiculous, soft surf music played and somehow the mood lightened up. It stabbed at his migraine, sure, but he'd rather that music than the uncomfortable silence followed by questions. Leo grabbed hold onto the toweled hand once more and Raph felt at ease. A soft hum of cold soothed his eyes some and he felt leagues better. Closing his eyes, he relaxed back in the felt seats and allowed the hum of the engine to relax his aching muscles. He couldn't remember the last time he ran, but it was definitely not anytime in the past six months.

"Getting comfortable?"

"Air conditioning feels nice."

He murmured, trying to shake off the fatigue now that began plaguing him.  
He didn't remember the rest of the drive, but sometime between now and the last song, the car had pulled into a parking lot and they were walking to the entrance of the urgent care with a low rumble. Rubbing his eyes against the towel, his migraine had subsided with the cool air and nap he had taken in the car.

"Feeling better?"

"Loads."

He stifled a yawn as he replied to Leo, his hands still wrapped tightly around the bleeding towel and Yoshi steering Raph inside. Two automatic doors slide open sideways and they were greeted by a cool blast of air.

"Go sit, I'll take care of registration."

Yoshi whispered to the boys, Leo nodding and leading them to a nearby chair. By this time, Raph's arm was growing tired of keeping his arm held up and was about to let it slacken but Leo wouldn't allow it.

"How's the migraine?"

"Better with the cold air."

"Well, nap for now. I don't think we can go anywhere without the papers being filled out first."

Scrunching up his face in question but before he could protest, Leo pulled him close and let his head rest against his shoulder.

"Just stop being stubborn and nap. You remind me of someone I know."

Grunting in reply, Leo couldn't help but feel a stab of sympathy. The guy couldn't be older than him, and maybe he was older than Donnie, but he wasn't sure. Definitely older than Mikey. That meant that he could potentially be...

"Uh...Nightwatcher?"

Raph didn't even have time to get comfortable when his name was called. He raised his head off of Leo's shoulder and Leo felt a surge of discomfort all at once. Leading him inside, he pointed in the direction they were headed to Yoshi when he turned his head and earned a nod in reply; still filling out paperwork.  
Leo helped Raph sit in the small office and the nurse immediately began taking vital signs while asking him questions. What happened, how did it happen, he'd have to fill in an incident report to have on file; and all the while, his head swam with fatigue. The migraine had receded, but it'd been a while since it was so bad and he honestly felt like he would throw up at any given moment.

"Are you okay?"

"Migraine, apparently."

Leo spoke up for him, realizing now that Raph had propped up his entire weight against him in the chair.

"Bad one?"

"Not really."

"Yes, really."

Frowning at him, the nurse, a tall, ebony skinned woman with cotton-candy hair, shook her mane and pushed a finger against his forehead. Groaning, she gave him a triumphant grin and crossed her arms. "Not really." She mimicked him in a light voice.

"We'll get you fixed up, alright, honey?"

Raph just nodded and that's when Leo held him tight and gave him a reassuring squeeze.

* * *

An IV tube had fed under Raph's skin to replenish his dehydration while sutures were pulled through his skin. A doctor, another tall woman with cropped brunette hair and tanned skin, had peeled apart his eyelids and peered inside with a flashlight.

"I can't say for sure what the sudden vision loss is for sure, so you'd need to go to a hospital for that. I'll give you these," her pen scrawled down a prescription on the pad and looked back up at him and his dark circles under his eyes, "and you should improve. Usually a pressure on the eye is the cause, so take these with regular ibuprofen and, like I said, it should improve. If not, there's a more serious matter and you need to go run further tests."

Tearing off the paper and handing it to Raph, she pursed her lips and watched Leo take it from her instead.

"I hope you have good insurance."

"We do."

The way she said that rubbed Leo roughly in the wrong direction.

"Good. Then his amnesia should be checked out too. People don't forget unless there's a part of the brain that died off, extreme trauma, or if they don't want to remember and they repress it."

"I don't think we're here for that."

"Neither were you for that prescription."

The doctor pointed to the paper, which Leo clenched tightly close to him. Biting down on his tongue, he watched the doctor nonchalantly fill out more paperwork for a minute before turning back to Raph and taking out the IV. "I don't know where you live, kid, but there are shelters."

"Yeah, whatever."

Raph's voice had somehow surprised Leo. He'd been quiet this entire time, trying not to aggravate his migraine, and Leo forgot that he had a voice of his own for a while.

"Right. You're done."

"Thanks."

They both chorused in unison, though Leo mumbled it more than Raph. On the way back to the waiting room, Leo scanned for his father and found him already at the counter. Instead of pulling out his insurance card, he pulled out a blue one-his credit card. The sight was disorienting to him until he remembered that they had family insurance. And with the lug following him, he realized that he wasn't family. He didn't qualify for the plan. Guilt festered in his chest, but one look at Nightwatcher and he knew that he was already much better. His hand was bandaged and he looked more alive with fluids inside him and maybe even his migraine receded a bit with the cool air.  
Raph did, actually, feel leagues better. What's better was that the meds would make him see again. He was beginning to forget how the sun looked like. Only problem was he needed money for the meds and then maybe it'd work. Maybe.

"Are we set?"

Yoshi stuffed his wallet in his back pocket and placed his hand on both their shoulders. Wordlessly, Leo held up the slip of paper and Yoshi looked it over and nodded before putting, that, too in his back pocket.

"Will you stay with us until Leatherhead comes by, Nightwatcher?"

"Sure. Is Mikey home?"

Raph almost lit up at the offer. A childish side of him was overjoyed that he'd be able to go back to that place with everyone that...loved...him.

"Mikey's been looking for Klunk again."

"His cat?"

"Yep."

Leo nodded as they steered out through the sliding doors again, the end-of-summer heat pricking at their skin. Raph inhaled the air and exhaled slowly. It felt clearer. Taster...better. And Leo's hand around his wrist squeezed tighter.

"Give your friend Leatherhead a call when we arrive. Invite him over too."

"Thanks, Mr Hamato. For everything. It's..uh...really nice for you to do this for me. I mean, all of this. You didn't have to and you don't have to and-"

"If the world were kinder to one another, it'd be a better place, Nightwatcher."

Yoshi grinned and placed his hand on Raph's shoulder, guiding him as well.

"And perhaps one day, you too will find yourself doing the same as I am."

"I hope so. Those guys back there? That messed up my hand? They're kids too. My age, I think. Now they're all doped up and...it could have been me too, you know?"

Raph felt his heartstrings tug at the thought of him laying on the cold, hard ground bawling and kicking and screaming.

"They'd never do that to themselves."

"They were whacked, sensei." Leo explained, "I only knew where to find him because they were yelling. Like, loud."

"Hmm..."

Yoshi pondered for a while before frowning and letting out a small sigh.

"New York...is both full of wonder and tragedy. It is unfortunate that you have been thrust into the latter..."

Raph inhaled sharply, ready for the sympathy talk.

"But we're lucky Michelangelo found you. Now, we have another person to add to our expanding family."

Except when it's insurance, Leo thought ruefully. He didn't hate Raph, but he hated the system. He looked better and he sounded better, but because of red tape, it cost them. Because he wasn't actually family.

"Thanks, Mr Hamato." A sheepish smile crept up on Raph's face and Leo's heart swelled. Yeah, it was worth it.

"You too, Leonardo."

"Anytime b-" He caught himself from saying bro. Now he understood why Mikey said it so often.

* * *

AN: Thanks for the new follows and reviews!


	10. Sight

Sight

With double the force as he had thrown it, the dirty yellow tennis ball bounced off the red brick wall and landed snugly in Raph's hand. Rearing back and throwing it again, a spray of dirty street water spritz in a line across his clothes and smacked against the wall again, leaving a dark circle where it hit. Rain had poured nonstop since morning and yet Raphael was compelled to frolic in it like a happy faun in dew grass. He was waiting for Mikey to finish school.  
He didn't know when, but that morning, he woke up in awe as he _saw _light streak in through the warehouse. It wasn't in detail and shadows lingered, but he saw the streaks clear enough as it dappled the items inside. Beside him snored away Leatherhead with his arms wrapped tightly around him. A lumpy thing encircled him as well, and maybe it was plaited? But he saw it, which was enough for him.  
The medication had run a five day course before the fruits of its labor was borne-clouded, shadowed vision, but not blackness.  
He had let out a startled cry and bolted upright, holding his bony hands in front of him and stood up suddenly. Backing into a column of chairs that tumbled to the ground as a single unit, he stumbled back and head twisted and turned in every direction as he absorbed his surroundings. The once vacant warehouse he had painted in his mind was now brimming with objects he never imagined. Most of the objects pertained to school equipment-chairs, desks, piles and piles and piles of xerox papers, chalk and chalkboards, TV stands, projectors...  
Two stories worth of class material piled up high. The walls were lined with the home etc. and mechanical equipment for extra curricular activities. Scanning the walls, he realized that a bunch of woodworking saws had been toppled over. Maybe it was that he had cut his hand on. He wasn't too sure.  
And now here he waited. At the park near Mikey's high school. He'd found a dirty old tennis ball and played catch all on his own, trying to hit a white painted on circle on the red brick wall in the cool rain. He savored the rain, now, as it dribbled down his chin and off his earlobes. It soaked through his clothes and saturated his hair. His socks were wet, and it was the worst feeling ever, usually, but even then, it was welcomed. His vision was perfect, yet he was positively enraptured with this old, new world and everything it offered him.

"Nightwatcher?"

Raph's arm stopped mid-pitch. turning in a flash, he sat the three brothers standing in front of the fence bordering the park and staring at him. A slow smile spread from one ear to the other and tears sprung to his eyes. Walking towards the fence, slow and steady still, he stared at each of them for a few seconds before stopping on Mikey. Fingers laced through the fencing, knuckles white from gripping so hard, Raph let out a short laugh. Blue orbs across from him blinked in confusion.

_Blue_.

"You're shorter than me after all!"

He exclaimed. Confusion writ across their faces for mere milliseconds before it dawned on the brothers. Cheering erupted and they abandoned their bags as they made a beeline for the fence's gate to meet Raph on the other side.  
Raph let go of the fence and watched as the shortest of the boys barreled towards him, umbrella floating behind him as he forgot about it, and launched himself around his neck. Instinctively, Raph's arms wrapped around the youngest brother and swung him in a circle. Laughing loudly, Mikey stepped back for Donnie and Leo to take their places near the Nightwatcher and congratulate with pats and tightly gripped shoulders.

"Dude, so like, can you see well?"

Mikey asked, curious fingers prying away at Raph's eyelids and trying to look for a physical change of any kind. Slapping his hand away, Raph let out a growled 'no' and took a step back away from them all only to get a better view of each of them. Before, they were shadowy figures against a white backdrop. But now he saw Donatello with his hazel eyes and long hair held in a low ponytail. That's why they had elastic hairbands! And Leonardo with short, boyish hair but well kept. His eyes were blue as well, but Mikey's stood out through the...freckles?

"You have _freckles_?"

Raph peered closer, craning his neck forwards to stare at boy's cheeks. Mikey's elbows rose to the air as he pointed his two index fingers to his cheeks and smiled as broadly as he could manage.

"From all the sun!"

"Shouldn't you tan then?"

"Nah, freckles are _much_ cuter than a tan."

"Guys shouldn't be want to called cute, Michelangelo."

Raph gently punched Mikey on the shoulder and took minutes to examine each and every one of them. Their height, their composure (in which they all held themselves high, which Raph found unusual in teenagers who usually tried hiding themselves as much as possible).

"So does this mean I can sit in on one of your ninjutsu training sessions?"

"Yeah! He can come, right guys? Sensei'll be really excited!"

"You're really excited, Mikey."

Donnie grinned back, not a hundred percent sold on the idea. Mikey had danced around with Raph's hands clutched inside his, tugging back on it to prove his point on how _excited_ he was. Raph looked over at Donnie and although he had showered him with praise, he seemed somehow uncomfortable. His shoulders were bunched up, tense, and his eyes surveyed him too closely for his liking.

"Need to take a photo? It'll last longer."

"Don't mind if I do-"

"Donnie..."

Leo warned, his hand holding his brother's arm down as he quickly fished for his phone in his pocket. Donnie's mouth opened to protest, and Raph saw his unease, but Leo shook his head ever so slightly as if Raph still couldn't see. Were these reactions going on while he was right in front of them?  
Insulted, he angrily wiped the rain dripping from his chin and stared down at the two older siblings with such an intense glare that they looked back at him with shame.

"Sorry."

Donnie murmured, flushing a bright red as he met Raph's eyes for a moment and became suddenly interested in his feet.

"We should celebrate though."

Donatello added quietly, his hazel eyes darting upwards apologetically at Raph as he offered him a small smile. Accepting it with a forced groan and rolled eyes, Raph smiled back.

"PIZZA. Duuuude! Throwback from when we first met!"

Mikey howled as he threw his entire body backwards for added enthusiasm and let Raph's hands clasp tightly around his wrists so he wouldn't fall backwards. Steadying Mikey on his feet, the young boy went on about how he first came across Nightwatcher in Antonio's pizzeria while trying to pay for pizza with monopoly money.

"You've done worse."

The words left Raph's mouth in protest before he even knew why he said them. Confused glares were cast his way, his cheeks building up in a rouge color before he pointed to Mikey with an accusing finger.

"He threw rocks at Hob!"

"Not even."

"Mikey..."

Leo warned, his voice dangerously low. Mikey took a few steps back in fear as his big brother ran after him, the whole thing turning into a game of tag. Raph crossed his arms and watched with smug satisfaction. Donnie stepped beside him and held his umbrella over Nightwatcher's head, stopped the rain from drowning him anymore than it already was. Raph looked up at the boy's stoic face; eyes boring a hole into his own.

"You don't trust me."

"Nice observation."

"But you tolerate me."

"For Mikey."

Donnie's voice was cold.

"And because there's something about you that I can't place."

Raph shrugged. From a bystander's point of view, it looked like the two were having a friendly exchange and Donnie was keeping him dry instead of having a sensitive exchange about Donnie's trust issues.

"And I'm not going to give up until I find out who you are. For all we know, you could be a murderer."

A cynical smile spread across Raph's face. This is what he was worried about?

"Well, if you find out who I am, be sure to tell me, alright?"

"Or the cops."

His retort was curt. In all honesty, Raph couldn't blame him.

"Then why let me in your house?"

"Because...it doesn't feel like you are."

"Aren't you the genius in the family? Don't you trust what you see instead of feel?"

"And how would you know that?"

A hum rose in his head and Raph shrugged it off, smirking.

"Gut feeling."

"Stop that, then. You don't know anything."

"Except that I'm right."

_A__nd you hate that I'm right_. He added in thought, unsure where these ideas actually were coming from.

"You're not."

"And if I am?"

"If you are right, and you can be trusted-"

"And I've earned a decent amount so far."

Raph cut him off, seeing Donatello's face flush with a moment's anger before relaxing again.

"I suppose you have. From Leo and Mikey, but not me. I can't trust you."

"Because who can trust a guy off the streets with amnesia, huh?"

"Exactly."

"Can't say I blame you. I did get him in trouble a few times."

"And you got him out, too. I'm just saying...I'm watching you. I can't trust you because you don't make sense. Not scientifically, anyways."

"Ever account for variables?"

"This doesn't count."

Donnie snapped. Apparently, he had. And he still couldn't wrap his brain around how someone could forget their entire existence. The two looked back over at the two brothers running and playing ninja in the rain. A frown had slowly crept up on Raph's face and his gut sank. Mikey's laugh perforated through the rain followed by Leo's yelling.

"You know, I think I'm starting to remember though."

"_Really_?" The words dripped with sarcasm as he rolled his eyes. "And how do you know?"

"Because..." Raph began slowly, the hum growing louder in his head until it slowly created a familiar ache. "I get deja vu sometimes. I say things that I know I used to, now. Stupid catch phrases and repetitive words."

"_Reaaally_?"

"Whatever, forget I said anything."

"No, I don't think I will. Call me if you remember anything."

"So you can distrust me more?"

"No, so I can find out if you're someone I know."

Donnie finished firmly, Raph's gut sinking deeper inside him. Why the heck was he feeling so wound up for?

"Thanks."

He retorted, Donnie's mouth in a tight line and said nothing. The headache scratching at Raph threatened to tear at him every time he looked back at Donnie's thinking face.

* * *

"This tea should rid of your headache."

Yoshi had pushed tea towards Raph upon arrival. He had just managed to take off his shoes at the front step and Yoshi was already waiting there with a ceramic, handle-less mug filled with warm tea. Raph tried to form words but only noises stupidly tumbled from his mouth. Smiling, almost too pleased with himself, and placed the mug inside his hands. Staring at it for a while, the other boys rushing past him with small bouts of laughter, Yoshi placed his hands in his sleeves of his large, mahogany robe, and smiled even wider. Raph caught himself staring at it and thought of how it definitely resembled the times when Mikey would smile like that and it abruptly ended when Yoshi spoke up.

"You're welcome."

"Oh, uh, thanks. How did you know?"

"Telepathy."

"Seriously? You're not going to fool me on that one."

"In a house of ninjas? Wouldn't anything be possible?"

"Mr Hamato, _telepathy_?"

"Indeed."

Almost skipping off, again, too proud of himself, Raph stared at the deep green tea and furrowed his brows.

"Telepathy..?"

He whispered at the mug in both hands, trying to grasp how illogical that sounded. He vaguely remembered telling Mikey how he could see via echolocation not too long ago and almost chuckled. It was some pretty dry humor, actually.

"Don't just stand there. Drink and shower."

Yoshi called from the other room. Nodding, he complied and as soon as he stepped over the entryway step, he looked around and found his head swirling. The house was a home. To his right was the living room and connected to that, the kitchen. He could see from a window a faint glow of yellow around the back still connected to the house via a long hall and could only assume that to be the dojo. About to question where the shower was, his feet had already carried him towards the direction to a door around the corner and saw Mikey setting out clean clothes.

"Dude, you can actually see yourself in the mirror now!"

He could, but somehow the idea seemed repulsive. Would he even recognize himself?

"I haven't been able to see myself in a while. I can't remember how I look like."

He laughed off his unease, Mikey's face pulling back in sadness.

"Well, I can't tell you that it'll be something you'd remember, then."

Mikey tilted the full body mirror to Raph's height and watched as he carefully made his way in front of it. His heart in his mouth, jaw set tight, he stared at the thing that reflected back to him.

"I look like shit. How the hell do you guys not run?"

The image hurt. Mikey held his breath as to not chance saying anything mean. And thus the frown etched a deeper creased into his emaciated face. Mug in bony hands, cheeks that seemed too old for him, and clothes that hung too loosely off his body, he hunched forwards and tried to hide his sight. His vision wasn't great yet, but even he could see the dark set bags under his green eyes.

"Maybe a shower will do you some good! And some pizza! Leo's already ordering and-"

"Yeah, thanks, Mike."

Raph smiled, cutting him off and looking down at his filthy feet. He didn't have socks to wear, and only now he noticed how grimy they were and how his toenails retained more dirt than he could make out. It had been brought to his attention then that he hadn't cut them ever and they must have been cracked and splintered off. Looking back up, he brought a hand to his face and felt his cheekbones. It was as they weren't his. A long scar ran from one cheekbone up along to his hairline. It was still a bright pink, as it if was still healing, and he could only deduct that it was from his fall. What he couldn't recognize the most were the green eyes staring back at him. They were lifeless. Black and large in contrast to the socket that had lost and fatty tissue around it. He dug the heels of his palms into his eyes, wishing he were blind again, he felt Mikey's hand gently take a hold of his now uncomfortably aware bony shoulder.

"Dude...you live on the streets...it's okay. We understand..."

"You shouldn't have to."

He choked up, clenching his jaw. Without further warning, Mikey hugged Raph tight and let his bury his head in his shoulder, careful not to bump the mug into the wall as he did so quickly. Letting out a strangled sigh, eyes closed, he melted into the hug. Mikey was a pretty tough kid to approach him at all.

"You're allowed all the pizza you want and we even have soda. And I'm gonna pack you a lunch every day and you can come here for supper. I know it'd be super awkward for you to come by just for breakfast because we're super busy running around for school, but you're still invited."

Raph's entire body shook as he bit back tears. He was taking advantage of this family. It wasn't too long ago that he had settled for shoving dirt into his mouth to quell the ache in his stomach, and now he understood why. He hadn't realized how starved he looked. He told people he was _starving_. And now he understood why they took so much pity on him. How Hob had made him play out the perfect role of a starving blind kid on the streets-a starving animal on the streets. He didn't feel like a human. Not looking the way he did.

"Breathe. It's okay now. Mikester's here."

He hadn't realized how hard he was holding his breath until Mikey had told him. It was supposed to be a happy day, and instead, he was having an existential crisis because he looked like, and felt like, complete and utter _shit_.

"Okay?"

Raph nodded but Mikey clutched him even tighter, "no, say it. Are you okay?"

"Yeah..."

His voice was forced and gravelly. He was not okay, and Mikey knew it.

"It'll be alright. We're here now, and you're practically family now. No choice. You gotta do what we say. If not, I'll tell Donatello, and don't think I didn't realize you two not getting along."

Raph let out a small chuckle, and only then did Mikey feel brave enough to let him go. He needed that hug just as much as Nightwatcher did.

"Now you stay in that shower until we're all done. And brush your teeth. And wash your ears. And condition your hair! It's getting pretty long." Raph undid the elastic in his hair and let the oily mess fall around his shoulders in a disgusting familiarity. Turning to look at the mirror again, he realized how pathetic he looked. Worse with it down than up. And before that, he was with Hob, who had made him look as awful as humanly possible.

"Thanks, Mikey."

"Anytime, bro. Just be out before pizza gets here. Mi casa es tu casa."

Winking as he left, gently loosening the mug in his hands, Raph felt his cheeks flush even more the moment the door closed. Quickly locking it after Mikey left, Raph curled into a ball on the floor before the mirror and wrapped his arms around his head, trying to muffle his sobs. It was a kindness he felt he didn't deserve, especially after punching him on his first encounter. And for it, and unable to return the kindness, he felt as if he was delivered a swift punch to the gut. He was going to, he just had to think of a way how.  
Finishing his mini emotional breakdown, sniffling, he stood and turned the mirror around. If he thought he looked awful with clothes on, he wasn't eager to face himself with clothes off.

* * *

Fast paced Japanese shot back and forth between Mikey and Donnie when Raph exited the shower. Mikey was poised on the sofa and shouting at Donnie with an accusing finger in extremely fast Japanese with hard emphasis on some of his words that made Raph cringe a bit. Donnie balled his fists up and in a calmer, but harsh voice, seemed to be explaining something back to Mikey who was growing angrier by the moment. Again, the hum grew in Raph's head, but there was no headache. Yoshi's tea had done wonders, but it wasn't solving the problem that there was a brotherly argument happening in front of him and he felt the need to intervene.  
Donnie seemingly finished his sentence, Raph grasping bits and pieces of it, and waited for Mikey's rebuttal. It wasn't good. Mikey's chest had huffed out and Raph could see his muscles flex in a way that meant trouble. His feet carried him over in front of Donnie before he even knew what was happening, arms outstretched, and he caught the ball of fury that had launched towards Donnie in an uncalculated attack, and toppled over from the sheer force of the lunge.

"_YAME_."

Everyone in the room froze as the command issued. It gave Mikey the moment to stare at Raph close up and saw his eyes wide not in terror, but confusion. Breathless, Mikey clambered off of Raph and sat on his haunches for a moment, allowing his friend to sit up. Despite the situation, somehow, it felt _good_ to move the way Raph did. It was as if he weren't the skin and bones he had seen in the mirror. But how had he known was beyond him. He just saw this flicker of muscle move in Mikey's forearm in the right lighting and he knew he was going to do something so stupid...

"_Are you okay_?"

Mikey whispered, Raph looking up and not answering. He understood that Japanese, if anything. But not enough to merit any concern.

"What happened here?"

Yoshi demanded, cane in hand and voice firm. Mikey stood up, stupefied, and held a hand out for Raph to take and haul him to his feet. Looking back, Raph took note of Leo at Yoshi's side, air of authority surrounding him as well. He had to have gotten help, maybe, when he saw the situation spiral beyond his control.

"Donatello," Mikey began, trying to keep his voice even through gritted teeth, "wants to have our guest leave."

"Why is that?"

Yoshi asked, Donnie's face pulling back in a built-up sadness and explained in Japanese that slowly started to crack his voice. Once again, Raph could tear out bits and pieces that made sense; something about their older brother, _aniki_, something about him dead or dying? Why was the conjugation so hard to click?  
Yoshi listened with an attentive ear, face emotionless yet considerate as he listened to him speak his mind in a language that seemed far easier for the two of them to communicate in. Suddenly, Raph felt like the odd one out. They _had_ to be speaking English for his sake. The group was too fluent in Japanese to have taken it up as a second language.

"Leonardo?"

Yoshi looked down to his eldest son for input, and Leo, too, began in Japanese. It seemed to suit them better than English, actually. He stopped suddenly, his eyes falling on Raph, and he shook his head.

"There's no way. Donnie, you need sleep."

This sent Donnie into a whirlwind of explanation of why he didn't need sleep. In both languages, this time. Sometimes the words switched languages without meaning to and other times, to conceal the message of the fight from Raph, but it was clear enough. Donnie's previous conversation led him to believe that he knew Raph somehow. Or had to. No one else saw it, and he was definitely doing something about it. He was...investigating?

"Wait, hang on, are you actually trying to find out who I am?"

The entire room froze mid-sentence, mid-hand motion, mid-_breath_, and everything seemed to snap into place. Raph turned angrily towards Donnie and felt his blood begin to bubble. He didn't know why he was so mad about this. Why they think speaking in another language would hide anything from him. It was honestly insulting that they thought he was dumb enough to not string together what they were saying.

"Yes, I am!" Donnie snapped back, "and I'd be a fool if I didn't try! You're a phenomenon that shouldn't be! No one has amnesia for so long without remembering anything. Not unless they're lying!"

"Well, I'm not, genius! Why the hell would I lie about any of this?"

Donnie's mouth opened to protest but the doorbell rang. The tension in the house was thick. Thicker than it had been in the past couple of months. Yoshi held up a hand to silence the boys as he went over to the door to open it.

"Officers."

Yoshi's heart skipped a beat as two officers stood on his porch with a box in hand. He tried to keep his composure steady, but even he wavered at the sight of the box and his blood grew cold.

"We're here about your...son." The woman began, shifting the box in her hands. "Could we come inside?"

"Please. My boys are waiting on some pizza, so we will be interrupted again in a few minutes. Just a fair warning."

"That's fine. Please."

The male held out a hand and motioned to the kitchen past the boys. They all exchanged looks and Raph felt like the odd one out. Mikey picked up on it immediately and took him by the wrist. He didn't want to hear what the officers had to say, and Raph had no business.

"We'll chill in the dojo until pizza comes along. I'll show you my 'chuks."

"Okay..." It felt surreal. He wanted to know, but at the same time, he didn't want to be nosy.

"We...had to withhold items from the crime scene..."

The woman's voice faded away and Raph shuddered. No, it wasn't his business. He had no right to know. One look at Mikey's face told Raph that he was determined to steer clear of the area. He obviously didn't want to be there, and if he could at least help him change his mind...

"Okay, champ. Show me your 'chuks in case I lose my vision again."

"Don't even joke. That isn't funny."

Mikey snapped. Alright, not a time to joke. Okay.

"Sorry."

"You'll be sorrier once you see how bad I could have whooped Donnie's butt."

A smile stretched across Raph's face as he nodded in enthusiasm. Tonight didn't have to be all bad.

* * *

**AN: **After several rewrites, I'm glad how this turned out! Thanks for the follows and reviews and patience C:


	11. Keys

Keys

Mikey had placed blue mats from one end of the dojo to the other. Thunder roared right outside, illuminating the room in a bright white and blue flash before dying off. Each part of the wall was a sliding panel that could individually be opened and locked, and Mikey chose to open as many of them as he could. Even with the elongated roof overhanging the training room, fine mists of rain swept inside and dusted Raph's freshly washed skin as he sat close to the opened wall and away from the mats.

"Okay, I'm going to do something really cool, so hold onto your socks."

"No socks in the dojo."

Raph absent-mindedly said, earning a momentarily confused look from Mikey.

"Says who?"

"Everyone knows that."

"No, you need socks to wear those samurai sandals and stuff! People wear shoes in a dojo!"

"For grip...you have acrobatic mats out? You're gonna do a couple of flips? No socks."

"Dude, you sound like sensei. I was only joking."

"Right...well, show me what you got. You sure your ankle's fine from last time?"

"No sweat! It wasn't twisted at all! You guys overreact!"

Raph's arms crossed as he gave Mikey an iron stare that he couldn't argue against. Slouching his shoulders and throwing his arms up in defeat, he waved Raph away with both hands and went to the end of the mat set-up and pointed to Raph.

"I'll show you!"

"Yeah, yeah, show me what you've got, tough guy."

Feeling the challenge that Raph had now just issued against him, Mikey huffed out his chest and clenched his fists at both his sides.

"Prepare. To have. Your pants knocked off."

"Hey, I can wear pants here!"

"Come on, dude, I'm trying to be cool."

His whining was cut short when a crack of lightning struck a lamppost nearby, momentarily blinding the two. Wide-eyed, Mikey shook off the shock and smiled from ear to ear.

"Starting!"

Mikey nearly yelled and, from a standstill, began his acrobatic show with a single back flip. Stopping and holding his arms out to Raph, as if trying to show off that single skill, Raph immediately gave him the thumbs down.

"I didn't get my vision back to see _that_. I thought you got your nunchucks."

"You don't even KNOW."

He pointed an accusing finger that quickly evolved into his entire body flipping backwards. Expecting it to be over in one back flip, Raph prepared his sarcasm and eagerly waited for him to show off the second flip. When Mikey continued, flip after flip after flip, he switched it up by twisting in the air after enough momentum was gained and began a series of side flips that then, when he ran out of room ahead of him, changed into a side roll on the ground so he now faced the wall where he started. Expecting him to stop at least for a moment to catch his breath, Mikey continued still with front flips that where he lead the way with one leg and then the other. Admittedly, he was beyond impressed. When the wall at the other end quickly approached him again, his arms stretched out to hold onto the ground, his legs twisted in the air. Upside down, in more of a Mikey fashion sort of almost fighting, his hands danced on the floor one at a time, always changing, as his legs swung and spun up high to give him momentum. Always looking ahead, the air twists ended with a final hard tap on the ground with his left hand and he stopped, body curled in the air with his feet nearly dangling in front of his face, and finally he pushed himself back onto his feet after a few moments of intense suspension. Raph couldn't contain the overwhelming excitement that exploded in loud cheering and clapping as he jumped to his feet. Mikey's entire body heaved with every breath he took as he held onto his knees to keep the room from spinning.

"That was amazing!"

Raph's voice boomed louder than he could ever remember. He grasped onto Mikey's shoulders and gave him a proud shake.

"How the heck did you manage to do that!?"

"Sensei thinks I've too much pent up energy during the day..."

He panted, inhaling loudly and exhaling slowly as he tried to regain control over his breathing.

"And so! He says this is my way of spending it!"

He brought his thumb up to his chest and dug it in there with a satisfied smirk.

"I'm the best of my brothers!"

"Says you."

Raph retorted, placing his arms akimbo and smiling from ear to ear. It had slipped his mind that the brothers, too, had trained in the same thing. Only for a moment.

"Okay, okay, okay. Something I know for SURE that the others can't do is spin nunchucks like Bruce Lee."

"Alright, let's see them. Just go slow. I didn't see some of those spinny moves you did."

"Aw, man, really?"

"Mikey, I'm not one hundred percent in my vision. I can _see, _but not everything. Like your hands sorta meld together sometimes on the ground."

Raph could see Mikey's entire body sag a bit in disappointment before brightening up again.

"Well, that just means I've gotta show you in a few days!"

Nodding, Raph placed a hand on Mikey's head and rustled his hair.

"Sounds like a plan."

"And another plan would be getting pizza! We've been here, what, ten minutes?"

"Something like it, yeah."

"Pizza should be here then! First, help me close up here!"

* * *

"You withheld my son's belongings from me?"

Yoshi snapped, fuming. The contents of the box, now spread across the table, contained a heavily charred and torn backpack still full of now scorched schoolwork, broken pencils, keys, and a wallet.

"It was evidence."

The female officer, Kennsworth, her badge read, said.

"It was not yours to keep!"

Yoshi exclaimed. Donatello and Leonardo sat quietly on either side of him. Leo kept glancing over at Donnie every so often so see him having problems keeping himself in line. He wanted to lash out and grab the evidence and run, he knew, but if their father was there, he'd be able to handle it.

"It was, actually."

Baker, the male's name.

"And we held it for the allotted six month period to allow investigation. Which is was investigated."

"And did you find anything worth investigating?"

Yoshi demanded, wanting to scoop the contents in his arms and hold them close. Baker and Kennsworth exchanged glances and shook their heads.

"No," Kennsworth answered, "but we tried."

Sighing, trying to expel his anger, Yoshi nodded.

"Thank you."

"We have a hunch on what happened, and who is behind this, but without any clues, we can't ID anyone. Even if you tell us the exact gang, we could try and extract information but not without risking the life of someone else."

The doorbell rang again, and before Donnie could get up to answer it, Leo had sprung forwards and jumped at it. Donnie needed his closure more than he did. Paying for it and leaving a generous tip, the driver tipped his cap and ran back out in the pouring rain. Bringing the boxes to the kitchen and placing it on the counter, Leo looked back over to Donnie to gauge his mental state. Raising and dangerous.

"We're sorry for this, Mr Hamato. Unfortunately, we have no new information. No one's come forth as new witnesses, and the area is still under renovation. You know how slow it goes in New York."

Kennsworth offered a small smile, but Yoshi was not in the mood to humor her. Donnie finally reached out and picked up the wallet and opened it. Folded bills and various cards bound with a paperclip were carelessly stuffed inside. Yoshi watched as he rummaged through the knick-knacks until he came across a worn out high school card with his picture on it. Pausing, breath held in his chest, he stared at it before closing it back up. It was as if he had forgotten how his brother looked like.

"We cleared the shrapnel from the bag for evidence. Everything's been dusted and replaced just as it was. We still have a piece of his clothing that can be used with K9 dogs, and has, but the area is too charred up to find anything."

Baker could see that Yoshi was growing tired of hearing them and their excuses.

"So, you've come here to return his items to this family, yes?"

Yoshi spoke slowly and with care, maintaining eye contact with each of them. His hands clasped together on the table clenched and unclenched.

"Yes..."

Kennsworth was growing uneasy with Yoshi's candid manner of speaking now.

"And nothing else?"

"We're sorry."

"Don't be, officer Baker. I do not blame you. But I would like for you to leave now. By your presence, you've upset my sons. And worse yet, you return items that were rightfully ours in the first place and taken without our knowledge. Now, you tell me that there is nothing more you can do for my dead son?"

Leo stood by his father now, shoulders bunched up and following his lead.

"Mr Hamato, we-"

"We've said our goodbyes, officers. And now you ask us to do so again tonight. So please, if you will, I'd like for you to leave until you can tell me something good about this situation."

Yoshi stood up, and, contagiously, the two officers stood up as well. Donnie stayed quiet in his chair, his eyes flickering over to the backpack and desperately wanting to go through that as well, contained himself as best as he could. Silently, the two officers made their way to the door and turned back to look at Yoshi. Kennsworth noted the two additional boys watching them from a doorway leading to the long corridor.

"Also your boys?"

"Yes."

"I thought you only our..."

"I do. Recently, Michelangelo has been bringing a friend home. To cope with the loss of his brother."

Yoshi turned back from the entryway to look straight into Mikey's face. It was drawn back in sadness and horror at the mention of his dead brother.

"And so, he is trying to move on. By default, that makes him one of my 'boys' and most welcome in our home."

"Messed up..."

Baker muttered under his breath behind his hand, pretending to scratch at his beard. Yoshi would have stabbed his cane into the ground to silence him if only he had it with him. Kennsworth nodded towards him knowingly, with embarrassment, and extended a hand for Yoshi to shake.

"We're sorry to bother you with bad news."

"Couldn't be helped."

He retorted, sticking his hands inside his sleeves while staring her in the eyes. With a deep sigh through her nose, she retreated her hand and opened the door, tipped her hat, and left. By the time they actually left, Yoshi was fuming. His shoulders heaved and he wanted to get angry at something, but one look at his boys behind him and he knew that this wasn't only about him now.

"Boys, come here."

He called out. The three of them rushed over to their father, Raph watching from the doorway still. Yoshi looked at the three of them, all kneeling in front of him and waiting for him to speak. Raph waited at the doorway for something to happen now that they were in what seemed to be training mode, or maybe a lecturing mode.

"_Boys_."

Raph's eyes flickered upwards to see that Yoshi was looking at _him_, too. Taken aback, he returned the patient stare. Deciding that it meant him too, he crept beside Mikey and folded his legs behind him, kneeling as Mikey did, hands on his legs, and looking up at Yoshi. Looking up at sensei. Satisfied, Yoshi closed his eyes momentarily and began choosing his words carefully.

"We are still in mourning, yes. But know that I am proud of each and every single one of you and how you cope. Your brother would be very proud. Donatello, thank you for being so thorough on your brother's search and never giving up hope. I recognize how much strain you are put under from all of us, and know that you have already done more than enough to aid us in our grief. Regardless, I am sure you are eager to go through your brother's belongings in search for more clues. You may be excused to do so. Thank you for waiting all this time."

"_Hai, sensei._"

Donnie quickly jumped to his feet and he sprung around to the table, scooped all the belongings in his arms, and doubled back upstairs without a second glance. Raph's eyes followed him all along, frowning at how distraught he was.

"Leonardo, thank you for caring for your younger brothers and Nightwatcher. You prove yourself to be an exceptional leader with each passing day. You carry the burden of your brother's death every day and make an example of it. You are more cautious and wary of your surroundings. Thank you for your constant vigilance towards your brothers. You may go now, as well."

"_Hai, sensei._"

Leo bowed, Yoshi doing the same, and Leo took his leave too, going after Donnie.

"Michelangelo."

Mikey's back tensed up and chest huffed out. Squinting his eyes a bit, Raph wasn't too sure if Mikey's cheeks were flushed or not, and unintentionally loomed forward ever so slightly to try and make out the proper color. A slight pink, but maybe from the acrobatics? He wasn't crying, was he?

"Nightwatcher..."

"Sorry. Lighting is getting dark."

He snapped back into place at Yoshi's warning tone. A few moments of recollecting his thoughts, he began again.

"Michelangelo, you are holding your brothers together. With your kind heart, and optimism, they are truly leaning on you for continued support. You keep them smiling when they can't do so for themselves. I thank you for that."

Mikey bowed and, once again, Raph questioned if his bottom lip quivered or he was getting tired and the lighting was growing dim.

"And Nightwatcher."

Raph's heart lurched. He hadn't expected to be called on. Sure he lined up, but to be recognized as one of his own was probably a bit much on Mr Hamato's part.

"Yeah?"

"Please rely on us more. Michelangelo is fond of you, and by proxy, so are we. Thank you for giving us the ability to care for another once again. It has been difficult to do so for too long."

"Uh..."

Yoshi bowed to him too, and Raph quickly followed suite, his cheek flushing a deep crimson.

"You two are excused."

"_Hai, sensei_."

Their voices chorused in unison. Mikey's arm raised in Raph's peripheral, and he instantly knew that he had done so to wipe away tears of frustration. Psyching himself up, he puffed out his chest and looked straight at Raph.

"They all forgot their pizza! I'm gonna go drag their butts downstairs!"

Mikey took off in a whirlwind, leaving Raph alone with Yoshi for a moment. Feeling rather sheepish at the whole situation, he scratched at his drying stitches on his hand and smiled uneasily.

"Uh...thank _you_, uh, sensei? For everything...and letting me into your home. I'm not great with this whole sentimental thing, but you've been awesome to me for the past while and without you, I wouldn't have been able to see again. So...that..and the stitches...and food...and showers and clothes and-"

Yoshi let out a few laughs, trying to contain himself in a graceful manner. Stopping and blushing furiously, Raph cleared his throat and tugged at his sleeve.

"Well, that solves that. Phew. Nice chat. I'm gonna go."

"Wait."

Pursing his lips, his eyes darted back upwards to Yoshi and prayed the awkwardness away. Yoshi approached Raph and drew his arms around him in a hug, the teen freezing up instantly in the warm embrace. "Uh..."

"You are always welcome in our home. It can be your home too. We've always room."

"Yeah, thanks..."

Giving him a quick hug back, obviously awkward as heck, he skedaddled off after Mikey. Yoshi watched with a small smile. Hopefully, they would remember that despite the police peeling back old wounds, they were still loved and cared for, and that they were appreciated for their hard work. He wanted to let them know that they were still doing the best that they could with their life given their circumstances. And for that, for his boys, he couldn't help but tell them how much he welcomed it.

* * *

Stopping short in the stairwell, his chest with every breath he took as he tried to reorient himself. The whole exchange was awkwardly familiar. His knees felt accustomed to the strange feeling of being bent the same way for prolonged periods of time. And Yoshi's scent was somehow ingrained in him and it felt comforting. It was awkward. Unusual. He didn't hate it. But it wasn't comfortable at all.  
He snapped out of his thoughts when a trio of boys toppled over one another making it to the stairs, a clump of metal falling to his feet. Leaning over to pick them up and inspecting them closer, he realized that they were a set of keys. Instinctively, he reached into both his pockets and felt around them. Almost obligated to clip these ones to the loops around his pants, he refrained from doing so as soon as he caught himself on his actions and paused mid-motion.

"Whoa..."

"You guys saw that, right?"

Leo questioned Mike, whose mouth was agape in awe.

"Dude, you remembered something, didn't you?"

Mikey, who lay flat on the floor with his two older brothers piled on top of him, stared wide eyed at Raph.

"Unless homeless people own keys, I think he might have."

Donnie concluded, wiping dry streaks of tears from his cheeks with the heel of his palm. As if he snapped out of the momentum of remembering, he looked at the boys and blinked a few times.

"Yeah...I used to own keys, I think...in my pocket all the time...attached here..."

As if grasping for invisible keys at his side. It was something so insignificant that it almost frustrated him. His memory jogged with a set of _keys_. How was that supposed to remind him of who he once was?

"Anything else?"

Donnie asked, peeling himself away from the pile and standing up straight. Raph looped the hook attaching all the keys together around his finger and flipped it constantly in his hand. Pressing his lips together until they formed a white line, he stared at them for a final moment before shaking his head. Holding the keys out to Donnie, he shrugged.

"Maybe that, but I'm not too sure. Just keys, for now. Not sure where or what for."

A jagged headache began materializing behind Raph's eyes and he couldn't help but let out an aggravated sigh. One look at the outstretched hand and Donnie pushed it away.

"Keep them."

Mikey and Leo swapped concerned looks. Donnie would usually want to keep any and all evidence until he was done with it; and considering he had only just managed to take a hold onto them, he hadn't had the time.

"What? No, they're yours."

"It'll be your perfect metaphor. The keys to unlocking your memory."

Donnie was always a fan of satire. Kurt Vonnegut always wrote admirable satire that earned more than a few sensible chuckles from the family's genius.

"If you're sure."

"If I wasn't, I wouldn't be offering it to you. Take it."

Hesitantly, Raph nodded and stuffed them in his pockets and latching them around the loops.

"Thanks, Don."

"Donnie's not letting go of his hunch, is he?"

Mikey whispered to Leo, the two of them now standing up and straightening their clothes. Leo nodded and sighed. "

I mean, I think I see it, but..."

"Leo, stop."

Mikey was deadpanned now.

"Stop right now."

When Mikey was firm, everyone knew that things were getting out of hand. A frown and several stern glances later and they all filed downstairs to grab pizza before it got cold. Leo lingered behind and bumped Raph with his elbow, smiling softly.

"Congrats."

He whispered, earning a smile back from the Nightwatcher and watched as he rubbed at his neck, letting Leo drape his arm around his shoulder and walk side by side for a while.

* * *

Donatello stared at Raph as he slept. The stranger slept in a curled up ball under the covers as if he were trying to tuck himself away from the world. As a million and one thoughts processed though his brain and his eyes tried to keep up as they quickly moved from left to right. They were scanning him to find some familiarity, _any_ familiarity, that he once knew. The backpack had brought evidence. With evidence, it brought proof that hope was not in vain. And for all his hoping, his gut was telling him that this person, this blind, moody, panicked wreck of a human being, was Raphael Hamato.

"Raphael."

Donnie whispered his name into the air, forming every syllable with care. His eyes had locked onto the figure, unwavering now, as his muscles tensed with unabashed fear. If he answered, then they had found their brother. But at the same time, he didn't want this to be Raphael. Not this person who looked like an anorexic, drowned rat that smelled like sewer water to match the first time he walked through their door.

"Raph."

He whispered a bit louder, unconsciously biting his bottom lip as he waited again. Still, the figure never roused, and that somehow brought about a massive amount of relief to Donatello. Still, his 4am bought of paranoia wasn't yet quenched. He hungered to find out the true identity of this person, and starved more to discover the truth of his brother. There was no way that an entire corpse could disappear. He had done his research on cremating bodies, and couldn't tell his brothers just yet. The fire just was not hot enough to burn away bone, or even render it brittle enough to break. Inhaling sharply, he felt a presence creep up behind him and stop.

"_You saw the way he swung those keys, Leo_." Donnie whispered, "_and Mikey did too_."

"Lots of people swing their keys like that."

"_Leo_..."

"_This isn't Raphael_."

Leo responded in Japanese. Donnie always did think better in Japanese, Leo knew, but he didn't want him to hide behind it either; and right now, it was definitely Donatello's defense mechanism. Donnie hadn't moved from his spot as he studied Nightwatcher's sleeping face. Mikey had his arm slung over Raph protectively as he slept beside him. From the looks of it, he crawled in sometime during the night to make sure he didn't take off.

"_Even if it is, how can you prove it? Use that brain of yours. Think. This is a challenge. The most important one you might ever have. If this is him..._"

"_I know...but you saw him die._"

"_You did too. And look where you're standing now thinking that this is our brother. I'm not stupid enough to think you, of all people, are wrong. I don't think it's him. But I'm not stupid enough to completely disagree with you._"

Donnie whirled around. Leo believed him?

"I'm maybe just going crazy."

"You need sleep. Leave them alone. We'll figure things out together when he leaves."

"Right...thanks, Leo. I know it isn't...but what if he is..."

"Donnie...bed. I'll personally help you figure things out tomorrow."

Satisfied with that answer, Donnie allowed his big brother to take hold of his shoulder and lead him out of the room with a large yawn. Maybe he was going crazy. Maybe he was even hysterical. But until he could scratch that itch in his brain, he wouldn't be completely satisfied. He was no detective, but the blistering ache in his stomach told him to keep on going until he found the answer they all so desperately needed. The answer was within their reach, they just had to find out how to grasp it.

* * *

**AN:** Oh gosh so many favorites and stuff eeeee tank joo berry much gaiz you're the best!


	12. Casey Jones

Casey Jones

The rain had brought forth the cold, and with that, the fear that Leatherhead wouldn't be able to afford a down payment on an apartment before the negative temperatures rolled in. Raph had sat in the dojo all morning, one knee pulled up close so he could rest his elbow on it, as the others were in school.

Yoshi had been teaching Qi Gong to a group of adults and seniors and he was allowed to observe if he didn't get in the way. A few wall panels had been opened up to air out the dojo as the students warmed up to uncomfortable degrees, and Raph took advantage of that by situating himself where he could get a clear view of the driveway.

Leatherhead had made a deal that they wouldn't be going back to the warehouse with the new cold setting in, and so he was going to stay with an old friend so long as Raph could stay with the Hamatos. Just until the down payment could be made and the two survivalists could then regroup back at his place. Raph had agreed, obviously, but with Yoshi teaching his class, there was no time for him to explain the situation. Leatherhead was so sure that he wouldn't mind, he went ahead with the plan anyways. It left Raph a little uneasy, sure, but he was right. The family wouldn't abandon him. The thought of that was comforting, but it didn't sit well with him. He didn't want to abuse their kindness.

A cold wind blew inside, rustling the chimes hanging from the eaves, and garnering Yoshi's attention. Raph took one look at him, then at the students whom some shivered very noticeably, and Raph knew that meant to close some panels. Standing up, he slid his shut so only a sliver large enough to continue watching the driveway after his task; and continued to properly close the rest.

"Thank you."

"No prob...lem..."

He turned around to address Yoshi after he finished and saw the room bowing to him in thanks, fist close to their chest and a flat hand on top of it. Suddenly, he didn't want to be there for so long anymore. It was awkward to be thanked for doing something so stupidly small.

"Uh...you're welcome?"

Forcing a smile, he backed away, a bright hue of red spread across his face, and he took off back to the house. A red flare caught his eye, stopping him in his tracks. Two were coming back from school with a girl by their side, Mikey missing from the picture. Confused, he felt his way, out of habit, to the front door. Opening it up, ready to greet them, their conversation began to manifest in the air and he listened intently for any mention of Mikey.

"...notes from last class? I fell asleep on some parts because I was up so late trying to figure out..."

Donnie cut himself short to look up at Nightwatcher standing in the doorway.

"Hey." He peered at her bright orange hair and pursed his lips.

"Your hair is familiar..."

"Whoa...he remembered something again." Leo grinned, but the other two hadn't spoken just yet. Shaking his head, no pain this time, he changed subject.

"Where's Mikey?"

"Looking for Klunk." Donnie replied shortly, "and thanks for asking who this is."

"April O'Neil. Me and Donnie go to the same biology class. Nice to meet you...uh...Nightwatcher. Don's told me a lot about you."

"Great. Anything good?"

"Uh..."

He wasn't particularly focused on the girl right now. He was more worried about Mikey being out on his own looking for a cat he could never seem to find. A few moments of her fidgeting, trying to figure out what to say, and Raph snorted in a reply to her discomfort."I'll take that as a no. I'm going to look for Mike." He brushed past the group sticking his hands in his pockets as he did so. Leo seized his arm and held him back.

"Whoa, not so fast. How's your vision today?"

"Blurry. But I can see."

"Seeing isn't having blurry vision."

Leo's grip tightened around Raph's arm, earning a dirty glare from him. April's hands immediately, gently, took hold of Leo's hand and Raph's arm and gently pried them away from each other with a smile.

"You should listen to Leo. Mikey'll come home soon enough."

Smiling, Leo gave April's hand a quick squeeze and nodded. "Thanks, April."

"No thanks, April. I'm going to look for Mikey. I know the streets better than anyone else, and cold streets are dangerous ones."

Yanking his arm from her grasp, he turned and took off in one fluid motion. If he didn't know any better, he would say that Mikey was looking in the cargo yard for Klunk.

"Stubborn idiot..."

Leo growled and crossed his arms, glaring down the road until he disappeared from sight. Donnie clenched onto the straps of his side bag and clenched his teeth tightly together. On one hand, if it was dangerous, they all had an obligation to drag Michelangelo back home. But on the other, he didn't want to give Nightwatcher the satisfaction that he was right. Mikey was fine. This was his hometown, too. Just because he spent a couple of months on the street didn't mean that it was dangerous to Mikey. He was the one with bad friends.

"Come on, April."

"Wait, Donnie, don't you think you should at least-"

"No."

His voice was stern and commanding. He shot out one hand and grasped onto April's, tugging her along into the house. She had begun to protest but saw that he wasn't going to listen to anything she had to say and so quit. Leo caught her distraught glance and sighed. If April was worried about the situation, then it merited at least some investigation.

"I'll call Mikey..."

He mumbled, pulling his phone and entering the house behind the other two.

* * *

Raph, now in his more presentable state, had been able to ask for directions from people spending time in their lawns. The cargo yard was a hop, skip, and a jump away from the Hamato's home, and so he managed to get there in an hour's time between asking for directions and getting lost a few times. Despite the dreary day outside, he found himself enjoying the ability to not need someone to guide him through the streets. Okay, so the blurry vision wasn't making it perfect, but it was way better than darkness. In the near distance, the horizon filled with stacked cargo boxes and chain link fence.

Heavy machinery and shouting littered the air mixed in with the cars zooming on by and the trains running along its tracks. It was noisier than he remembered. Everything when he was blind was almost a blur. It seemed too surreal to even be a thing.  
Turning down the now familiar road, he scanned the ground for anything he can use to defend himself. He wasn't in immediate danger, but he knew better than to go around the cargo yard without it. If Hob and the others knew he was there in the first place, there'd be no reason for them to pay him visits every now and again.

Passing the junk yard, cars and car parts left abandoned lay in heaps. The place was in operation, sure, but maybe not this section. The main building, a small cubicle not too far from the broken-open gate, was empty. About to pass that by, a jolting din made him jump several feet and immediately ducked behind cover; grabbing a handful of rocks in the process. Any distraction was better than no distraction. A face full of rocks was better than nothing.

"He shoots, he scooooores! That's two points for Casey Jones!"

A purple-faced kid rolled out from behind a pile of cars, hockey stick held up high in the air and face split into a wide, red grin. He cupped a large gloved hand around his mouth and began to audience-cheer himself on as well, earning an amused grin from Raph. Whooping, his arm twisting in the air, he began skating in wide circles and clanged his stick against every metal surface he could find. Content that he wasn't dangerous, he dropped the rocks in his hand and began his approach. No one can be that dangerous cheering so shamelessly like that.

"One-man hockey team?"

"Whoa, a zombie!"

"Funny coming from a blueberry."

Raph retorted, crossing his arms. He studied the guy up and down, noting the large amount of hockey gear strapped to his back and then made eye contact with him again.

"What happened to you?"

"Could ask you the same thing."

Casey's reply was curt and sharp. Rolling his eyes, Raph toyed with the idea of the guys helping him out as well, but he had to find Mikey.  
Mikey.

"Well, listen, you don't look so great."

Once again, the details blurred together, but he caught the black and blue hues well enough to know that they were from fists. Meaning he was either danger or in danger. He couldn't take his chances while looking for Mikey.

"And I need to find my friend. So, I'll see you around..."

"Jones. Casey Jones. And don't you forget it."

"Right...Jones. I'll catch you later."

"Hey, wait, what's your name?"

Conflicted, Raph opened his mouth to speak but was cut off from a loud ringing in his pocket. A momentary lapse of confusion and he realized that he had a cellphone.

Fiddling with it, he answered and pressed it to his ear. Before he had a chance to speak, a loud "WHERE ARE YOU?" came from an obviously worried Mikey. Anger flared up in him, out of sheer worry, and he yelled back.

"Looking for you, dummy! Why the heck would you go back to the warehouse?"

"Your friend?" Casey asked, earning a solemn nod from Raph as he placed his hand on his hip.

"You know it's dangerous here!"

"SO WHY ARE YOU HERE? WHERE ARE YOU?"

Rolling his eyes and watching Casey sit atop a stack of tires, he clenched his fist and tried calming himself.

"Mikey, I'm at the junkyard. I'll be at the warehouse in five minutes if you can wait for me there. Hob and the others know about this place, you shouldn't have come back."

Casey strained his ears as he heard this Mikey fellow, barely audible now, say "but Klunk..." which brought upon a tight frown from his friend.

"I know, buddy. But don't go alone next time."

Now the voice on the other end was inaudible and Casey began playing with a rusty piece of metal with his stick, mouth twisted in concentration.

"Don't you gotta be somewhere, Jones? This place isn't safe."

"Says you."

"Yeah, says me. I've got old...acquaintances...hanging around in this area. You can't stay here either."

Raph kept his distance from the boy, still, even though at this point in time, he had zero reason to distrust him. He hadn't really interrupted his call nor had he wailed on him with his stick or anything. He wasn't messed up like Mondo or Pete, so he had to be okay at least, right? Raph found a second pile of tired nearby and propped himself up on that, staring over at Casey and trying to make out the circular marks on his face.

"My dad."

Casey spoke up, opening his mouth and wiggling his two front teeth a few times and wincing. Furrowing his eyebrows, face contorting in confusion, Raph made his way over to him and squinted his eyes. He was cut up pretty bad in some places. The most notable, though, was in and around his mouth, now that he could see closely. His lips were swollen considerably and his upper teeth, positioned at an awkward angle that definitely wasn't natural, began pushing against the swelling and cut through the inside lip. Both eyes had reddish-black outlines, from the corners of his eyes to the top of his cheek, of bruising.

"Jesus..."

"Yup."

"Your dad did this?"

"Uh huh, now back off."

Casey forced Raph away, now that he had time to inspect him, and watched him stumble backwards a few steps.

"I don't need your business all up in my face."

"YOU LEAVE HIM ALONE!"

Mikey.

The bundle of orange yelled as he sped to Raph's aid, fist raised to finish the job and knock the loosened teeth out of his mouth.

"Mikey, NO!"

And there was no way Raph was going to let him. He swung out an arm and caught the angry boy in the crook of his elbow, using all the strength he had to hold him back from doing anything stupid.

"You don't TOUCH him!"

Mikey yelled, his chest heaving as he held onto Raph's arm for dear life.

"Mikey, stop! He's beat up already!"

"Yeah! Black and blue here. 'Sides, I don't like people up in my face."

"He's BLIND!"

Mikey yelled, flailing against Raph's arm with every word.

"And you're LUCKY he stopped me 'cause I woulda ninja-whooped your BUTT!"

Once he stood still and crossed his arms, Raph knew that it was safe for him to let go and couldn't help but grin at the tiny boy and his bundled up arms tucked under his pits.

"You're blind? Dude, you just had to say something."

"I'm not _blind_ blind. This guy's overreacting."

If Mikey were meaner looking, Casey would have taken his menacing look more seriously. But for now, he just looked like an angry kid brother.

"Chill, I didn't know."

Casey's gloved hands rose defensively, earning a final huffing nod from Mikey, accepting his surrender, and then quickly turned to Raph.

"Why are YOU here?"

"You don't get to ask me that."

Raph poked his forehead, his face drawing into a scowl. Surveying him up and down, making sure that he was unharmed, he allowed himself to get angry at him.

"You know Hob comes here."

"Yeah, and so does Klunk."

Raph knew he wasn't going to win. Not with how adamant he was on finding his cat. Not with the way his lower lip jutted out and how his hands bundles up in white little fists at his sides. Not with the determination etched across his face. He needed to find his cat.

"Listen, just call me next time and I'll look. I'm not really busy during the day."

Just as easy as he was riled up, the boy before him smoothed him out, like a dog-eared page in a novel. He was jealous of that cat, though. If his family looked for him as hard as Mikey did, then for sure he would have been found immediately.  
A gentle smile brushed across his face very briefly before Mikey sprung towards Casey, examining him close up too.

"You're really hurt."

"Eh, it's no big deal."

"His dad."

Raph interjected, the anger flaring up again in his stomach. The anger was contagious. Mikey's eyes grew wide with anger and his fury towards Casey shifted over to his father.

"What the heck is up with that!? Dude that's so messed up! Holy cats, how the heck are you people so unlucky! What is New York turning into!?"

Raph and Casey exchanged amused glances before Raph placed a hand on Mikey's hair and ruffled his hair.

"Not everyone can be as lucky as you, Mikester."

"Yeah but..."

In a puff of smoke, his anger burned out and he was left disheartened.

"I hate it."

He jutted out his lip, Casey punching him lightly in the shoulder.

"Don't sweat it. I've got my aunt's to stay at tonight."

"I don't care! That guy isn't your dad, it's...he's...!"

"Listen, uh...Mike? Mikey? Yeah, you don't seem like a bad guy! But bad things happen to people and so uh...like...you're just like, really lucky, you know? So like...you've got lucky straws or something? I don't know."

Casey shrugged as he tried offering a shrug to Mikey. Raph understood Casey, and his half-hearted attempt to calm the younger he was so bad at it that it almost made Raph visibly cringe backwards.

"What bozo is trying to say is that he just got really unlucky in the family department."

"I'm not a kid, I can see that for myself."

The awkwardness sat in the air for what seemed to be an eternity before Raph shoved his hands deep into his pockets and kicked away a pebble, bunching his shoulders together.

"I can take you to your aunt's if you'd like."

"Nah, man, I got it. Was just blowing off steam here."

Mikey and Raph exchanged unsteady glances but nodded nonetheless. Raph studied Casey's posture and fake-as-hell smile and he knew that the kid was definitely doing more than blowing off steam. He was thinking while angry. Raph, of all people, knew that that mental state could be the most dangerous.

"Alright," he began steadily, "well...we're here for ya then if you need it. Let's go, Mikey."

One final look and Raph placed his hand on Mikey's shoulder and gave him a small nudge to start walking home.

* * *

Raph lay awake on the guest bed on the ground level of the house in complete darkness, his arm tucked behind his head as he ran through the details in his mind once again concerning Casey Jones. He wasn't his problem, but a sort of protectiveness began to wash over him and he felt responsible for leaving him alone in that sort of situation. Who would do that? If Raph was that hurt, of course the Hamatos would help him out.

"I should have done something."

He mumbled and propped himself up using his forearms. He was hurt and he didn't even do anything. Cursing himself, he hopped out of the bed and took hold of his jacket and clenched the keys inside the left pocket. If this kid was anything like him, he wouldn't go back. He'd still be there. And still hurt. Groaning as he pinched the bridge of his nose, he knew that he'd have to get him a first aid kit now at the very least as an apology.

Tip toeing out, he made his way to the laundry room by the kitchen area and opened the cupboards overhead. Scanning the clunky items in the dark just within his reach, he stretched up and tried to take out the objects out one at a time. First was a stick-woven basket smelling strongly of lavander. Then, a sewing box. Following suite was a rather large, white box with a dimly lit red cross on the top of it. Pursing his lips, he opened it and brought a few of the gauze pads and bottles close to his eyes, bringing them into focus. Content that there was enough, he replaced the articles and snapped the lid shut before slinking off towards the front door. Slipping on his new sneakers and tucking the first aid kit tightly under his arm, he took off in a sprint back towards the junkyard.

* * *

Raph's breathing came out in puffs of air in the early autumn cold. Although his eyes had improved drastically, a creeping dread crawled up his spine as the stillness of the dark enveloped him in the junkyard.

Yes, the distant sounds of cars honking their horns and trains were heard in the distance, but only his harsh breathing kept him company around him. Taking in gulps of air, he tried steadying his breathing enough to approach the darkened area where Casey was found earlier. As he walked, he took quick glances inside every car he passed to make sure he'd miss nothing. Somewhere along the tenth car, he wished he brought along a flashlight after deciding that he hated the darkness. It was actually beginning to scare him.

It was an unwelcomed companion for too long.

"What are you doing here?"

The voice popped out of the car Raph had just looked through and moved on. Stumbling backwards, the kit clattering to the ground, Raph tried to pinpoint where exactly he was. The car door opened and there was Jones, clad in black from head to toe with an overly large hood covering his face.

"You trying to kill me!?"

"You're the one skulking about here."

"Looking for you! Here!"

Raph picked up the kit and shoved it towards Casey, hitting the crook of his elbow harshly. Looking at it for a moment, absolutely bewildered, Casey fingered the latches on the kit and snapped out of his stupor.

"How'd you know I'd still be here?"

"Habit. I know your kind."

Raph seemed almost too proud of himself. The two shared a prolonged minute of silence. The awkward kind where one person is too stunned to say anything and the other just has nothing to say.

"So..."  
"Yeah..."

Raph flashed him a brief smile and shrugged.

"Bring that back when you're done, I guess."

"Where?"

"Uh..." Speaking of, Raph had no idea what their address was. "The...dojo?"

"Oh. Yeah, okay. The one with uh...the old people?"

"What? Old people?"

"Yeah." Casey pursed his lips after, forcing a teeny stream of air from them. "Well...I'll try, then."

"Yep. Okay. Otherwise I'll come back and kick your butt."

"If you can."Casey snorted back the challenge, Raph grinning from ear to ear now. With a wave of his hand, he took off back towards home. Maybe no one noticed he was gone. That would've been a boon.

* * *

**AN: So...a lot of things came up and delayed this. Lots of personal things, but it should get updated more frequently! Thanks for sticking around! Sorry for the delay, guys.**


	13. Raphael Hamato

Raphael Hamato

As the key fit snugly into the lock, the door squeaked open just enough to alarm the whole house of his arrival. Donnie had been waiting oh so patiently for his return, Raph noticed, with righteous indignation.

With Yoshi.

And Leo.

But Donnie was the one he didn't want to have to put up with. The brains of the family had been hounding after him for any sort of reason. Between wanting him to leave and trying to figure out who he was, Raph couldn't help but feel on edge every time he was confronted with him.

"Where were you?"

Leo demanded, Raph standing still in the open doorway. He clenched his jaw shut and swiped at a mosquito on his neck; unsure whether he should close the door or not. He was in for it now.

"Well? Have anything to say? Like why is the first aid kit missing? I watched you leave with it."

Donnie accused, now marching to Raph specifically just to poke his chest. Annoyed, Raph swatted it away and thought about telling him the truth about Casey. But that'd just cause trouble for him in the long run. Snitches get stitches, right?

"I went for a walk."

Donnie was fuming now. Raph wondered why he hadn't stopped him if he was so intent on pinning him down as a delinquent. Well...maybe it was better for him then if the kit went missing. Evidence to the crime, and all that.

Donnie, on the other hand, pulled at his hair and turned to Yoshi, holding out his hands at both sides exasperatingly. A sudden invisible pressure weighed on Raph's shoulders and he looked past Donatello to see Yoshi staring at him with a pair of patient, questioning eyes. No disappointment, no anger, just inquiring dark brown eyes boring holes into his own.

"Well?"

Leo crossed his arms, his patience thin as ice. Raph looked around for Mikey and saw a bundled up shadow on the floor in the kitchen. It was definitely him. And he definitely could not know why he snuck out for Casey; he'd throw a fit.

"Stashed it." What a weak lie. "In case."

"Of?" Yoshi said in a stronger voice than Raph would have imagined. Wiggling his toes uncomfortably, he shrugged.

"In case."

"That's not an answer!" Donnie pushed back on Raph's shoulder, eyebrows knitting even more tightly together.

Still, Raph pursed his lips and shrugged again. He had no good excuse. Not with Mikey around. Donnie kept shouting at him to tell and shoving his shoulder until Raph eventually shoved back-hard. Hard enough for Donnie to stumble backwards in shock. Raph's fists clenched shut as he took a defensive stance. Growling, Donnie took two steps in his direction and grabbed onto Raph's jacket with one hand, the other balling up to deliver a punch.

"Boys."

Yoshi's voice was stern enough for them to stop before a brawl ensued.

"Enough. Until you tell us where the first aid kit is, you're grounded."

"You can't ground me!"

Raph's voice rose an entire octave as he pushed Donnie away. Yoshi stared harshly at Raph and made no move to remove the punishment.

"I just did. You are to clean the dojo during the day and take school lessons from Donatello after he completes his homework. And no more 'walks.' End of discussion. Now, close the door and all of you, you too, Michelangelo, head back to bed."

Raph shot a look towards Mikey and saw the shadow move into view. Donnie shot Raph a dirty look, dirtier than usual, and stormed off to his room.  
Waving his hand, Raph turned to walk back out the door. They wouldn't trust him now after stealing the kit. It was over for him here, now.

"So that's it? Just going to take off? After everything we've done for you? After everything we've gone through?"

Mikey's words chilled Raph to the bone and stopped him dead. Now this was getting embarrassing more than anything. The thought of Mikey scolding him was downright humiliating. Growling, he stepped back and shut the door. If anything, he couldn't take the guilt that began to well up inside him. He was right. He was always right. But that didn't stop his pride from bruising just a little bit.

"I was just closing the door, no need to be dramatic about that."

He murmured before shutting the door quietly. He wanted to slam it shut with as much force as he could muster, but Yoshi was right there. It was him who was offering him a chance at redemption.  
That and Mikey, just Mikey being Mikey, made it hard for him to turn his back on him. There was no reason to punish him.

Only himself.

"Fine." Raph grumbled, "I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted. Now, bed."

Yoshi pointed upstairs. Raph began his trek towards the staircase and was greeted by Mikey's hand encircling his upper arm as if he were guiding him once again.

"I can see now, you know."  
"No you can't. You can't see what you have here at all. You were going to leave it all behind just now. Don't you ever be stupid ever again."

A cockeyed smile stretched across Raph's face before he even had a chance to realize what was happening and he remained wordless. It was just one of those times where he'd have to be scolded by someone younger than him and learn to like it.

* * *

Sunshine beams pierced through the grey clouds in the mid-afternoon, dappling through the remaining ash tree's leaves and onto the sleeping boy's face. The soft summer grass had finally frosted over overnight and sent them deep into dormancy; leaving them a pale yellow color. It seemed that the cold autumn had raced in faster than anyone could imagine. Yoshi was still teaching for the day, so his punishment couldn't yet be carried out, so the only thing left to do was wait and enjoy the final moments before the weather would become unbearably cold.  
If he weren't staying at the Hamatos, he honestly wondered what would end up happening to him in the winter time. He had no clothes of his own, so to speak, before on the streets. His own clothes were reduced to rags and were definitely summer clothes. Without the warmness of the family...  
Sighing, he closed his eyes and dug the heels of his hands deeply into them. He didn't want to think about those times. Not when it was always so precariously close to his lifestyle, still. Not when the family could legally throw him out at any given time.

Who was he kidding?

They let him stay even after he stole something from them.  
Letting his arms fall out to his sides now, he let his eyes refocus as best as they could to his view of the leaves and sky. He wasn't going to be kicked out. The fear lingered there, but he knew better. It was all a matter of shaking off the dreaded feeling and accepting the fact that this family seemed to want him for some reason.

"Enjoying the final warm days?"

The voice sent him jumping to his feet and snapping around in a full one-eighty degrees. Smiling from ear to ear, Yoshi had his cane clasped loosely in both hands out in front of him. For some reason, the glittering jade encrusted made his brain _itch_.

"Yeah. Uh...I didn't steal it to make anyone mad."

The words fluttered out his his mouth before he could even stop himself. Carefully choosing his next words, he dug his hands in his pockets and tried bringing them close enough to touch. God, why was this so stupidly hard?

"You can't tell Mike. I wanted to tell you back there, but Mikey was there. Back at the junkyard we ran into some guy who was beat up. His dad beat him up, how messed up is that?"

Yoshi listened with earnest. Realizing this somehow made his entire being lighter. It was just...wow. Just wow.

"I wanted him to at least patch himself up. He said he's going to his aunt's, but I know better. He's not that kind of person."

"You can relate to him." Striking all the right chords in his soul, Raph nodded and slackened his grips on the insides of his pockets.

"I told him to bring it back, but I know he probably can't. It's stupid, I should have told you, but Mikey thinks the world is so good. He doesn't like seeing the bad, you know? Man, he shouldn't have to. It's not fair."

It's not, Raph thought ruefully. It was terrible and awful and riddled with grimy people wanting to get their grubby hands on all the horrible things in the world and suffocate it until it turns necrotic and-

"It isn't. This is why people like you and Michelangelo exist-to make it better each day."

Once more, his thought process was completely derailed and he could only stutter on his syllables until Yoshi spoke up again.

"It is kind of you to try and protect Michelangelo from the truth, but he knows already. He spoke to me about it."

"What...?"

Raph's question was only a little more than a breath. So he was brooding all this time for nothing?

"Though I do appreciate you telling me yourself. Thank you."

Scratching at his temple with a jagged fingernail, Raph nodded and balled his other hand in a fist inside his pocket. Man, it was weird. This family was wigging him out one way or the other.

"On that note, how are your eyes today?"

Eyes. Right.

"Uh...they're fine."

Yoshi's right eyebrow arched dramatically and that's when Raph knew that he wasn't going to let him go with just a 'fine.' Not when the man was normally so level-headed and calm when things were open to interpretation. This was definitely not one of those cases.

"Not better or worse. It's just the same as yesterday. Blurry."

His response earned him another dramatic 'hmm' from Yoshi. The older man's mouth tweaked left to right in thought before he nodded a few times.

"Donatello has an old pair of glasses he could give you. Maybe you had a vision problem before you lost your memories."

"No way."

Raph's response was immediate, earning another arching brow from Yoshi.

"I mean, I know I didn't. I don't know, it's just a feeling."

He stammered out, pursing his lips as he looked off to the side at nothing in particular and shrugged. He couldn't explain it any other way than that.

"Well, maybe it's just what you need now."

"No way."

There was something about Yoshi's stare that meant business. Sighing in defeat, Raph lolled his head back and let out a long 'FIIIIINE' before smirking.

"Does that mean I'm not punished anymore?"

"Of course not." Grinning from ear to ear, the older man turned on his heel and began to make his way back to the house.

"The others come home soon. I suggest cleaning the dojo before study time."

* * *

Peering through the prescription-strength circular glasses, Raph couldn't help but feel defeated as the smaller words and numbers came into focus on Donnie's paper. Beside him, Donnie was too amused with the other boy's defeatist attitude.

"Well?"

Sighing in annoyance, Raph shut his eyes tight and frowned.

"Yeaaaah..."

"Yeaah...?"

Donnie egged on, his hand moving in a circular motion as if saying 'come on.'

"They work...maybe too much or too little, it's still just a little foggy."

Beaming in triumph, Donnie spread out different sets of notes in front of him and smirked.

"Ready for history?"

"Dude, this writing is too tiny. Forget glasses, I need a microscope to read." Raph stuck out his tongue as he leaned in closer to read the teeny tiny letters. Or numbers. Or whatever he wrote.

"Well, I need to get it all down from the board otherwise how am I supposed to study?"

About to protest Donnie's protest, a loud crash sounded down the hallway and they exchanged worried glances instead.

"Mikey..."

They sighed in unison and stood up, abandoning their studies. Down the hallway was Mikey standing over three large boxes now spilled out everywhere on the floor. A mix of papers, crayons, coins, cards, and other knick knacks littered absolutely everywhere and worst of all was the upset expression scrawled across Mikey's face.

"What are you doing with all this?"

Ah. Donnie's annoyed voice. This meant that it concerned their deceased brother. Especially when the taller brother eyed each piece of item with what seemed to be a mixture between disgust and sadness.

"Moving it out of the storage closet to the attic."

Mikey replied in a disheartened voice. He bent over and angrily shuffled them back into the boxes. Donnie brushed past Raph and knelt next to Mikey; arms reached out and taking hold of his little brother's shoulders and frowning.

"Why?"

"His old friends think that we owe them on his behalf. Posthumously."

"Big word from you."

Raph snorted, earning a death glare from Donnie. Pursing his lips, Don took a couple of boxes from Mikey and stepped away from him.

"Let me help, then."

"Why? They're not going to be any safer in the attic. Just leave them where they were. Don't let assholes like them bother you."

"That's not the point!"

Mikey cried out, his eyes shimmering with tears that he held back. Raph held out both hands at his side, motioning for him to explain. But Mikey just stood there; angry and fierce. There was no logical reason for them to move the boxes, but the act itself bothered Raph. It's like they were just trying to shove their deceased brother away in the attic. It felt _wrong_.

"Whatever. I'll help. Just don't cry, dummy."

Sighing through his nose, Raph leaned over and picked up the remaining stray pencils and what looked like to be prehistoric math homework and books and offered a forced smile. Puffing out his chest, Mikey nodded and wiped his eyes on his shoulders before moving towards the end of the hallway and into Leo's room. Raph stole the moment to look around and take in his surroundings with clarity. Photos of him with his brothers lined his tall, wooden dresser. In mounted glass cases held trophies upon trophies that he had won throughout his life. Notably were fighting trophies and even some relating to running. Twin katanas were mounted just over his bed and looked polished to a sheen. He had to be very proud of those.

"Nice glasses, four eyes."

"Laugh now while you can. These are only temporary."

Raph shot back instantly. He looked up at the hole in the ceiling and saw a mischievous smile and twinkling blue eyes in the shrouded darkness. Leo was watching his every move and found it oddly interesting.

"Of course. Like anything you see?"

"Nope."

Raph grinned back as he handed up the papers and pencils. As Leo reached out and grasped onto them, the math paper fluttered back with the wind just enough for him to catch a name starting with 'Ra' before Leo pulled it upwards.

"Boxes."

Leo's demand was curt and Donnie pushed past him to start handing him one box at a time.

Raph was frozen to the spot as he stared wide eyed at Donnie. The guy was a genius for a reason, right? There was definitely a reason he thought something was up with this outsider. This person...

"Dude, you alright? Looks like you saw a ghost."

Mikey spoke quietly, nudging him in the ribs with his elbow. Still, the waves cascaded all around Raph. His hands and lips were cold and numb. Ra...? There's no way that this could be just a coincidence.

"What's the name of your dead brother?"

Everyone now froze. Donnie's arms had stopped midway into giving a box to Leo. The biggest taboo was broken. Mikey cleared his throat and brought the attention of the room to him. It was what Mikey did.

"How 'bout we finish this up, huh? And then we can go to the park! Right? Game of soccer anyone? With pizza?"

One awkward minute passed (Raph counted), before Leo jerked Donnie's box inside the attic and nearly took his brother in with him. Donnie then turned to Raph and pursed his lips so tightly that they began turning white. It was going to be uncomfortable, he knew, but everything was just too coincidental.

"Why? Did you know him?"

Donnie finally asked. Leo reappeared from the darkness and watched on from overhead. Shrugging, Raph licked his drying lips and shoved his hands into his pocket but almost glared back at the tallest brother.

"I dunno. Can't say for sure unless I know his name. I might have street connections, you know. It's just with all this commotion about him, I thought that maybe I could ask around. I know lots of people on the street, so maybe I could help with the search, y'know? Find out what happened-"

"Raphael."

Mikey shot before he could even finish his sentence.

"Raphael Hamato."

All eyes fell on him now. Raph's breathing quickened and eyes widened for mere moments before he forced himself to normalcy again.

"I'll take note of it."

Raph could feel his chest compress as he breathed out the words. Raphael was him. He was Raph. But was he THE Raph they were looking for? It couldn't be, could it? This wasn't some three thousand piece puzzle and he was the final piece to it. If he was, then wouldn't he be dead? They thought him dead. No, their Raph was dead. Dead and taboo like their mother.  
"Are you going to help or just stare at the ground?" Donnie shot, shoving a box into Raph's hands as he spoke. Clearing his throat, Raph grasped onto the box and nodded.

"What uh...where did you say he went missing again?"

* * *

**AN: Thanks for all your reviews and faves and continued support! Hope you enjoyed the read!  
**


	14. About Messes

About Messes

Huddling close to the open warm air vent by the bakery, Raph savored the kitchen heat in the cold autumn air. It was somewhere close to thirty-two degrees out, he figured. Cold enough to want a warm mug of hot chocolate or tea...  
Tea. Yeah, that's what he wanted. Yoshi made pretty great tea.

"Should open up a tea shop..."

Raph murmured, sniffling a few times before tucking his fingers under his thick woolen scarf layered three times around his face and neck. Continuing on his journey, he silently thanked Donnie that he still had his old glasses laying around. The world around him was vibrant and colorful and he could almost forget a time when it was just black and bleak. People and buildings blossomed into life around him and the noises that he used to hate? Now were symphonies dedicated to the lives of New York city. Crunching on every leaf he could find, he kept his eyes peeled for street names and tried wracking his brain for familiar places. Anything that could jog his memory or even bring the sense of deja vu back to him.

Donnie said that he...Raphael Hamato...was last seen near...

"Here."

Raph rounded the corner and saw a completely leveled building cordoned off with a mix of cement blocks and rope and yellow tape. A sign had been hammered in the front with a large SOLD labeled stuck across it. Right beside it was another sign reading 'future site of Greener Condos!' in yellow lettering. It sickened him. Lifting up the rope and tape, Raph passed under and began toeing the debris around him. All larger pieces of metal had been taken away, leaving only shrapnel bits and warped screws laying about the area. Sighing through his nose, he looked at the blocked off alleyways and clenched his teeth a bit. Fear began to gnaw at his gut. He knew exactly what he was looking for, and it scared the ever-living daylights out of him. If what he found was right, then he really was Raphael Hamato. He had been home all this time.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he made his way to the alleyway and felt his chest heaving with anxiety. He couldn't breathe until he found what he was looking for. On one side of the alleyway, he found a large metal plate covering the asphalt. Digging his fingers under it, he hoisted it mere centimeters off the ground and dragged it to the side just enough to see an open hole. An lidless manhole leading to the sewers. Breathing quickly, he snapped around and ran to the other alleyway and looked for any signs of manholes or metal plates.

Nothing.

His lungs ached for oxygen and as a hand flew up to his temple. This had to be it. He woke up in the sewers. This made sense! All of this made so much sense!

All signs of how big the explosion was had been swept away by wind and time; but the alleyways being blocked off the way they were suggested that it had been large enough to merit those closures.

Swallowing air in five short gasps, he returned to the now open manhole in a stumble. Plopping down in a heap on the ground, Raph fumbled to pull out his cellphone. He went over his list of names and couldn't decide who to call. He had to telll someone, but who? Who would believe that he thought he was their brother? This wasn't some kind of Hollywood movie.

Shutting his phone, he pocketed it and looked down at the black abyss into the sewers. He was no stranger to sewers. It was just...what if it was what he was looking for? That this was the nail in the coffin to all his questions?

Taking in a deep breath, he looked around and swung his legs in and began his descent. The smell immediately made him gag, but it was not a deterrence whatsoever. Climbing down, he pulled out his phone once more before he hit the bottom and scanned the area. As he thought, the light could only go so far. He'd have better luck in the immediate area for bloodstains or...or...anything. Just a clue.

When Raph hit the bottom, sewer water immediately squelched inside his sneakers and traveled up his pants. Worst of all? Wet socks. Wet socks have a way to make any situation feel worse than they are.

With a deep scowl and a few gags, Raph shone the light on the rails and walls. Of course all blood would be washed away with rain, but one thing it didn't get rid of was a long strip of brown cloth with a red design on it. It was hard to make out, as only half of it was actually there, but he plucked it from the rail and pocketed it anyway. Inhaling deeply, and regretting it instantly, he trudged down the corridor. He'd only go in a straight line. No turns or slight banks. It was straight and that was it. No reason to risk getting lost because of a hunch. If anything, the cloth was a clear enough indication that someone was down there. Or at least someone lost a piece of their shirt and discarded it down there, then the whole thing would have been for naught. And gross.

As much as he wanted to turn back because of the cold beginning to bite through him, he knew that the days would only get colder and he risked losing his only lead to finding out who he was.

Trailing his hand along the walls as he went, breathing still and shallow, he heard distant echoes in the tunnels. Stopping, he covered his mouth and nose with the crook of his elbow and listened. Minutes passed and he decided to keep going. The echoes were far away still. They sounded like voices, but it was probably misleading. It had to be the voices from up top finding a way to reverberate throughout the sewers. Content with this, he pressed on. If anything, he could always turn back.

Thirty minutes had passed. Looking away from the brightly lit phone in the darkness, Raph shivered violently. So far, he had found nothing but the shirt. He wasn't even sure anymore if there was anything worth investigating further. He had found his literal shred of evidence; there was nothing keeping him from going home now to a warm shower.

"Piss Off?"

Nothing but Mondo. Only then did he realize that the mixed sounds of his own teeth chattering, shivering, and the splashing had covered up any other sounds he might have heard in the sewers. Coming face-to-face with Mondo was the last thing he thought he'd be doing.  
"What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be here."  
"N-not gonna beat me up like...like last time?" Damn his chattering teeth.  
"What? That was you? Duuuude, Hob's got connections, man. We get so fucked up, we just lay there and like...duuude. Mind blowing."

Raph's face scrunched up in disgusted confusion. He definitely needed to head back before Mondo could try anything.  
"Where's Hob anyways?"  
"Up top. It's just me here, friendo. Hey, wanna chill for a bit? The base is close and I could totally use a spotter for five minutes. There's this new-"  
"What? No! What the hell, man, don't do shit like that. You're gonna fuck up your brain. What's wrong with you?"

Raph spat out, tucking his phone away in his pocket. Mondo gave him an all-too wide smile and shrugged. "Hey, man, we're already fucked up down here. A little more won't hurt. Actually, it feels good. Come on, just spot me for five minutes, okay? Then I'll show you a quick way out of here."  
Raph pursed his lips and growled. He didn't want to, but how could he say no? He was going to do it on his own anyways, so the least he could do was keep him safe...  
"You owe me, Piss Off. I saved your ass. You owe me."  
Raph growled again. He was right. He did owe the slimy lizard.

"Fine. One thing, though." Raph pointed a thumb behind him and managed to keep his chin from trembling long enough to ask him, "did you find me back there all those months ago?"  
"What? Yeah, why? You were so fucked up, man. Blood. Everywhere. So what, you gonna repay me now?"

Numb. Raph nodded because his lips were too numb to move. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he blindly followed Mondo to the old lair. His heart was beating furiously in his throat and he couldn't breathe, let alone speak. Good thing Mondo was good at that.

The further they walked through the tunnels, the brighter it became. When the lair came into view, Raph could make out several small fires in old, rusty washing machine drums. If anything, at least the place was warm. Mondo bounded over to a small sitting area and picked up a homemade bong. Frowning, Raph crossed his arms and also saw several pills and needles.  
"Don't tell me you actually do this. Mondo, you can't do this, man. You can't fuck yourself up like this."

Mondo threw his fists on the table and pointed an accusing finger at Raph.  
"You. Are not the boss of me. Just fucking make sure I don't trip out too hard."  
Throwing his hands up in the air in defeat, Raph fell back on a large bean bag and crossed his arms, giving Mondo the stink eye. In that moment, he hated him. The only thing that kept him there was a favor owed. Nothing more. Watching as Mondo filled and lit up whatever he was using, Raph scoffed and turned his attention to anything else in the room. It was better than watching the sorry excuse for a human snuff out his life a bit at a time.

* * *

A stinging prick jolted Raph to life. Mondo was looming over him and laughing like that time at the warehouse. Jumping to his feet, Mondo keeled backwards and giggled as he landed hard on his back. Raph tried catching his breath to understand what just happened. He was asleep. Alright, this place was almost like his home. That much was understood, he finally felt like he was somewhere of his very own. But the prick...?  
Looking down at his arm, he saw his sleeve had been rolled up and arm tied off just above the elbow. All the veins in his arm were now visible, so maybe it had been there for a little too long? What the hell...

"Got you. I got you!"

"Got me? What the fuck-"

An intense rush flooded through his veins. It cycled through his body, from his arm to his spine, and he fell back on his bean bag. His body grew stock still for no longer than ten seconds before an explosion of pleasure overcame him. Fire caressed his skin and ran along his fingers. His head slowly twist from one side to the other as a euphoric, blissful sensation of calm washed over him; wave after wave. It was a heavy, woolen blanket on a bitter winter's night. God's very light warming him from the inside out.  
Life felt...good.  
Hell, he felt fantastic. For the first time since his hell began, he felt like he was safe and warm from all of the world's scary things. The dark, the Hamatos, the truth...this was real. This shivering warmth was intoxicating. It was welcoming. It was what he wanted all along.

Neck veins now popping out as both hands rose to the side of his head, Raph relaxed back in the bean bag and took in one long, deep breath and released it steadily. He was sleepy again. He was relaxed. This...whatever it was? This thing loved him. His breathing was evened. Anxiety had all but gone. It was not only a physical warmth that draped around him, but also mental. He felt so safe and secure even with Mondo laughing beside him.

"Feels good, huh?"

Mondo giggled, squishing his cheeks together as if he were checking to see how numb his face was.

"Hob has more. More!"

"What is this?"

Raph's question was so slurred, he didn't even know when the sentence ended. It just sort of blurred out to a hissing noise. Mondo was giggling so much that he couldn't even answer Raph's question anymore. It didn't matter. Sleep was overwhelming Raph and he had to indulge in it.

* * *

Another startling awakening. Mondo had deep, dark circles under his eyes. Shivering violently and drenched in sweat, Raph sat up carefully. His bones almost creaked and groaned under such little strain that he felt his stomach heave. Two seconds later and he turned to the side and vomited everything he had in his stomach.

"How you feeling, Piss Off?"

"Like hell...what the f-fuck was that..."

Another heave and more puke splattered on the ground. Mondo just stared down at him and kept his hands in his pockets. Raph clenched at his elbows and felt like crying. This was the worst feeling ever. He felt so...so old. Like an old person just about ready to blow away in the wind.

"Heroin. And whatever else Hob might've mixed in there, if anything at all. Heck if I know. Anyway, he's coming back soon. You need to fuck on out of here."

"You drugged m-me?"

Raph coughed out, now feeling tears actually stinging his eyes. This was a bad idea. He knew it was a bad idea. It was such a stupid, fucking horrible idea.

"Hey man, totally not my fault. I was sky high, man. I do weird shit. That's why I needed you to spot me, man. This is on you."

Mouth gaping open, staring at his multi-colored puke, betrayal set deep in his gut. Mondo wasn't wrong, though. He did fall asleep when he was asked to spot. It...it wasn't Mondo's fault.

"Get me out of here."

He mumbled, standing up in a hunched position and allowing himself to follow had a chance to find out who he was, and he completely ruined it. "I fucked up, Mondo..."

"Yeah, you did. Welcome to the club. Don't worry. Here? We accept screw ups of all kinds. Especially blind ones. Hey, since you obviously found a new place, you might as well take your crap with you on the way out."

Raph watched as Mondo made his way over to a stack of pallets and pulled out a bundle of clothes, a swiss army knife, and half-melted water bottle.

"Let's go, man. Hob's not gonna like that you let me give you his good stuff."

Taking hold of his items in frigid hands, the took off towards an exit that led to the outside somewhere.

* * *

The sun had set beyond the freedom tower in Lower Manhattan. Mondo had led him to the ladder out and disappeared back into the depths of the sewers on his own. Sniffling, Raph pressed his back against a brick wall and began sobbing. He felt so...violated. The evidence of who he was, the betrayal, the heroin experience...and the worst part? He liked it.  
A ringing noise suddenly stopped and brought his attention to the phone in his pocket. Wiping his nose on the back of his sleeve, he dug out his cell and looked at the screen. Twenty seven missed phone calls and thirty text messages. Of course there was no signal in the sewers...there was no way he could have known.

The sobbing grew in intensity as he rubbed at his eyes and sank to the ground, letting his arm hang over his knee. They had no idea what was going on with him, no idea what kind of trouble he had gotten himself into, and they were still trying to contact him.

Mustering up the courage, he wiped at his eyes and nose once again and began going through the text messages one by one. "Where r u?" "hello?" "answer ur phone" "r u coming home for supper?" "Dad's getting worried about you, man." "are you going to come study or what?" "did you get lost?" "hello?" "?" "please answer your phone. We are all getting worried about you."

Leo's last message sent him into a crying fit. He had trouble discerning the names at one point in time from all the tears that accumulated in his glasses and blurred up his vision, but it was understood that he was wanted. At the very least, they cared about his well being.  
The phone began ringing once more in his hand. Wiping his glasses, he read the name "Hamato Yoshi" on the screen. Clearing his throat, he wiped his nose a final time before answering with a weak "hello?"

"Nightwatcher? Are you all right? We've been trying to call you for hours. The boys went out to search for you. Where are you?"

No. No matter how good that heroin was, hearing Yoshi's voice was even warmer. His face drew back as he tried holding onto his tears.

"I..." His voice cracked. There was the dead giveaway.

"I fucked up...so bad."

He sobbed, pressing his forehead into his other hand; his belongings held firmly between his chest and knees.

"I fucked it up so bad. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, fuck, I'm sorry..."

His words were broken up by uncontrollable sobbing and hiccups.

"Are you hurt? What happened? Talk to me, Nightwatcher."

Yoshi's voice was laced with worry and...fear? Doing his best to regain control of his emotions, Raph pulled the phone away from his ear and wiped his eyes and nose on the back of his sleeve again before pressing it against his ear again.

"Breathe, and explain."

Yoshi tried calming him through the phone. God, it was almost embarrassing. Wiping his face again, he breathed in and out slowly a few times and bit his lip.

"I think I found some of your son's belongings. And I just...fuck, I messed up. I ran into Mondo and he drugged me...and it's just...it felt so _good_ but I never meant for it to happen. I never meant for it to happen, I just wanted to find some answers. I just wanted some answers..."

"Are you safe where you are?"

Raph blinked a few times. Why wasn't he asking about his son? Why wasn't he even concerned with that? It was his son! Raph wasn't...

"I...don't know. I don't know. God, just...I don't know. I'm sorry."

"Can you get somewhere safe?"

Where was safe?

"I don't know."

"You need to tell me where you are. I'll come pick you up right away. Where are you?"

Lower Manhattan. Come on. Lower Manhattan. You can say it.

"Breathe..."

Yoshi's gentle reminder snapped him out of the anxiety for a moment and grounded him. He took in a few shaky breaths and looked up at the freedom tower.

"Lower Manhattan. I can get to the freedom tower from here."

"Get there. Get to a bus stop and call me when you do. I have to call the other boys home. Stay in view. I'm on my way. Can you do that for me?"

A surge of relief overwhelmed him and he started crying again, croaking out a small "yes" before burying his forehead in his palm again. He didn't want to hang up. His lifeline was on the phone and the last thing he wanted to do was shut it. So he listened to Yoshi breathing for a few seconds. It was a strange thing to do, but the shuffling of a coat and just the idea that someone was on their way to help him made him feel so...loved.

"I messed up, didn't I?"

Raph asked quietly now, letting the small streams of tears continue to leak out of the corners of his eyes. What a huge disappointment he was.

"A little. We all mess up sometimes, Nightwatcher. It's what we choose to do afterwards that defines us. I will be there in twenty minutes, maybe thirty. Please wait for me."

A brief smile crossed Raph's lips as he nodded and stood up again in his hunched over position.

"_Hai_, sensei."

* * *

**AN: Kuh-bam. Hopefully in the feels. Thank you to all the reviewers. Man, you guys are really REALLY amazing. Thank you so very much! Enjoy a quick chappie!  
**


	15. Ignorance is Bliss

Ignorance is Bliss

Two percent battery left at seven in the evening. The streets were dark but aglow with the people passing by and going about their business. Except for the fact that a stray boy sat on the ground with a bundle of items in hand and dilated pupils staring straight ahead at nothing in particular. The high was love, but the coming down was a straight descent into stone. Sweat matted his clothes to his skin but also allowed to cool air to chill him to his very core. Shivering violently, he tried clutching on tighter to his sewer soaked clothes to keep the warmth in as much as possible.  
As he craned his neck to look up at the sky, he could feel his entire spine protest in agony. How much of a dose was he given? Enough to knock him out for a couple of hours, sure. The question was the quantity. His entire day was wasted on a mistake that could have been avoided if he just hadn't fallen asleep.  
Raph jumped to his feet and leaned a sewer grate as quickly as he could to throw up once more. The heroin wasn't sitting in him right at all. How did people even think it was worth the high they got?  
Groaning, he sat back down and garnered the disgusted looks from the people passing by. Bundling the clothes up against his chest, Raph leaned in and buried his face inside the mound. He was at the bus stop but the battery life on his phone was too dangerously low to make the call. It'd probably use one percent to make the call alone and even then, he wouldn't be able to stay on for very long.

Still...

Flipping it open, he turned his head to the side and made the call he needed to. He wanted to sleep again. Sleep of the toxins and wash away the warmth of the high. It was disgusting.

"Hey..."

"Are you at the bus stop?"

It was Leo. God. At least it wasn't Mikey. He didn't want the kid to pick him up in this state. Sure, he'd see him back at home, but at least there was this buffer zone.

"Yeah sorta. I'm at the library across the street from it. At the corner. The one where the guy tries to sell his memorial magazines."

"Oh. That guy. He seems skeevy to me."

"Thankfully he isn't here at this hour."

Raph smiled, his cheek pressing against his scarf as he closed his eyes. There was a build up of silence for a moment before Raph remembered his battery level.

"I've one or two percent battery left on the phone."

"Tell him we'll stay on the line as long as possible."

It was Yoshi's voice. Of course, Leo would have it on speaker.

"Thanks. How far away are you?"

"Traff-"

The phone line went dead. Of course. Just enough to say his day could actually get slightly shittier than it already was. Stuffing it inside his wad of items, he buried his face inside the bundle once more and let himself relax as much as his bones would let him. He let his shoulders slump as forwards as they could go and let himself just...relax. Away from everything right now, he felt vulnerable. Exposed. It wasn't fair. He didn't mean for all this to happen. All he wanted was answers.

"I'm Raphael..."

He spoke to himself, as if trying to convince himself of this truth. He had to be. All the signs pointed to him. The memory loss seemed like such a convenient way to not commit entirely to that truth. Even if he was, what would he say to his...family? They were family, right? Yeah. The Hamatos were his family. Mikey was his brother and Leo and Donnie and Yoshi was his father.

But there was no way. These people...these people loved their Raphael. They looked for him. They tried to find him high and low and they went back to the scene of the crime time and time again and found nothing.

Except, they didn't have really a reason to search in the sewers. Why would they? He wasn't even sure himself how he ended up there. Hell, was the missing person even him? Mondo said that these were his items. The precious bundle in his arms? His. It was just stupid clothes and stuff he had no recollection of. But Mondo said it was on him. So it was his. Meaning he was at the explosion. Meaning he was the missing person. Meaning he was Raphael Hamato.

God, what part was so hard to wrap his head around? The theory wasn't that flawed. This was good news! Great news! He found out who he was! He should be celebrating, right?

No, God. How the heck would he even tell the family? How can you up and claim rights to being someone when you can't even remember who you are? It wasn't right. It wasn't right to put the family through that kind of turmoil, especially when they had grieved so deeply.

"HEY!"

Two rough hands tilted his head up from the clothing and Raph suddenly drew in a deep, ragged breath before coughing. He had fallen somewhere between awake and sleeping and nearly suffocated himself all because of the damn drugs.

"What happened?"

It was Leo. Thank God.

"I found these..."

Raph presented all the evidence. He needed to know. Before he got any sort of help, he needed to know who these belonged to.

"These...that's Raph's. Where did you find these? What the hell...his knife? We didn't even notice this missing. And his water bottle? It's melted...where did you get these?"

Raph went numb. He covered his face with both his hands and slowly slid them to the back of his head, clasping it there. Bewildered, Leo tearfully went over the items in his hand and choked back a sob. Reaching into his jacket, Raph finally pulled out the ripped piece of shirt and held it up, frowning deeply.

"This?"

"You're freaking me out...where have you been all day? You smell like...you smell like sewage? You were in the sewers? You found these in the sewers!?"

Leo was almost fanatical now. He paced back and forth until Yoshi's car pulled up to the curb and he got out. Looking up at the sprinting man, Raph could feel the guilt in his heart weigh him down and suddenly he wished that he had the heroin again. Maybe it'd-

No.

Not ever again. Never, ever, ever again.

"Are you hurt? What happened? Look at me. Show me your eyes."

Splinter instantly knelt in front of the broken teen and placed both hands around his face. Still, Raph couldn't look at him. Not with his dilated eyes and tear-stained glasses.  
Still, Yoshi gently removed them and thumbed his cheek; his face drawn back with sorrow. Only then could Raph really count the wrinkles that had slowly etched itself in the man's face throughout the years.

"Dad. Look, he found-"

"Leonardo. Not now."

"He found Raph's stuff! Look!"

Leo shoved everything in between the two of them and before Yoshi had a chance to get mad at how abrasive his eldest was being, he was instantly shut down. Ever so gently, with loving hands, he picked at the articles one at a time and looked back up at the small, green eyes before him.

"Where did you get these?"

"He's covered in sewer water. He was there all day."

Leo accused. Secretly, he was relieved that they were found in the first place. No one actually dared to venture through the dark and dirty places. At least this guy was capable. He could because he lived there. Because he was...

"Where?"

Yoshi demanded a second time, earning a pained look from Raph. He recoiled back into his hands and arms and shook his head. It wasn't right. It was so, so wrong.

"You can tell me."

"They're mine..."

He wheezed out. A floodgate had opened and the tears wouldn't stop now.

"They were on me when I fell in the sewers..."

A mixture of sobbing and shivering made him seem so...pathetic. Yoshi withdrew his hand and looked up at Leonardo. Leo was just as confused as he was. It was just as Raph had imagined it. A mixture of confusion and disbelief. Could they really blame them?

"Raph?"

Leo croaked out, earning a small nod from his supposed younger brother. Unable to bear him taking his time to answer questions, Yoshi took hold of Raph's shoulders and gave him a gentle shake that made him look up. No words were exchanged. Yoshi needed to know how much he failed as a father in being unable to recognize his own son. It was hard. The eyes were the same, but everything else? It was just so...bony. He was skin and bones. His son was still lost to time.

"Are you sure?"

Nodding a few times at the older man's question, he bit his lower lip and took in a deep breath before continuing.

"I lied...when I said I didn't remember my name."

"Bullshit!"

Leo snapped, eyes wider than dinner plates. Though, when Raph shook his head, he felt his heart sink down to his feet.

"Leatherhead knows my name. He's the only one. Call him. I knew my name was Raph, though. Just Raph! No other name! I'm not even sure if I'm..."

He couldn't finish the sentence. There was no other way for him to say "surprise! I'm actually your long lost son! Accept me!" It was just so...stupid.

"This is insane. You don't expect us to just believe this nonsense? Dad, come on."

Yoshi was immovable. They all had their hunches, sure, but for him to outright say it was a blow to the heart he hadn't had the time to brace for. Sighing, he stood up and nodded a few times.

"It is...difficult. We will deal with it later. For now, let's get you home. Leonardo."

Yoshi turned to his eldest and his tone changed from angry to dutiful.

"I'll call the others to let them know we're on our way home."

Helping Raph up, Yoshi escorted him quietly to the car and helped him inside. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

A loud creak shocked Raph awake and he quickly swatted out in front of him only to hit the back of the driver's headrest. Breathing harshly, he looked around and saw that they had pulled into the driveway of the Hamato residence. The lights and moving shadows in the house were a welcoming sight. Rubbing his eyes, he realized that his door open on his side was what scared him awake. Leo had waited for him to realize it too. Unbuckling himself, he slid out of the car and into the cold air once again and gathered his belongings in his arms once more.  
Yoshi went to unlock the door and looked back as Leo led Raph up the driveway. The older man's heart shattered into millions of pieces and he couldn't bear to look any longer. If this was his son? Truly?

"Nightwatcher! Leo!"

Mikey sprinted over to the two and threw his arms around Raph. One smell and he pulled away, a wise-crack comment about to escape from him until he noticed how off Raph looked.

"What happened?"

Raph frowned and just pushed the bundle into Mikey's arms before following Yoshi quietly. The significance of the bundle hit him like a ton of bricks and left him stupefied. Wordlessly, Raph pushed past him and left the youngest with more than a million questions burning on his tongue.

"Shower and bed. We'll talk about this in the morning."

Yoshi's voice was tired and worn. It wasn't the usual calm and gentle tone he was used to. Nodding, Raph kicked off his shoes outside of the door and slid the sludge-covered socks off his feet. Carrying the socks with him to the bathroom in a tightly clenched fist, he could feel Donatello's gaze boring holes through him. He buried his chin in his chest and quickly hurried to the shower to escape his glare. Only when the shower door closed behind him did he feel his chest heave and small gasps escape from him.

"Nightwatcher?"

Mikey's voice begged Raph to open the door. It was small and questioning. It wasn't what he needed right now.

"I'm...I'm showering."

He responded and quickly turned the small lock on the handle. There was no way he wanted him to see his state in full light. As a matter of fact, he didn't even want to be talking to him about what happened throughout the day.

"Fine."

Mikey's reply was curt enough to worry Raph. The kid was too bright to be shut up because of him.

* * *

Stepping out of the shower, Raph realized that he hadn't picked up a fresh batch of clothes and was stuck with the smelly sewer water ones. Frowning, he wrapped himself in a towel and sat on the closed toilet bowl. He bunched up his long hair in his hands and squeezed out the excess water onto the bathmat under him and frowned. Now it was time to face the music outside. Donnie would definitely harp on him until he provided a full, detailed explanation on what happened. Could he blame him?

"I have your clothes here."

It was Mikey's voice once again. Now he definitely didn't want to open the door. Mikey had to have been waiting the entire time.  
Unlocking the door, Raph opened the door slightly and saw Mikey's small hands holding a pair of pajamas out to him. Just his hands. Taking it from him, the young boy's hands retracted and he himself closed the door.

Now that just stung.

Drying off and dressing, Raph began cleaning up the bathroom just to stall for time. He had to face Mikey outside.

"Are you feeling better?"

Mikey asked suddenly, Raph barely able to hear him. Heaving a mighty sigh, he approached the door and slunk down to the ground with his back pressed against the wood.

"Yeah. Loads."

"That's good. We were worried."

"I know."

Raph's eyebrows knit together at Mikey's calmness. It wasn't him. But he knew exactly what was bothering him. Standing up, he opened the door and looked down to see a bundled up Mikey; knees drawn tightly to his chest and deep, deep frown scrawled across his face.  
Raph hated it. He hated himself for making the joyous kid now so withdrawn.  
Reaching out and gripping his hand, Raph pulled him into the bathroom with him in one huge haul and closed the door again; locking it.

"Ask."

The way he huffed his chest; his now fierce eyes, determined and absolved, one hand clenched at his side and the other one in Raph's own tightly closed fist, he asked.

"Are you Raph?"

It was almost cathartic. Finally, to be asked outright and unflinching. No yelling, no astute confrontation. Just sad eyes pleading 'why.'

Raph caught himself smiling. Releasing Mikey's hand that had now turned white, he physically wiped the smile off as he drew both hands down his face and then stared him in the eye.

"I don't know. I don't know anymore. My name is Raphael. That's all I know for certain. I woke up blind in the sewers. Mondo and Pete found me and nursed me back to health and I was with Hob for a long time."

"I see."

Mikey was just...still and silent. It bothered Raph.

"I lied about my name because I was scared, alright? I didn't know it'd be important enough for you guys to know my name. I didn't know your brother had the same name otherwise I would never have lied in the first place, alright?"

He was still upset. Mikey was floored and Raph wanted to do everything in his power to pick him up again.

"Mondo told me that those things I brought back? He found those on me. Maybe I've always been a crook. Hell, who knows? I might have snatched it off of the real Raphael and his name stuck with me. I might be adopting a whole new persona because of the last guy I stole off of."

Mikey shrunk back even more. No kidding, he didn't like that answer.

"I don't know what to tell you, Mike. I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry."

The whole theory now sank deep in his gut. It actually felt like the idea was tearing at the meaty parts and he felt sadness wash over him.

Mikey was the important one here, now, though. He was the one that needed to feel some sort of reconciliation.

"Say something, man. Anything. I've got nothing else to tell you."

Mikey's sky blue eyes pierced through Raph and in that moment, he knew that they were just...undecided. It wasn't fair. He shouldn't have brought anything up in the first place.

"I'm sorry."

Raph tried again desperately, his head swirling from trying so hard. Finally, Mikey opened his mouth to speak. The first word came out as a croak and forced him to clear his throat.

"Anything else you're lying about?"

"No. Nothing. Nothing, I swear it."

"I see."

Mikey nodded a few times and then forced a smile on his face. The kind of smile that sort of struck Raph with disbelief. It was fake. It was so fake.

"Well, then we're one step closer to knowing! Time for bed now. You must be tired!"

Raph's gut churned. He wanted to yell and scream at him to say something normal. To have him actually get mad like Leo did. Like Donnie would the next day.

"You gotta be kidding me. Stop that! You're not happy about this, don't be stupid! This isn't some light news, you know. It's not...this isn't you! Be angry! Be loud and explosive! Just do something other than smile like a dumbass!"

Venting his anger, it was Mikey's turn to take Raph's hand and lead him.

"Sensei always said to never let anger cloud your judgement. And duh, he's right. So let's go do something about it in the dojo."

"The dojo?"

Raph repeated with a quizzical look. Mikey nodded as they walked down the connecting hall from the house to the dojo. Once they reached there, Mikey walked to the storage closet and ruffled through various objects before pulling out a pair of training sais and nunchucks.

"I'll go easy on you since you went through some messed up stuff today. But I kind of really want to kick your ass too."

"I can't figh..."

Raph couldn't protest. He deserved at least that bit of satisfaction. It was a lot to dump on anybody, and if Mikey was really his brother? Hell, he deserved six months of beat-ups at the very least.

"Fine. I'll kick your butt, though, watch out. All that street fighting, you know?"

"Street fighting? The only things you were fighting were walls and stairs."

Smack talk. It got his blood boiling and kicked adrenaline into high gear.

"Alright, if that's how you wanna play it."

Mikey held out the wooden sais for Raph, his foam-covered nunchucks tucked under each armpit. Trying to take them from Mikey's grasp, Raph found that he wouldn't let go that easily. Staring him dead in the eye, Mikey's jaw squared and menacing, he noticed that he didn't seem so little anymore. Opposite of that, he seemed to be an actual threat?

"If you're my brother," Mikey began in a low tone, "then I almost hate you. If you're not my brother, and you're his murderer?"

Raph's slackened stance changed completely to match the squared on of Mikey.

"Then you're in the biggest trouble you can ever imagine."

"If you are my little brother?" Raph began, choosing his next words very, very carefully, "then I'm proud of you."

There is was. The small, faltering step that reassured Raph that Mikey was still the softest sponge of them all. A small grin spread across Raph's face as he took the sais away from Mikey now with a firm tug.

"You really believe me, huh? That I'm your brother?"

"I don't know what to believe. I want to, but if you are? If you really are Raphie?"

Pain definitely shone through the baby blues that tried so hard to stare him down. It tugged at the older boy's heartstrings and instinct was driving him to console him some way or another, but the source of pain was him. There was no consolation from that except the cold, hard truth.

"Then why'd you forget us? Us, out of everyone? Don't you remember anything at all? Anything? Are we that forgettable?"

Raph's heart lurched at the sight of Mikey's slowly sagging shoulders. The hardness was almost gone. Without a doubt, he wanted closure. Hell, who wouldn't? But not like this. He didn't want to see Mikey suffer like this. Not suffer, but _mourn_.

"Mikey...no...listen, I don't even know if I can be sorry yet for everything that's happened. But for what it's worth, I am."

Raph looked down at the sais in his hands and clenched them tight. God, why was this so hard? What was so hard about admitting that he had no clue? He didn't even know if his apologies meant anything to the poor kid. For all he knew, he was apologizing on behalf of a ghost.

"Mike, I-"

A hard nunchuk smacked his shoulder backwards. Looking up, he realized that the pity party was over. Mikey was done talking and he needed to vent in another way.

"Now we're speaking the same language."

Flashing the boy a grin, he ran forwards with a yell. Every thrust upwards struck only the air as Mikey dodged each and every single blow and returned it with hard smacks from the nunchucks. Foamed or not, they still hurt like a bitch, but this wasn't about Raph now. This was about Mikey. And that meant no 'ow's' or 'ouches' were allowed. Keep silent and accept the punishment.

"Didja ever think," Mikey began, backing away from a palm strike to the face by side stepping and driving his chucks down on Raph's thigh, "that we missed you?"

Raph was already getting breathless, but that didn't stop Mikey. If he were a teacher, he'd be one to push your limits, alright.

"Every...single...day."

Raph breathed harshly, his shoulders heaving with every word. Wiping his cheek from stray spittle that managed to find its way there, he ran forwards again and was met with only air, once again. Mikey had side stepped the boy entirely and smacked the nunchuck down on Raph's other shoulder. Angry at how hard he was trying, and how utterly natural Mikey seemed when he moved, he swiped outwards to his side in a wide arc with his right arm followed by his left arm leading with a jab. The chained part of Mikey's weapon wrapped around the left sai and Raph was suddenly greeted with the floor; his arm jutting out in front of him. Mikey had grounded him.

"Donnie thought you were our brother too, you know. Everyone did. We had a gut feeling about you. Didn't you even have that about us?"

Dumbfounded, Raph found himself trying to find the right words to say between the loud gasps of air and stuttering. Mikey loomed over him, mouth pulled in a tight frown as he awaited his answer.

"Sometimes."

"Sometimes?"

"I get migraines when I try to think too hard about where I'm from."

"So we're not worth the pain?"

Growling, Raph felt a fury burn in his chest like he never had before. Abandoning his sais, he let anger take control for what felt to be the first time in a long, long time. He sprung to his feet and charged forwards, taking Mikey by surprise. Raph's bony shoulder had hit the younger boy squarely in the chest and drove the air right out of him; but Raph didn't stop there. In the moment it took to make contact, the second moment was to lead up with enough momentum to send the boy crashing backwards onto the floor. Sitting on top of Mikey now, Raph took hold of his wrists and gave them a hard shake.

"You dumbass!"

Raph screeched, tears welling in his eyes. It was only then that the sounds of several pairs of footsteps echoed down the halls towards the dojo.

"Every day I spent out there was pain! Thinking no one was looking for me; believing that I was worth shit! Pain is eating dirt because you're so hungry and can't find anything else! You want to know what pain is? Pain is not being able to find a way to end it all because you're _blind_! Because no one is out there looking for me because _I_ don't even know who I am."

It wasn't Raph crying, this time. It was Mikey. Raph's breathing was harsh, still, and he had begun shaking sometime throughout his monologue. With another weak shake of Mikey's wrists, he continued.

"I didn't get help. I didn't go to the police. I messed up, alright? I should have. I should have done so many things and I'm really sorry about it. But don't you ever, _ever_ think that you aren't worth the pain."

Raph's grip slackened on Mikey's wrists and he clambered off him. Staying in kneeling position beside the younger boy, he watched as he pushed himself into a sitting position and stared at Raph wordlessly. Furrowing his brows together, Raph hesitated to place his hand on Mikey's shoulder. It hovered there for a moment before he decided to let it rest there and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"I'm sorry. I didn't even know if I should have told you about my name after all. All it did was this,"

Raph gestured to the two of them on the ground and discarded weapons, "and fighting with you is the last thing I want right now."  
Leo and Donnie had entered the dojo with their weapons and stood a good distance away from the two just enough to asses the situation.

"Mikey, are you hurt?"

Leo asked, slowly approaching the two. Mikey and Raph exchanged glances before he shook his head.

"Get away from him, '_Raph_,'"

Donnie spat out the name like venom. Standing up, Raph did as he was told and rose his hands up in a surrendering position as he slowly moved back. He took note that Leo actually had real katanas in his hands. Looking over at Donnie, he noticed that he held a real bo-staff in his hands too.  
God. They were serious.

"Guys, everything's okay."

Mikey tried reassuring, standing up and looking back at Raph and saw that he was inching closer to one of the unlocked sliding panels leading outside.

"Hey, whoa, don't bolt! Everything's okay! Guys, we were sparring, it's fine! He's...I think he's actually Raphael."

Mike took several steps back towards Raph and wiped his eyes vigorously with the back of one of his hand, the other outstretched towards him as if it would stop him somehow. Leo and Donnie exchanged stern glances before they approached Raph once more, lowering their weapons.

"There's no way to know that for sure. But we don't to risk you doing more harm than good right now. If you're really Raphael, you'd stay no problem. Unless you're not."

"Unless I'm threatened. I'm not stupid enough to stay with real weapons pointed at me."

Raph spat back towards Leo. He backed up all the way to the panel and toed it open. The look of horror was too real on Mikey's face. And he almost stayed because of it.

But two sharp swords and a bo-staff in actual trained hands made him think twice. Turning his head to Mikey, he mouthed the word 'bye' before taking off into the night. As the house diminished from view, he could hear his name being called over and over again.

There was no turning back now. He fucked even this up. Slowing to a walk, he looked up at the sky and stuck his hands inside his sleeves; breathing out the cold air. The asphalt was cold under his feet and air bitterly cold against his freshly washed skin. At least they had clues. At least now they could restart their search for their brother. Leo was right. If he was really their brother, he would have stayed.  
At the very least, he said goodbye to Mikey this time.

* * *

**AN: WHOO! Thanks so much for the reviews and favs, guys! Really means a lot to me!**


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